By | April 14, 2011 4 Comments

Battered wife gets suspended sentence for killing husband

In Australia, a woman who endured 22 years of abuse attempted to “purify” her cheating husband. When he belittled her, the court says, she “snapped” and killed him. The court suspended her sentence.

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Posted in: Laws and courts

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It’s just so sad how these sociopaths brainwash their prey. I call us prey because I have a difficult time with the word victim. For me, being a victim indicates you have the inability to survive, ie… Murder victims… I survived my predator and I am no longer prey for these life force sucking entities that hide among us and call themselves human. These women/men don’t deserve to be punished for defending themselves from their predators. OK so you suffered 20 some odd years of all kinds of physical, emotional, sexual, and mental abuse… You finally had enough and killed him/her before they killed you. Self defense is justifiable homicide NOT manslaughter. There should be NO sentence. These cases are complicated yes but simply after suffering years and years of abuse at the hand of one of these predators don’t you think they’ve suffered enough punishment.

Ox Drover

Do you remember that guy a while back who beheaded his wife as she was trying to leave him? There’s an article here on LF about it somewhere but I can’t remember enough details to search for it….anyway…HE TRIED TO PAINT HIMSELF AS THE VICTIM OF THE ABUSE AND SAID HE DID IT IN SELF DEFENSE. NOT The court (nor anyone else) bought his claims and he was convicted of murder.

It is unfortunate though but many times the abusers are subtle enough that the prey/victim is painted as the abuser and they as the victim….so sometimes who is the victim and who the abuser and are they BOTH co-abusers is the question that is difficult to sort out on sometimes just a “he said, she said” basis.

Also, with 85% of the women who leave abusive relationships going BACK….this lends credence to the “well, all she had to do was leave if she didn’t like the way he treated her”—-the trauma bond is not considered.

So there are so many variables that the “black and white” of it is 100% gray in most cases. And how about “emotional abuse” does that count as abuse “serious enough” to kill someone over, or does it have to be physical abuse? ETc. There are just so many many questions in each individual case.

I wish there was a way to “fine tune” the system and make it FAIR to victims…and justice for the abusers. Heck, I don’t even know all the questions, much less the answers on this one.

At what point can you call it self defense and at what point is it revenge? I wish I knew the answers.


This woman’s story is not too different from many of ours. The only difference is that her culture condoned it. I am guessing that most of the members here had parents, relatives or friends that gave some support. It seems she had none. She tried as hard as she could because there was no option. Like us, she apparently did try to leave, but was always directed back.

According to defense, it was not a revenge murder. She didn’t plot or plan to dispose of him. Like most victims (or “prey”), she was very bonded to him. She was in a heightened state of anxiety and panic because of the revelation of the affair. Her actions and thinking were no longer rational. Magical thinking took over, and she thought she could keep him forever by a ritualistic act. In the end, it was his dismissiveness that made her snap.

How can people glibly say “Why don’t these women just leave?” If they are prepared to support women who leave by giving them protection from post-separation violence and the collusion of the judicial system, then women might just be prepared to take the risk. On the other hand, we are told to leave to protect our children, then we are told we are bad mothers for keeping the children from the same fathers that we had to leave to protect the kids from.

Not long ago, in the same city, an Afghan woman was killed by her husband, who complained of her “becoming too Australian.” She was thinking of leaving him. At that time, I wondered where she got that courage from. One day, I found out from the domestic violence service that I was a client of – she had been their client. So much for leaving and getting support at DV services.

Wow!Did this story ever hit home!It took me “back there”.The things we try to forget!

Not that I’ve ever performed any rituals or even know of any.But I know exactly what it feels like when your mind slips into “magical thinking”!You lose sense of reality.Every day I felt like a zombie,reacting on “auto-pilot”.I remember waking up;instead of being grateful and happy,I was depressed and prayed for the strength to get through yet another day!I fantasized that someone would bust the door down and rescue me from the monster who ruled my life!

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