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10 Signs you’re addicted to loving a cheater

Here on Lovefraud, we often say that the incredibly strong feelings you have for someone you know is a sociopath are not really love, but addiction.

How can you know? And how does this happen?

Donna Andersen has just contributed an article to YourTango.com, a website dedicated to love and relationships, that answers the questions. Here are some of the signs:

1. You confront him about the calls on his phone from other women. He comes up with excuses, and you know they are lame, but you accept them anyway.

2. He says it’s your fault that he cheated on you, and you agree with him.

3. You keep telling yourself that if you could just be more loving, patient, sexy, etc., he would make you his one-and-only.

Read the rest of the article here:

10 Signs you’re addicted to loving a CHEATER, on YourTango.com.


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27 Comments on "10 Signs you’re addicted to loving a cheater"

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Really, the pattern follows what I’ve seen with conversations with sociopaths. Every single time. First, willing to see our point of view, while still refusing to take any responsibility. But you think, well, s/he sounds like they kind of get it. Thank God. Some validation. Then when they don’t get what they want from us, or get what they do NOT want in the way of boundaries, the blame and the victim mentality increases. When that still does not get what they want, ie total aquiescence of one’s self, boundaries and all, including seeing him/her as the complete victim, the vitriol from him/her increases. They are 100% victim, and we are either 100% to blame, or at the very least are 100% scum for not being willing to throw ourselves on the railroad tracks to try to save them from their mental anguish. Every. Single. Time. When my stalkery friend from years ago tried to reestablish contact with me the second to last time, he went through all three phases within about 12 hours and like 8 phone calls. His last couple calls that time were to tell me he had taken like a million sleeping pills and was putting himself back inpatient in a psych ward b/c he didn’t think I would have been so cold, and he thought that as a Christian I would want to help him get better. With my ex, she kept laying the guilt trip on me that I was being so “nasty” with her in everything I said (it didn’t matter what I said or in what tone I said it, it was all me being nasty somehow) and she was horrified that I didn’t care enough about my life partner (who, mind you, I had already broken up with) to continue to put aside anything I had to do ever (including work) to be by her side as she was having a mental breakdown. It isn’t enough to just be indifferent with them, to just stay away from them. They expect that we go out of our way to help them, regardless of the cost for us. I think I need to write about my old (now dead) stalkery friend. That could be good times. Too bad I didn’t learn my lesson well enough with him to avoid my ex. Won’t make that mistake again.

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