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Another murder, another reason why students need Lovefraud Education

A Lovefraud reader sent the following link. In Manheim Pennsylvania, Benjamin Daniel Klinger, 19 has been charged with homicide in the death of his girlfriend. Read:

Police: Pa. man suffocated girlfriend after crash, on News.Yahoo.com.

This story is heartbreaking. The article describes previous abusive and controlling behavior exhibited by Klinger, right out of the sociopath playbook. This is a worst-case scenario of dating abuse, and why I’m speaking to high schools and colleges on this topic.

If you are in a position to recommend my presentation to high school or college officials, please contact me at [email protected] Here’s a video clip of the presentation.

Love Fraud and How to Avoid It



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13 Comments on "Another murder, another reason why students need Lovefraud Education"

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YES, DONNA!!!! Spread that word, and I’m in full-tilt!

Samantha’s story is so horrible – and, typical, sadly. And, what’s going to happen to her killer? Oh, not much….some prison time, medical care, dental care….

Ugh…just, UGH.

Brightest blessings

When I read this story I wanted to puke. This is NOT a RARE event (okay, the details may be different, but domestic abuse murder is not unique or rare)

Here lately I’ve read story after story of man kills wife/GF or mother/father kills kids…and I weep. Yet, believe it or not, murder statistics are down. NYC has ONLY had 400+ murders this year, the lowest number in decades, but each one still breaks your heart.

Yes, women (and men) need to realize that a psychopath is dangerous, Jessica Witt didn’t have any idea what Patrick was, or that he was capable of killing her “over nothing” so she went to her death with him, willingly because she did NOT KNOW what a psychopath was. IGNORANCE KILLS.

Donna,
In your HS program, do you discuss what ‘others’ or friends can do to help enlighten or educate those around them, who they may suspect (or it’s obvious) that they are in an abusive relationship?

The abuse is rarely a ‘secret’ to those around the victim.

But…..the question remains….what is the ‘secret serum’ in getting these victims away and safe from the abusers.

I wish we had that answer!

I was with the spath as a young teenager…..and looking back, others were aware of my abuse….yet there was nothing that could be said to me to get me away from him, the more people tried, the closer I got to him. I ‘loved him’, I believed he wanted to change…..and look….I was determined to marry him…..and I spent almost 3 decades with him. I was gonna prove all the naysayers wrong…I COULD MAKE THIS WORK!!!

I wish I had the answer. I do think we’ve come along way…..and at this point, I think the only answer is education. Educating kids and parents.
None of this education or information was available 20 years ago……
Now, it’s ok to speak about it.

Keep speaking about it Donna. I wish we never have to hear about another ‘Sammi’ again!!!

So sad.

Donna, I wonder if your video series could be made available to school counselors etc and DV shelters etc at a reasonable cost?

I know it would be “better” to have you there in person, but you know a video is not a bad way to teach either…that or an interactive program over the internet so you didn’t have to physically travel to the school. Most schools now have the capability to stream stuff over Skype etc. (sorry if I spelled that wrong, I’m sort of a computer dummy)

I also think DV shelters should have copies of it on video. What better place to find people who NEED THAT INFORMATION about what they are dealing with. Stats show that 75% of all DV abusers are psychopaths.

This story made me sick. He planned the murder. He thought he could make it look like an accident because, after all, WHO would risk their OWN life in a car accident? A SPATH WOULD.

This reminds me of the way my own spath operates, except he doesn’t get caught. And nobody would believe the things he does because, after all, WHO would do that? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Which brings us back to the subject of teaching high school kids. The main lesson to teach kids is that there ARE people with this kind of AUDACITY. They exist, they lie, they deceive in ways that good people CANNOT even imagine because our conscience overpowers any impulse like that. We feel REVULSION at the idea of it, so we assume everyone else does too. Not so.

This is the main lesson that I took away from my spath encounter: People who are/feel 180ร‚ยฐ the opposite of us DO exist and they HIDE it. If we can get that into young people’s heads and make them really, really see and believe it, then that is where we should start.

The next step, of course, is to teach them the red flags so they don’t just live lives of paranoia. That wouldn’t be good, because it could turn them into spaths.

OXD, YES!!!!!!!!!!! DV shelters need the video series, absolutely. I wonder if contacting http://www.ndvh.org would be of any help with this idea….

Erin, I don’t know what the magic serum is, but I think it has to start with the media. Television programming that glorifies excessive behaviors (REALITY SHOWS) has simply got to stop. People behaving badly are being compensated and made into celebrities, and this has got to come to an end. Just my ranting opinion, there…..oh, my goodness.

Truthy, I remember when I was a little kid and TV was first in our neighborhood and we watched wrestling and the adults debated if it was “real” or not. Of course we know it is all fake, but PEOPLE GET REALLY HURT THOUGH. And look at what BOXING does to the contestants—and NFL football…and for that matter high school foot ball. We glorify violence and anyone who tells you that violent video games and TV and movies do not desensitize children and even adults against violence are full of the Maine’s ELEPHANT POO!

Violence has ALWAYS been with us since Cain killed Abel but you know, it ain’t getting a lot “better” –or maybe it is, like I said earlier, NYC had the LOWEST MURDER RATE EVER this past year.Of course we have half a million VIOLENT psychopaths locked up too and 1.5 million of their HIGH IN P TRAITS BUDDIES as well…(average PCL-R score 22)

Frankly I am in favor of the “lock’em up and throw away the keys…” like that guy who killed his sister, set the houses on fire and shot the fire men. Today I read where they got the woman who KNOWINGLY BOUGHT THE GUNS FOR HIM…I hope she gets convicted and sent up for life! My DIL bought guns for her lover the Trojan Horse KNOWING he intended to use them to kill her husband, helping him set it up…she got **probation** because they didn’t manage to pull it off.

When is society going to wake up to the fact that VIOLENT people do not “get better” or “nicer” ‘by 18 or 20 years in prison? 60% of them don’t make it 3 years on the outside without another FELONY. Sheesh, speaking of getting on a rant! LOL

Wow, this is a horrible story!!! I am kind of confused. It said the officers observed him sitting on her head!!??? Why didn’t they get him off of her??? Did I read that right??

Oh my goodness!Reading this story brought so many memories back to me!!!My spath husband would try to put fear into me as he ‘put the pedal to the metal’….it didn’t take long for me to remember to buckle that seatbelt anytime I got in the car with him!Whenever he pulled his ‘stunts'(which also involved physically wrestling as he was driving),I would intentionally put on a fearless face…..looking him straight in the eyes!That intimidated him and slowed him down!But when I read articles such as this,I realize I should never have been in the car with him!

But it is like Erin Brock said;nobody can tell you anything when you are DETERMINED to prove to the world(or atleast family & friends) that You CAN & WILL make this relationship work!YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PERSON AND YOUR LOVE WILL SAVE THEM!There is no inkling or grasp of the danger involved in the situation…in “your” mind,it’s sad when “those” things happen….but “they happen to OTHER PEOPLE”!

My first husband was a spath ( this was almost 18 years ago). I was very young and naive. I wish I had education about this while I was in high school. Right now as I read and gain knowledge about spaths I’m educating my teenager daughter. Teenagers ( IMO) are so susceptible to being “conned.” They are guillible and I don’t mean that in a bad way- they fall for any lines a “boy” gives them and think its “real love.” Teenagers tolerate so much in the relationship too – meaning the not so pleasant and it’s sad!
Thank you Donna for pushing to get this education across to high school students!

Donna, you need to clone yourself and I feel this program should be in every high school in the nation. There should be programs for parents to educate their children, programs for teachers who observe these kids every day, programs for counselors and school psychologists. I also believe there are many therapists out there who don’t know the true meaning of what a sociopath is. I also feel the clergy needs a program to recognize the signs. Too many people, both young and old, don’t get it. They think sociopaths beat people physically and are always in trouble with the law. They think they are serial killers. The message has to get out there. You need to be on Dr. Phil or something too.

This story breaks my heart. These DV cases only make national headlines when the murderer or victim is a celebrity. so many sociopaths are DV abusers….i guess it call comes down to the ‘power and control’ ๐Ÿ™ I hope this kid rots in PA state prison!

I met my first spath at age 15. He is a physically abusive person. It would happen out of nowhere. I believed that I could love him enough and it would conquer all. The problem is I found out later I believed somewhere that this was my chance to do this right and to be loved in return as unbeknownst to me, I felt no love at home. In my mind I laid my whole self on the line for this love. I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. If this failed, I would be forever unloved and my FOO would be right about me. (this is the depths of years of innerself work) I had too much riding on this and wasn’t even aware how much. I also believed I was “making him so mad that he became abusive”. My father told me one time after a DV incident that he could see why my boyfriend hit me! This was at his birthday lunch that I invited him to! Those never turned out well. I nothing to refer back to in my or his life. Now I know it was him because he has broken 3 womens noses that he has dated. I did meet another sociopath a year after the beating (father of my child, eye roll) but I was never beaten again like that by another man.

In all other aspects of my life I behaved respectably and was considered smart, athletic and popular (important things at that age). I left my self respect at the door with this one. When I finally left it literally felt like severring limbs to me and much like the drug addictions I had seen others kick. 5 months after I called it quits for good (after 18 years of hanging on and off), he could sense this time was real and he showed up at my house and nearly beat me to death!

I would love to help with getting the word out of the “red flags” and what to watch for in young dating lives. Our courthouses need to take this more seriously also. It seems orders of protection are getting harder to come by and mine were used as a tool in case I was ever killed, not to protect. I really feel it just makes the laws job easier if you turn up dead. Meanwhile it antagonizes the abuser when he is served.

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