By | November 11, 2010 24 Comments

Arizona con man rips off investors; wife held responsible

Cindy White met a and married a man who seemed to be a kind, successful investor. He turned out to be a complete fraud who swindled his investors. White knew nothing about it, and was not involved in the business, but authorities in Arizona have her on the hook for $1.5 million.

Yesterday, KPHO TV in Phoenix covered the story. Watch the video and read the story at Husband’s double life leaves woman with $1.5 M debt.

Cindy White is planning a book about her experience, and hopes that you’ll comment on the article.

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Ox Drover

The horror of this story is that it could happen to ANYONE…and HAS happened to Donna, Liane, and many/most of every other person here on this site–the details may be different, and not all of us have made the 6 O’clock news, but the betrayal and devastation is just as real.

What is also a horror of a story like this is that most of the people who read/hear this story have NO idea that THEY could be one of the ones it happens to until they wake up one day and the night mare is TRUE.

I hope this woman’s story will pierce the veil of psychopathy to some extent and help in the education of the public. One more voice “crying in the wilderness,” but unfortunately, I’m not so sure how many people will listen until they are also caught in the same trap!


What a horrific and unfortunate story… of the unfortunate parts is…….Yep….I can see this!
As I sit here the past few days, questionioning the human race….this is another example of ‘who the frick CAN we trust?”
I guess, as you too are learning……no one.
After being spathed……it’s almost impossible to have faith in another person…..allow your vulnerabilities to show and trust.

As Oxy says above, we are all vulnerable to this sort of con. This is why it works. Play off the trust of another. Then play them all against each other as they walk away to the next.

This story makes me sick. I can’t see how Cindy can be held responsible for his crimes legally. I definately see a legal exit for Cindy…..but not after the attorneys take their cut, will she be able to walk away and rebuild.

I hope Cindy finds peace. I trust she will be able to clear her name. I hope she will find the strength to educate and speak up about the painful lessons she’s learned by her encounter with a sociopath.
This is all we can do. Don’t let this silence you Cindy!!!
Stand up and fight!

super chic

Ditto what Oxy and EB just said, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Ox Drover

Years ago when I lived outside Dallas TX, there was a news article about a former professional baseball player who owed MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in income tax. He had abandoned his wife and children there in Dallas and had taken off to another country (I am assuming with a suitcase full of cash) where he was living out of the reach of the IRS of the US. His home had gone into foreclosure and his wife and kids had to move into a tiny apartment and SHE was working at a McDONALDS at minimum wage trying to support herself and the kids—and guess what! THE IRS WAS GARNISHING HER WAGES and taking 20% of her tiny salary for HIS multi-million dollar IRS bill!

There was enough hoopla went on that they finally advised her she could file an “innocent spouse” petition and they’d get off her arse…..but without the money to hire an attorney how in the frack was she supposed to EVEN KNOW SHE COULD DO THAT?

Actually Cindy’s position isn’t all that unusual for the INNOCENT wives or spouses of tax cheats and other crooks! And of course they are considered GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT! just because they are married to the guy, and even after he takes a hike with the ill gotten gains and leaves them high and dry!

GRRRRRRR! (that’s the sound of me grinding my teeth again)


I divorced my vampire in October 1999. He moved in with another woman the day I sent him packing. That’s another story, one of many, unfortunately.

I did receive a tax bill from the State Attorneys Office in March for a sales tax debt of $ 34,000.00. He put a business in my name and didn’t bother, of course, to take care of things and failed to protect me. I cannot file “innocent spouse” on sales tax.

Nice. This guy is the classic spath. Ert I get so angry just thinking of all of the time I wasted, nearly 10 years of my life….and the hits keep coming! I use to think nobody would ever ever believe the things that happened to me because of this relationship. I can hardly believe it myself.


Did I mention the tax debt is from 1994 ? It gets to follow me the rest of my life, unless paid.


Dear Oxy,
soon you will have ground your teeth right down to stumps, and will only be able to eat pureed babyfood, LOL!
Good for you tho, losing all that weight! I seem to be stuck at the same weight I was 3 or 4 years ago, ie, 15 stones.{Multiply by 14 to get pounds!}
Can t shift it. I eat well, dont overeat, have lots of salads, avocadoes plain yoghurt,,wholegrain bread, bran cereal, fruit,v. little salt,{Dave adds his own salt},grilled meat and fish, never have second helpings, choc, only the dark kind, and no more than a coupla squares a night.I have half a glass of white or red wine most nightsI drink lots of filtered wate r with a slice of lemon in it, each day.. Never buy sweets, cakes, cola, or sugary drinks. Im healthy tho, I swim twice weekly, and walk lots, and am up and down stairs all day.{This place is on 3 levels.} So what the hell, I guess this is ME now!!I garden, clean house, shop, all the usual things and have a lot of energy so maybe this is the way Im MEANT to be at my age, LOL!!{I had 2 very large Grannys! Bigger than me!}
Blood sugars OK, BP OK,Chol, Im on medication for.
At a certain point I guess you just think, what the hell, Im sick of
depriving myself to no end!Well, my end,{arse} is still the same size, if I lose weight it never comes off my belly or my arse!!
Love, Gem.XX

Ox Drover

Dear vampire slayer,

Check on bankruptcy, sometimes that will get rid of old taxes,, just depends on the kind and the state—-ruins your credit for 7-10 yrs but heck, you can’t any credit now anyway with that hanging over your head, so you might try and see what can be done with the situation.


Well, I’m kind of stuck on a plateau myself right now, not losing more weight but at least not gaining any. Tried some new recipes yesterday and today and at least the boredom of the same old stuff without the salt is not there today.

Didn’t get outside to walk today as it was cold, windy and rain, but oh, gosh we needed the rain and I was up and down the step ladder inside the house doing chores–had to take down EVERYTHING out of my kitchen cabinets so repairs could be done and it is almost as bad as moving house! So did get some exercise of a sort.

There really isn’t a “short cut” to losing weight or a magic diet, it is “burn more than you take in,” bottom line. So I need to either exercise more and burn more or take in less to get over the hump! Doing it and saving the TASTE is a matter of getting a new habit for the long haul, so I’m not giving up by any means. I know I will feel more energetic when I am not carrying around so much LARD ON MY ARSE! LOL

Dani S

Vampireslayer, I considered bankruptcy with the debt I stupidly allowed the spath to put in my name. It was not a lot about $15,000 but a lot for a single mum of 3 that was not going to receive a brace razoo from the ex! Anyway I decided to take out a personal loan that my parents had to guarantee for me, quite embarrassing having to have a guarantor at nearly 40 and who actually had quite a but of money, home & car before meeting him.
I had never owned a cent, before the spath, only on my mortgage and I was not comfortable with bankruptcy although it would make the next 7 years easier to live without the payments.

It could have been much much worse but the ex said he would never put the marital home & business in my name in case I ran off on him and took everything! lol, now that is a joke!
When he lost everything his kicked and screamed through the courts that I should be responsible for half the debt. Mind you when I left him the business was making money. It was nearly 2 years down the track he had ran it into the ground and then demanded that I pay half which would have been around $300,000

Spath also before he went broke, changed everything he owned into other people’s name so I or debtors could not make a claim against him! And yet he still drives around in a $70,000 car, paid for of course.. grrrrrrr
My heart bleeds for these people that have had this happen and the poor women that works at Macca’s and gets her wage garnished! makes me sick, sad and very mad!!!!

kim frederick

Or if they were in cahoots. Maybe they split the money, later. Is that possible? Where did you find this guy? Did Andy know him? Was Andy on drugs? It sounds a lot like a drug users scam.


Thanks gang, much appreciated. The support is awesome. Jeannie, thats a horrible story. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I am stonger because of my experience. I can spot those sleezy suckers a mile away.

BTW, my ex is still with that same woman, although the day we divorced he begged for me to not go through w/ it. Still called me to “hook up”. ( i did not ) She wanted Mr. Wonderful, she got em. I can only thank god every day that I was able to get out while I was young.

Whenever I see him in my dreams, I have this horrible feeling of doom and dread. Anyone else experience that ? Its unbelievable that even in my dreams, the impact is still felt.


Ya I second that Kim. It does sound like drugs or cahoots to split the money. Unbelievable the lengths they go to…



I have the feelings of “doom and dread” whenever I think about the h-spath, KNOWING that more bombs will drop in the future. All of these guys are alike.

Ox Drover

Dear Jeannie,

Yea, I go along with the others, this was a scam for ANDY to get money out of you. Couldn’t be anything else!

One of the things that is the hardest to see I think is the scam WHILE IT IS GOING ON. We know SOMETHING isnt’ right, but we can’t put our finger on what it is…in retrospect though, sometimes we or others can see it clear as DAYLIGHT—HIND SIGHT IS 20/20

LOL I’m just glad you are away from this creepo!!!


Although my x-spath did not directly borrow or take money from me, he sure was good at “allowing” me to pay for everything. Trips, dinners, lunches, shopping, etc. He never reciprocated. He would “offer” to help me pay my bills when he wanted me to do something “for him”. Example, my electric was close to be shut off..his response was “drag”. Ummm, ok, this is after 2 years of being together. If I had not gone on that vacation with you, that you invited “me on”, I wouldn’t be in the hole (considering I ended up paying for mostly everything). He is the one that was working, I was back in college (trying to re-invent myself) single mom, 6 kids, and I am paying for HIS ass on a vacation he invited me on. Where is that pan in the head Oxy?! I have said this sooo many times, I wished I had found this site years ago when I knew something was “off” but I couldn’t put my finger on it! As the saying goes, better late than never!


After thinking more about this story, my x-spath x-wife told me a story about him that was news to me. While they were married, he went in as partners with his best friend opening a company together. Long story short, according to the ex-wife, he (x-spath) was stealing money from the company. He owed money to lots of people. She had two young children and had men showing up at her door with guns threatening her that if they weren’t paid by him, they were coming back. She said it was very scary. That was the beginning of the end for her. I can’t blame her one bit! I’m so glad I never got that far with him (to marry him). He had talked many times about his dream of opening his own company again. Little did he know I knew his past experience with opening a company.


I hope that things work out for Cindy White, in her favor, that some how she can be freed-up of his debts.

Ox Drover

Dear Findingmyself,

Unfortunately, too many times even if we were warned, we would not have listened. I was warned about a couple of psychopaths I did business with and DID NOT LISTEN, and one I went to work for, did not listen. I have also warned others about psychopaths and NOT had anyone listen…so even if we are TOLD we won’t always listen (I never did!) So don’t beat yourself up with the cyber skillet for not finding this place cause chances are, even if you had, you wouldn’t have listened…you’d have found some excuse of why poor baby needed your help.

Well, sounds to me like you have plenty to keep you occupied with 6 kids—I quit giving birth to them at 2, but did adopt one more and had some foster kids—but am glad now that I didn’t have more! Glad too that they are all “grown”—I loved being a mom to toddlers, and especially at middle school age—but except for my adopted son, the rest wasn’t fun. Just glad I am no longer responsible for anyone but myself.


Oxy baby- I “knew” something was wrong a loooong time ago. Quite honestly, because of his lack of emotion, OCD and few other “quirks” I thought he had Asperger’s. One of my children are on the spectrum so I am very familiar with the disorder. In the beginning I thought he reminded of my son in older form. BUT, the lies is not part of that disorder; they are honest to a fault, cheating (in adults) with Aspergers is not common either. So for a few years I was searching for answers. After I finally starting seeing more of his ways, I then went to narc checklist, which he fits a lot of that also. I always thought sociopaths were criminals/killers. If I had found LF years ago and started posting with all my questions and all he was doing, I’m sure my eyes would have opened WIDE!!! I’m sure I’m not the only one here who initially thought “other things” were the issue, right?

Now I am curious, before every one figured out what was REALLY going on, what did you think first, or second was the real issue?

Ox Drover

Dear Finding,

Gosh, that is a BIG question and can’t be answered in just one post—I’n not sure I could answer in a book! LOL I’ll have to think on that one.

Just “mean” or Just an asshole? Just a liar? “There’s good in everyone”??? Hell, I’m not sure!

Good question.


LMAO Oxy!! YOU crack me up. Write the book woman!

I guess the FIRST thing I noticed about him was his lack of emotion/empathy. Those traits are lacking in Aspergers (for those of you who are not aware, Aspergers is on the Autistic spectrum-very high functioning Autism minus people skills, emotions, empathy-and other things). He was very “odd” with people. He would say just about anything to a perfect stranger and think nothing of it. He would stare at people who were dressed inappropriate with a look on his face that said “WTF?!?!” and then look at me and say (not softly), “did you see THAT!!?” Those initial traits (before the women and lying came to the surface) along with his OCD, made me really think that he was high functioning autism. I did a lot of reading on forums with adults of this disorder. Eventually, I realized that women and lies are not part of that disorder at all.

While in my “denial phase” I would always fall back to the Asperger’s and eventually added in N traits. A lot of Aspergers people are misdiagnosed with Narc.

When things were good, they were good (of course I didn’t know about behind the scenes at the time). I eventually kept reading and learning and moved past Asperger being the problem.


findingmyself – at first i thought ‘Oh poor guy nobody loves him he is so sad and he just needs some help getting his life back together’ well I put his life back together, new teeth, drivers license, vehicle..the list goes on and on..i felt sorry for him and he played me like a fiddle…


I’m so glad you mentioned asperger’s.
I think my bf has it.

Since I escaped from the sociopath, I look for traits of sociopathy EVERYWHERE. and I began to see them in my current bf. He is so “unusual”, I like it but it’s difficult for me because it reminds me of the exP in the narcissism and selfishness. But then it reminds me of my very narcissistic father too.

He is incredibly smart and has a photographic memory, but he gets mad when I mention it. but he doesn’t seem to have very much empathy. When he shows empathy I think it might be fake. But here’s where he differs from the xP: He’s no good at lying, faking empathy or conning anybody. In fact, he is constantly the target of con-artists and sociopath, including my xP. and he looks really geeky, like bill gates.
The strangest thing happens when we go out to nightclubs. Men will approach us and be very friendly toward both of us and then very surreptitiously, they will put their hand on my leg or their arm around me, where my bf can’t see it. And they keep up the friendly banter with him. I let it go for a bit because I completely lack boundaries and it doesn’t offend me – though I know that it should. Then I find a way to move away and I tell my bf about it later. He becomes very upset. This has happened at least 4 times, in one year. Including on our first date! It happened last weekend where 3 guys gave me the sociopathic stare and then the 2 brothers sat at our table. One brother, Dennis, kept my bf busy while the other brother, Dave, kept talking to me and put his hand on my knee under the table. Then he rubbed my arm. I asked him why he was doing that, and he got apologetic. I again asked him WHY he had done it – no answer. They got up and left but came back a bit later. Then Dave began to ask me personal questions and explained that he wanted to know how he could turn on his wife faster, because she was a slow responder. 🙁
Then he grabbed the lighter that we were using and proceeded to destroy it, bit by bit. He’s a firefighter by the way. In retrospect, I should have said, “little boy, I’m old enough to be your MOTHER!” That would’ve shut him down, but I was actually enjoying observing the bizarre behavior. It wasn’t until the next day that I thought about it and realized that I felt slimed. remembering his face made me feel revulsion, I just didn’t feel it at the time it was happening.

My bf, doesn’t notice it at all. He is so unaware that it would make it impossible for him to be a successful sociopath despite his genious IQ. On the other hand he does lie – though not well. I told him that he is just a wanna be sociopath. He seems to have a lot of anger too, but I’m starting to figure out that he is constantly fighting with his inability to read people, and the fact that they can all peg him for being this way. His only defense is to get very angry when he suspects he’s being played.
The example in the nightclubs is just one thing. it happens in business dealings too, and with worse consequences. The problem with the nightclub thing is that we both seem to attract sociopaths. Me, because of the “no boundaries” sign on my forehead and him because his sign says “geek”.

I think some of our confusion here on LF comes from the fact that these personality disorders, can overlap and often do. No one is purely one thing or another. EXCEPT MY XP. Pure sociopath, nothing but. He’s the poster child for sociopathy.

Ox Drover

Dear Finding,

There are many “overlaps” in psychology, and there are frequently people with MULTIPLE DIAGNOSES. Psychopaths have a higher than normally expected rate of ADHD, as well as Bi-Polar, etc. They are even more often LEFT HANDED than the general population, so there are several things that are “indicators” or at least show up more often in the subset of psychopaths than in the rest of the population.

In criminals incarcerated the Psychopathic Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) developed by Dr. Bob Hare to identify them, the AVERAGE score for inmates is 22, but the score for “full blown” psychopaths is 30. But because psychopathy is a spectrum not just an IS OR AIN’T situation, sort of like “mentally retarded,” a guy with a score of 20 is pretty much a BAD ACTOR even if he isn’t a “qualified” psychopath.

So when they say “! to 4% of the population is psychopathic” that means 1 to 4% score at or above 30, and believe me, a guy with a 15 is no angel and certainally not someone you want your ddaughter to marry!

If you add in all the people diagnosed with OTHER personality disorders such as Borderline, histrionic, etc. there are a BUNCH of dysfunctional and dangerous folks out there.

If you factor in the fact that bi-polar alone can cause hallucinations during mania and grandiose thinking along with a tendency toward some very risky behavior, then ADD that to a diagnosis of psychopathy in addition to the Bi-polar, and you have got some really dangerous folks.

Put ADHD, Bi-polar AND psychopathy (which is not too uncommon in that group) and TRIPLE WHAMMY—then raise that child in an abusive home and WOW! You have got Charlie Manson or Ted Bundy!

Trying to sort out all the “symptoms” isn’t quite as easily done as with physical diseases and conditions in which you can do a lab blood test or a culture—there are too many over laps. Is a particular behavior a result of mania from bi-polar, or from the ADHD or the grandiose thinking of psychopathy?

There is research going on but unfortunately, at this time, there is just no way to definitely “tag” which problem is which or just how to treat any/all of the disorders/diseases a person may have.

It is easy enough to be in “denial” about a problem of any kind that effects us or those we love—and denial isn’t totally a bad thing. SHORT TERM it is a good thing because it helps us cope with something that is too painful to deal with “all at once” but LONG TERM it keeps us from fixing a problem that we deny exists.

The whole healing process starts out learning about them, but ends up being about US and learning about ourselves.

(((Hugs))) and God bless.

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