California man seduces women on line then robs them

Jeffrey Elvington, 39, of Saugus, CA scammed five or more women he met on dating websites. Pretending to have various professions such as chef, military serviceman and private investigator, he’d seduce the women, gain their trust, and then rob them. Authorities are looking for help from the public to identify any more possible victims.

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Bear, thank you for posting your experiences and you have made a VERY good point: what’s on OUR profile that’s attracting toxic people?! Excellent point and it transcends into Real Life interactions, as well.

Boundaries. Online and in Real Life.

Thanks for posting!

Brightest blessings


Hi Truth, I just want the pain of this whole thing to go away and it would be so nice to have that loving feeling for a normal person. I have been in a huge depression and barely functioning for the last month. I just want to feel good again. I am not used to being alone. It did take time after my divorce but those were all failures, although only one spath. I just want to get it right.


Mich0101, I identify with the feeling of wanting it all to go away. The fact is that the pain doesn’t just go away. Yeah, it sucks and I don’t “like” it, not one little bit. But, it’s a fact, and I have come to accept that I cannot argue the facts.

I’ve spent the last 30 years married to two sociopaths. “Being alone” doesn’t have to be a punishment, Mich0101. The time that you have to yourself, right now, can actually be spent UPON yourself, for once. For once, YOU are the center of your life instead of some demanding, petulant, and malicious man-child!

I completely understand if you are not yet seeing this “being alone” as an opportunity, yet. But, in due time, it will become the most important thing to you – your independence.

It takes time to “get it right.” And, by “it,” if you’re talking about a healthy relationship, “it” only gets right when WE are healthy and in strong recovery. Until that time, vulnerabilities will be a neon sign for ANY predatory human being, whether they’re romantic, platonic, business-related, spiritual……soon enough, it will be ALL ABOUT YOU, and that is the most empowering feeling I’ve ever experienced, personally.

Brightest blessings of encouragement


I’m probably going to be a lone voice of dissent here and that’s okay but blaming dating sites as evil is the same as blaming rock and roll and heavy metal for inciting murder and mayhem. I have run into my share of probable sociopaths on these sites, and in person, what protected me from being scammed and abused was the fact that I have the knowledge I need to protect myself.

Sociopaths and the damage they cause is absolutely a huge issue and heartbreaking for those involved. I often cry reading these stories. But I also know the answer isn’t to close down dating sites, it’s to educate people to the signs so they can avoid these predators. That’s one amazing thing this site does. And I am very, very happy for its existence.

When I hear of a friend whose latest partner seems to display too many of the signs (and the last two women met these guys just out in the world) I send them here. And I advise them to read The Gift of Fear.

What you’re doing here is great work. But wishing dating sites would vanish, one, isn’t practical or going to happen and, two, would just send these people to other places to trawl for victims. Respectfully, place the blame on the perpetrator not on the medium.

What you say is true.Wishing that dating sites would close down is like my mom wishing the tv would quit working so that dad would listen to her,lol!And the fact is,sociopaths always find SOMEWHERE to slither.So it really is about EDUCATION.

Although I would not personally choose online dating,I do have a neice who found her boyfriend that way,and they’re very happy.

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