Another online dating scam

Kate Roberts of the U.K. fell in love with a U.S. soldier she met on a dating site, and sent him £80,000. Unfortunately, the profile was a fake, posted by Nigerian scammers.

Read The lonely heart scam: Mother sent £80,000 to a man she thought was a charming U.S. soldier ”¦ but she’d been conned by Nigerian fraudsters on

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For anyone who’s interested, there are more stories in the same newspaper on the original topic. For one thing, men as well as women are being ripped off by the same Nigerian scam:

Postman loses £130,000 savings to Nigerian internet scam after being duped by a friend he met on MySpace

That story shows how the same guy also fell for a “secondary” scam that he hoped would help him get his money back. Instead, he lost ANOTHER $30,000 to a female con artist, this one claiming to be from the U.S.

And here’s an article with broader background on what they’re calling “rom scams” in general. Consequences can be lethal: the authors mention at least one man and one woman who committed suicide after being defrauded this way:

Rom scam: How African fraudsters now make £80million a year ripping off women (and a few men) so desperate for love they’ll believe anything

I’ll bet it’s more than “a few” men getting ripped off! That article also includes a brief interview with a Nigerian ex-scammer in person. He claims to be deeply regretful of doing it now–but I didn’t notice anything about PAYING BACK the £50,000 he so “deeply regretted” taking.

The old man who lives down the road from me, 82 years old and a good but lonely old man is sending money to Haiti and “is going to be RICH” as a result. He is living in poverty but NO one can convince him he is not going to get rich from sending every dime he can “beg, borrow or steal” to Haiti. Everyone is conspiring to “keep him from getting rich.”

Haiti, that place is a real hellhole. It was already a hellhole for years before the earthquake. The earthquake just made it that much worse. Given the present conditions there it doesn’t surprise me at all that people are operating scams from Haiti in a frantic attempt to get money from somewhere. Poor old guy, he’s unable to realize that if there’s one thing he’ll NEVER get out of a place like Haiti, it’s “rich.” Yet there’s paranoid thinking too behind his belief that “everyone is conspiring to KEEP him from getting rich.” Some people go gaga in their old age. It’s very sad.

I WANTED to believe that my “mother” loved me too, and wanted to believe that she appreciated me”but I ignored the truth for decades because it was TOO PAINFUL to accept that it was not true. I actually think I was “on to” the fact that my egg donor didn’t give a squat about me by the time I was 5-6, but I didn’t want to believe it, so refused to, and made excuses for everything she did to prove she didn’t’ give squat about me. I played her games of “let’s pretend I never did anything really nasty and mean to you.”

That’s completely understandable, Oxy. What can make it so hard for children especially when their parent is abusive or just doesn’t care is that the child has no way of knowing things should be different, because the child has no other experience of life to teach them otherwise. Home and their own family are all they’ve ever known. Parents are Godlike figures to a young child. So it’s far too easy for a child to imagine that “if a parent abuses me, it must be MY fault, and all the bad things they say about me must be true.” A child can end up carrying those damaging beliefs about the Self for the rest of their lives. Unless they find a way to change it.


You are completely right in both of the above posts. Dateline has done several good shows on these scams and scammer.

Yea, my neighbor isn’t certifiable or “demented” per se, he is pretty much like my egg donor, just poor judgment and grasping at straws for companionship and “hope.” I haven’t seen the “crack ho” around lately, though, so maybe he got lucky and she found a more affluent victim.

Just saw a promo for tomorrow’s newscast featuring a segment on a local woman who got scammed on-line. Think I’ll set the DVR & see what the scam is, and perhaps more importantly, how the VICTIM is portrayed – they set it up like a warning to others – EDUCATION and ADVOCACY are what is needed to fight back!!!



My Ex Spath had cheated on me with a girl he met on a dating site. We were together 1 yr and for 8 months of the year he dated me and several women. FYI im a gay man, and my spath was “open-minded”. So this gal is a single hard working mother of 2. She moved all the way here from the east coast to the pacific northwest to live with him in the townhouse that i got for him ( i know!!!!!!, i lost this after we ended). So, what would he want with a single mother of two…she moved here with her kids after dating him online for 4 months…he has such power and control over people…sigh….crazy thing is that my spath and i are friends and he doesnt know that i know this…

Should i contact her and spill the beans and expose him or just let it all play out?

A different me:
take care of you first. Whatever you do, don’t do anything to endanger YOU. But if you can talk to her, it would be the kind thing to do. Do it without drama and arm yourself with books.
BTW, I’m north of seattle. Are we in the same area?


I agree with Sky. For a variety of reasons on that one.

If you can notify her safely, I say do it.

But only you know. Yea, where on the west coast? Sky is not far from me, I’m in oregon.


Diff, I agree with the others, if you can safely do so, tell her. OMG she brought 2 little kids all the way across the country for this guy?? Whew, she’s sure risking a lot!!

I hope you are doing well. Take care of yourself.

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