An elderly couple scammed, and refuse to believe they were scammed

“He was always very nice,” Miriam Parker, age 84, said of the man who scammed her and her husband out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. It’s an unbelievable story of how the elderly are defrauded, and how they refuse to believe they are being defrauded, which sets them up for losing even more.

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20 Comments on "An elderly couple scammed, and refuse to believe they were scammed"

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Ugh, Truth, you are so right. Explotation to the nth degree.

The elderly who are in the EARLY stages of losing their judgment, like Doug’s dad that sent the woman $1.2 million dollars, usually have some idea that they may be “losing it” because they become forgetful—where did I put the car keys or forgetting to pay the light bill….but they don’t want their kids to know about this, and they DENY it.

My neighbor “grandpa” that was scammed by the meth-ho he met in the parking lot, who showed up every first of the month when he got his check and disappeared the day it was gone totally DENIED he had any problems. My egg donor was actually DRUGGED by the Trojann Horse Psychopath, to the point that she was slurring words, could hardly walk and was sleeping most of the time…but she denied totally that she was drugged. I personally would have thought that she would have jumped at the chance ot say “Oh, yea, that wasn’t me,, I was DRUGGED” but instead she denied she was drugged. I’m still not sure why.

Her judgment is not good, and after being told 9 years ago not to drive after her two strokes, she has recently decided she is quite capable of driving again. I had her insurance agent speak to her about this and she became very angry that she would be thought not safe to drive.

Funny thing, my step father who was always the driver if we were in the car, WILLINGLY TURNED OVER THE CAR KEYS to me when he got cancer. Daddy was an excellent driver and had taught driver’s ed for several years…but he didn’t have an emotional problem in admitting that maybe it was time to turn over the keys. Egg donor on the other hand has a control issue I think. He didn’t.

Most people want to remain independent, and as I have aged I have realized there are things I no longer am capable of doing for myself. Admitting this inability to do the things I enjoyed doing when I was younger, more able to do physical things, is sort of difficult, I admit. Asking for “help” in doing things I have previously done for myself is also difficult for someone who is as independent as I am. I enjoy “doing for’ myself, but sometimes there comes a point when we must admit (if we have good judgment) that we need help.

As judgment goes, but the desire for independence stays, sometimes the elderly become a danger to themselves in managing their finances and become perfect victims. As my egg donor screamed after the arrest of my DIL and the Trojan Horse “but they were ALWAYS SO RESPECTFUL TO ME!” LOL

OxD, you are so spot-on. The early stages are the easiest to exploit, I imagine. The “forgetfulness” and denial aren’t pronounced enough to be rendered as a true condition – just a symptom. And, that is the precise time when concerned family members are sort of held in suspicion.

And, the denial is something that I can completely understand. Heck, I was in denial about the nature of this progressive disease, and I would push my body past the limits of its endurance just to prove a point that I wasn’t “sick” and that I could overcome this by sheer force of will.

Oxy-your egg donor denying she was drugged. It is a physiological condition called cognitive dissonance. Read the book, “Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me.” I can’t think of the authors name. Of course it wasn’t your egg donors mistake that she was poisoned but cognitive dissonance still explains it. What I gathered from the book is that it is an ego thing which causes a complete disconnect from reality. Very excellent book. I learned a lot about my behavior and my n/h’s behavior when I read it.

Grace, the book is the same one that Just-us-5 mentioned.
I wrote a book review on my website about it.
The review is sort of an outline of what you can expect to learn about from this book. I wish I’d done a better job on the review, but I feel like I didn’t do justice to explaining how important it is to read this book.

Truth, you know we all have to fill a hunger. Animals do, people do. The problem with people is that some of us have a hunger that can’t ever be filled. And some of those resort to predation as a temporary solution. But as with all hungers, the need to hunt always returns.

Skylar, I enjoyed your book review. I haven’t read the book, but would like to.
Skylar, you might like to read, Edgar Allan Poe’s, “The Purloined Letter.” I read it in a second book, entitled, “The Purloined Poe”. This was in a course of Literary Criticism, and Theory, and came directly before a second Professor assinged Girard. “The Purloined Letter, describes a triangle in which a sort of musical chaires game is played. This game is lost or won simply by what position in the triangle each player is in….and these positions are determined by the ability or inability to see…to see the other not seeing, to see the other seeing another not seeing….etc, etc, etc.
The second book, “The Purloined Poe,” is a remarkable collection of essays that speak to Poe’s game, and sort of reflect it’s action.
This collection contains essays by Jaques Lacan, and Jaque Derrida, as well as other Psycho-analytical critics, Phylosophers, and others. I think it ould fascinate you, and lend you food for thought in your study of Girardian Theory and Psychopathy.
Google it and see what you think.

Here’s a link to Poe’s, Purloined Letter.

Thank you so much for the link, Kim.
I didn’t even think to look for the story, I just read the wiki about it.
Right now, I’m on my way out the door, will read it when I get back.

Glad you liked the book review. Like I said, I think everyone should read it. It’s so important to understand how we make decisions and how those decisions affect us.

In the book, they explain that most of the time we assume that people, like animals, will choose pleasant things over unpleasant things. Cog/Dis is why that’s not always the case.

see you later.

I read the purloined letter just now!
This is what I think: The man who stole the letter is a spath.

EA Poe described the 180 rule in the way the letter was “hidden” in plain view. The letter was placed exactly in the last place you would expect to find it, out in the open.

Moreover, the envelope was turned INSIDE OUT, the seal –which had been small and red — was replaced with a large black one, the handwriting which had been masculine and bold, was replaced with feminine handwriting. Everything was 180 degrees the opposite so as to be able to leave the letter in plain sight but not be recognized.

Of course the man was described as being a crafty and evil minister, too.

What is amazing to me, is that Poe described a spath to a T. His manner of behaving (staying out all night), the 180 rule, etc… is a description of a spath. That description of a spath is in plain view, yet nobody recognized it either. Further, the example of the boy who plays marbles by sizing up the intellectual capacity of his opponent, is more spath description.

I was particularly struck by Poe’s description of the WAY in which the child was able to “mirror” his opponent’s expression and then wait until his own thoughts also mirrored the opponent’s thoughts. Then he could predict what the opponent would do.

This story was written in 1845, but the theory of mirror neurons, very recently discovered, explains empathy in EXACTLY THE SAME WAY! According to this theory, we mimic each other’s facial expressions in order to “feel” each other’s emotions. We do this subconsciously, even infants do it.

Granted, the story was written before the word psychopath/sociopath was commonly used, so I don’t expect people from that era to know. Yet, why is it being taught as being about triangulation, when it is such an apt description of psychopathy? The guy could easily be the poster child for a spath.

You are always a source of inspiration and insight, Kim. Thank you!

Truth, Yea, after the aircraft crash I had NO short term memory, and couldn’t remember watching a movie tomorrow that I saw it today, I would watch it over again and it might be “familiar” but I wouldn’t remember the plot.

It really FREAKED me out that I couldn’t remember things and my son would remember one thing and I woujld remember another and we would try to figure out who was right and who was imagining things. If we hadn’t had a good relationship we would have fought….like I have seen elderly couples fight about who is right about something because one or both of them forget.

The early stages where the JUDGMENT GOES first is the hardest part to diagnose and to deal with…and an adult child or other person cannot get legal guardianship at that point, they just have to watch daddy or mommy give away everything they own to scammers or con men. Not a darn thing anyone can do to stop them, they are legally adults and until they are “incompetent” they can conduct their business even if it is not “wisely.” The thing is too, that like that 90 yr old guy that married the blonde Marilyn Monroe bimbo…can’t remember her name LOL ROTFLMAO…he could do with HIS MONEY WHAT HE WANTED TO and if it was to marry a blonde bimbo with big boobs he could do that and his kids couldn’t stop him. Ohl, I remember now, Anna Nichole Smith was her name.

Well, I hear a water melon calling my name! LOUDLY!!!

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