By | March 9, 2013 15 Comments

California man seduces women on line then robs them

Jeffrey Elvington, 39, of Saugus, CA scammed five or more women he met on dating websites. Pretending to have various professions such as chef, military serviceman and private investigator, he’d seduce the women, gain their trust, and then rob them. Authorities are looking for help from the public to identify any more possible victims.

Phony Casanova is nabbed on Valentine’s Day on

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Further proof that these online dating sites lure sociopaths!


Online dating sites are so very dangerous! Period! The spath-hole husband, while he was still living in the house was so several of these! I’m sure he was on them a long while even prior to me finding out about it! He loved, especially for the adult section, loved AdultFriendFinder, NoStringsAttached, F**kBook, etc, etc. Absolute breeding grounds for predators, and spaths!

I have tried a few of these sites. They’re all jokes. Most of the people on them have this personality disorder and have used up all their prospects in their local area, so they resort to dating sites in hopes that their reputation will not be known by some unsuspecting victim.

I believe with enough exposure of these creepy people, more and more will become educated enough to where they will recognize one of these monsters the minute they see one…

Source: 22 years of dealing with (and defeating) sociopaths.

Ox Drover

learus, loved your articles….thanks for sharing and welcome to LoveFRaud!


Hi everyone, am a longtime follower of this site but have never felt I had anything to add to the discussions that hasn’t already been said. I have had my share of spath relationships but consider myself lucky that a catastrophic life event nipped my 2nd doomed relationship after only 5 years. My first lasted over 20 and the 2nd was a rebound who knew the first and promised never to be like him and treat me that way. Well he didnt. The abuse was different, but the same, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, after the catastrophic life event that allowed me to get away from no.2, helped he didn’t really want me anymore as I was damaged goods. I was able to retire and spent the next 6 years overcoming my many health issues, physical, mental and emotional. I had the help of a qualified and a very good psychiatrist and the support of my teenage/adult children. It was hard and I cried a lot, first in self pity, but eventually in rage and finally with relief. I was reborn and took tentative steps as the strong intelligent woman I always was, just never seemed to show when it came to the men in my life. I was one happy single woman and enjoying my girlfriends and doing all the things I hadn’t done when I was younger having married at 20. I thought that was the life and that I really had it all!

Sometime during my 6th year of recovery I found myself a little less disdaining of attentions I received from the opposite sex, I found myself a little lonely when I turned the light out at night, I felt the need for a hug, not from the kids or grandchildren or GF type, but a hungry hug. I had erotic dreams which shocked me, thought my libidos had gone out the window with menopause.

So, I turned to dating sites. First and ‘met’ a load of screwballs, false profiles (which I reported to match) and had a very few email chats go on for a while before petering out. Only one actual meet, nice man, no spark, lots of same interests, went out a few times, but he wasn’t the one. A little frustrated moved on to eharmony. One of my brothers met his wife there, that was over 10 years ago, so hey…. Mind you the both joined as adults, already past childbearing age, etc.

So, I get matched with a number of people after filling out that long forum they have and meet for coffee with 2 who are really nice, have a lot in common and actually become friends with one, but alas no real spark. It is a long and hard process, you have to be very truthful and watch for the signs that the other match has also been truthful. I was only looking for long term relationships, so anyone who wasn’t got counted out immediately. Finally, I met my match. That happened nearly a year and a half ago and we are very happy and looking forward to a long life together.

I wanted to tell my story after seeing so many negative comments about losers on dating sites and how bad and dangerous they are. Well they can be dangerous but it is up to you to be responsible. Put out a no nonsense profile, nice pictures, and be selective. Use your good sense, I could weed out fake profiles in the first line and sometimes just by the picture.

I purchased one of those throw away pay as you go cell phones, so no one got my real phone number. Had an email address just for the dating site without my full name on it and sometimes even borrowed a car for a first coffee meet. Paranoid, me? Well, maybe just a little hyper vigilant, lol.

I can’t say I wasn’t afraid and didn’t also question my sanity in even looking, but I knew deep down inside it was worth a shot. I knew I deserved to BE loved as much as I had loved in the past and I knew how much love I still had to give. I thought there had to be at least one person out there that could share this with me. I knew I had to try, I knew I had to bare my heart one last time even if it meant getting hurt again, I had to try. But this time I had all the tools, I knew what to look for, thanks also to what I have read here and my personal experience. I got lucky and found my honey bear, he had been single for over a year, so had plenty of time to get over his own past relationships, and we are very happy to have found one another. For me, just to be able to love openly and without fear, well it is exactly how I had always thought a loving relationship was supposed to be and exactly what I have always deserved.

So, if your meeting spaths, jerks or other assorted A-holes on dating sites have first a good look at your profile. What is attracting them? When your profile is new on the free dating sites you will get hundreds of hits anyway just because your new, they haven’t even read your profile most probably. It is a good way to cheaply fine tune your profile though. Make noticeable changes, change key words and see what different types you pick up with those changes.

Apologize, didn’t mean to go on so long, but with all the anti dating site posts I really didn’t want someone on the fence to maybe miss out on an opportunity of a life time. I took the chance and am glad I did. Just be careful and play safe.


Bear, thanks for sharing. I need a little hope for the future. Met my spath on match so I am leary of ever doing that again, but what other means is there for my age? I would def be more aware of fakes and red flags. No more blinders on.


Victims of A L found me, also a victim, to confirm his sociopathy. The one most recent had met A L on a site; married him, was physically and emotionally abused and robbed. The AZ law enforcement did nothing to this man who also presented himself as a physician rigging her medication. Be careful.


I met my current partner on a dating site. We’ve been together nearly 2 years now. He lives locally, I’ve met his parents (a very important point for me as the ex spath told me his mother was dead when she wasn’t) and take his girls out, so it all seems ok at the moment


I had met my ex spath online, and met his family and became close to his kids, as he did mine as well. So I can’t use that as a guide to finding a “normal” person. I don’t even trust my own judgement right now. I would love to date and forget this loser but I gues I am not ready yet.


Mich0101, I have very strong feelings about online dating. I would love to see all online dating “services” shut down, permanently, but that will never happen. People are too lazy and too busy to interact with other human beings, in Real Life. They are quite willing to trust to technology and their own faulty beliefs to find a mate using online resources.

As a strict aside, how would dating someone else cause you to “forget” the loser? You have everything that you need to recover and heal from your experiences – nobody else can cause or be responsible for that healing and recovery except you! 😀

Online life allows for a level of anonymity that human beings have NEVER experienced at any time during the history of mankind. People can tweak and invent ANY profile that they wish to include gender, interests, values, and qualities. The cloak of anonymity is the playground for the toxic and disordered. Oh, no……if I had my way, all dating sites would be permanently shut down. But, people believe that, because THEY are honest and truthful, everyone else will reciprocate, and this is simply not true.

Brightest blessings


Bear, thank you for posting your experiences and you have made a VERY good point: what’s on OUR profile that’s attracting toxic people?! Excellent point and it transcends into Real Life interactions, as well.

Boundaries. Online and in Real Life.

Thanks for posting!

Brightest blessings


Hi Truth, I just want the pain of this whole thing to go away and it would be so nice to have that loving feeling for a normal person. I have been in a huge depression and barely functioning for the last month. I just want to feel good again. I am not used to being alone. It did take time after my divorce but those were all failures, although only one spath. I just want to get it right.


Mich0101, I identify with the feeling of wanting it all to go away. The fact is that the pain doesn’t just go away. Yeah, it sucks and I don’t “like” it, not one little bit. But, it’s a fact, and I have come to accept that I cannot argue the facts.

I’ve spent the last 30 years married to two sociopaths. “Being alone” doesn’t have to be a punishment, Mich0101. The time that you have to yourself, right now, can actually be spent UPON yourself, for once. For once, YOU are the center of your life instead of some demanding, petulant, and malicious man-child!

I completely understand if you are not yet seeing this “being alone” as an opportunity, yet. But, in due time, it will become the most important thing to you – your independence.

It takes time to “get it right.” And, by “it,” if you’re talking about a healthy relationship, “it” only gets right when WE are healthy and in strong recovery. Until that time, vulnerabilities will be a neon sign for ANY predatory human being, whether they’re romantic, platonic, business-related, spiritual……soon enough, it will be ALL ABOUT YOU, and that is the most empowering feeling I’ve ever experienced, personally.

Brightest blessings of encouragement


I’m probably going to be a lone voice of dissent here and that’s okay but blaming dating sites as evil is the same as blaming rock and roll and heavy metal for inciting murder and mayhem. I have run into my share of probable sociopaths on these sites, and in person, what protected me from being scammed and abused was the fact that I have the knowledge I need to protect myself.

Sociopaths and the damage they cause is absolutely a huge issue and heartbreaking for those involved. I often cry reading these stories. But I also know the answer isn’t to close down dating sites, it’s to educate people to the signs so they can avoid these predators. That’s one amazing thing this site does. And I am very, very happy for its existence.

When I hear of a friend whose latest partner seems to display too many of the signs (and the last two women met these guys just out in the world) I send them here. And I advise them to read The Gift of Fear.

What you’re doing here is great work. But wishing dating sites would vanish, one, isn’t practical or going to happen and, two, would just send these people to other places to trawl for victims. Respectfully, place the blame on the perpetrator not on the medium.

What you say is true.Wishing that dating sites would close down is like my mom wishing the tv would quit working so that dad would listen to her,lol!And the fact is,sociopaths always find SOMEWHERE to slither.So it really is about EDUCATION.

Although I would not personally choose online dating,I do have a neice who found her boyfriend that way,and they’re very happy.

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