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Author Archive: Amber Ault PhD

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By | February 21, 2019 0 Comments

How to date after a narcissist, sociopath or other exploiter

Dating after the narcissist

When you’re thinking about starting to date after a narcissist, sociopath or other exploiter, the last thing you need to hear is some so-called expert telling you to fix your low self-esteem.

I just read an article on PsychCentral, and the author says the reason you attracted a narcissist in the first place is because you lack confidence.

Hello?? I, for one, was not lacking in self-esteem when my sociopathic ex waltzed into my life. I’ve heard from plenty of successful, accomplished men and women who also found themselves in relationships with disordered individuals. Self-esteem is not the issue.

So what is the issue? Actually there are three:

  1. Lack of awareness

We fall for sociopaths (Lovefraud’s umbrella term … Read more

By | February 21, 2019 0 Comments

Love Fraud book excerpt: Because of my husband, I was about to lose everything

Love Fraud book excerptFinally, my husband, James Montgomery, found a project that might actually become reality — a Titanic Exhibition. He and a partner had secured investors, we’d assembled a collection of artifacts, I was planning the show — and then it all fell apart.

By Donna Andersen

On Thanksgiving morning, as usual, James got up long before me and went down to his office in the basement, even though he just flew in from Las Vegas the day before. I was in the kitchen, getting ready to prepare my contribution to the day’s feast—a casserole of carrots and apples—when he came upstairs, wearing his bathrobe.

“We should leave around one o’clock for my uncle’s house,” I said.

“All right,” James … Read more

By | February 18, 2019 0 Comments

3 Tips for polite conversation about relationship abuse

I recently attended a small party — about 15 people — at a friend’s home. I got into a conversation with two women, neither of whom I knew before. They both revealed that, like me, they had endured relationship abuse. We started swapping stories.

The first woman worked hard all her life, built a successful career, and then married the guy who, over about seven years, took advantage of her assets. She described his lies, mostly about money, as “gaslighting.”

The second woman had three children with a man who turned out to be a controller, moving her away from family and friends. She spent 20 years trying to shield the children from his destructive ways, then finally … Read more

 
By | February 17, 2019 0 Comments

Wednesday Webinar: Why it’s hard to get over a sociopath and how to recover

I hear from many people who have escaped from involvements with sociopaths — either because they’ve finally found the courage to leave, or were unceremoniously dumped. They are often in a lot of emotional pain, and, knowing how badly they were treated, they can’t understand why it is so hard to get over loving a sociopath.

If you’re in this situation, you know what I’m talking about.

Why does this happen? When you’re involved with a sociopath, the thrill at the beginning of the relationship is so intense, that the crash when the relationship ends is worse than anything you’ve ever experienced.

And why does this happen? Because the sociopath hijacks the human bonding system.

I explain all … Read more

By | February 15, 2019 0 Comments

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, to host free call in support group Sunday 2/24/19 at 5pm EST

Experience the support of people who know!  Join our free support group Sunday, February 24, 2019 at 5 pm EST. Go to destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining.  Do this every time even if you have joined us before!  We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call.  It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.

 … Read more

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By | February 15, 2019 0 Comments

FTC: Americans lose $143 million in romance scams last year

Editor’s note: Here’s a press release from the Federal Trade Commission, February 12, 2019:

New FTC Data Spotlight details big jump in losses, complaints about romance scams

Scammers who use love to target consumers not only take an emotional toll on their victims, but can also take a financial one as well. New complaint data released today by the Federal Trade Commission shows romance scams generated more reported losses than any other consumer fraud type reported to the agency in 2018.

In the last three years, many more consumers have reported romance scams to the FTC’s Consumer Sentinel database, with much higher total reported losses from those scams, according to the Commission’s latest Consumer Protection Data SpotlightRead more

 
By | February 14, 2019 0 Comments

Love Fraud book excerpt: What I did about my husband’s cheating

Love Fraud book excerptI had been married to James Montgomery for about a year and a half, and he went on overnight and weekend “business trips” the entire time. I didn’t want to think about what he was doing — until I had to.

By Donna Andersen

My husband was cheating on me. The letter from the Bank of Boston credit card department confirmed it.

This was the credit card I had given to James. He spent the money; I paid the bills. On the March statement was a charge for the Berlin Motor Lodge. I knew exactly where this place was and what it looked like. It was a small highway motel on Route 73 in Berlin, New Jersey, 35 … Read more

By | February 11, 2019 0 Comments

Wednesday webinar: Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life

You finally realize that there is something dramatically wrong with your partner. What you really want is to feel better. But how do you go about escaping the sociopath?

That’s what I address in the next webinar of the Lovefraud Understanding and Recovery 5-part Masterclass. The first three programs in the series explained how you got into the situation — the bottom line is that sociopaths are very, very good at what they do, and you were targeted. Now, in the webinar Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life, we’ll be talking about how to move forward. And that’s what you really want.

There are two parts to your recovery — dealing with the practical issues of life, … Read more

By | February 10, 2019 4 Comments

Letter to a sociopathic ex: You ruined me

letter to lovefraudEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Claudette19.”

I hope this letter explains to you all what I have been through and how I am still trying to recover from the impact.

Dear ex

Only by staying away from you did I begin to see your destructiveness and I had to detox from your trauma. For almost 4 years you projected all your anger from your past/present onto me. You did this by calling me a c**t b**h, throwing things at me, charging at me, hurting me, threatening to kill yourself, bullying me and breaking things. You were unpleasant, manipulative and you constantly lied to me. You told me you were the Read more

By | February 8, 2019 0 Comments

Video: After they’re gone, do sociopaths or narcissists return?

The sociopath is gone. Either you were dumped, or you finally threw him or her out. Now what? After they’re gone, do sociopaths or narcissists return?

You may feel like you’re in shock, especially if your sociopathic partner abruptly discarded you, after days, months, or perhaps even years of saying that you were meant for each other.

Or perhaps you finally got up the nerve to end the involvement. Your partner is gone, but your resolve is unsteady. What if he or she showed up again? Can you stand strong?

I address these questions in the newest Lovefraud Lessons video: Do sociopaths return? I explain why sociopaths may return, and what you should do.

To learn more … Read more

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