By | December 12, 2012 33 Comments

Canadian woman wants to kill; authorities try to stop her

Kayla Bourque, 22, of Canada, eviscerated her family’s dog and cat, and loved every minute of it. In fact, she fantasizes about killing a homeless person. After serving time for animal cruelty, a judge sets strict probation conditions. Read the story below. Be sure to watch the video interview with the psychologist. What is society to do?

‘Sociopathic’ animal killer to be released on probation, on

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Holy smokes. What to do – what do we as a society do about people like this – she is an overt case but there are enough out there. I’m sick knowing someone eventually will pay the price for the rest of us not being willing or able to stop her. On the other hand – once you have people jailed for pre-crimes you have other very serious problems as well…


Breckgirl, this is one of the most chilling articles that I’ve read about criminals. Yes, the man that threw his infant off of the bridge is a very, very bad human being, but this girl is identified as a psychopath, and there’s nothing that can “legally” be done.

Sadly, she’s done her “time” for animal cruelty, and that’s the end of that, legally speaking. And, her assertions that she wants to kill a homeless person are just that: fantasies. Until she “does something,” she’s just a nasty character. Sad, but true.

What to do? Sheeeeesh…….what CAN be done? Legally, that is?

I think the system missed its window of opportunity. If she had been put into solitary with nothing and nobody’s attention for 6 months, it might have done some good. As it is, she got exactly what she wanted: Attention. When the 3 years is up, she’ll do it again for more attention.

She WANTED to be caught, she was flagrant. She told people; she video taped the crime; her facebook and blogging was to the point. I’m not saying that SHE knows she wanted to be caught. I’m saying that the behavior is all we have to go on because spaths don’t ever tell the truth, (not even to themselves) – EXCEPT WHEN IT’S INTENDED TO DECEIVE YOU ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

Wanting to be caught isn’t about wanting to be stopped nor about being sorry. She just wanted the attention she would get.

It’s very sad that she was a Romanian orphan. Romanian orphanages are infamous for their atrocities. Lots of spaths are made there.


Wow…..brings us right back to the thought of….. we are all ‘sitting ducks’.

So…..what can the authorities/law do….what can we, as a society do.

I guess with our current societal standards and laws currently in effect and (at least) our US Constitution…..arm up folks. People like this are ALL OVER!

Ox Drover

Many of the children who have been adopted from these orphanages are problematic….IF THERE IS ANY FAMILY that is not completely DISORDERED the child would not be in the orphanage in the first place. So the chances of these babies being from “poor” DNA (where ancestors are high in P qualities) is pretty good, and the orphanages have such poor quality care for the children there, and may be a high risk the mother did drugs or alcohol while she was preg with the child, so you have a RECIPE for a “problematic” child and this woman is the PERFECT EXAMPLE of what it produces, in my humble opinion.

What do you do with her BEFORE she kills someone? BY LAW in this country and in Canada and in the UK and other countries there is not the ‘THOUGHT POLICE” and we do not put people in prison for their thinking (except in the cases of a few sex offenders who have served their sentences but are still kept confined) we have to WAIT until a criminal ACTS on a crime.

This woman is a time bomb and she will eventually in my opinion follow through…but unfortunately she won’t be kept supervised for long enough to prevent that happening.


Eighteen children shot, dead. Six adults, shot dead. Gunman dead. Another adult at the gunman’s home, dead.

I am in absolute shock and beyond horrified. I cannot process what was done in Connecticut, today, and I must believe that the shooter did not wake up and make a random decision at 7:20 am to travel to a nearby elementary school and commence to killing children at point-blank-range that were trapped in classrooms.

That a 9 year old child said, “And, I’m happy that we’re all alive.” What the hell kind of world do we live in that a child is happy to be alive after a morning in their classrooms?

Dear God, in Heaven – Jehovah – Yahweh – Vishnui – Great Creator, be with those beautiful, innocent people that perished, today, and with the survivors who are left to grieve for a senseless, insane act of such heinous proportions.

speaking of grown men who want to kill their mothers…
He killed his father in NJ, then went to kill his mom where she taught kindergarten. He killed her and dozens more, mostly babies.

The coward had to kill babies. Why do they always want to hurt children?


Right, that is what I said in another post. Killing his mother and father and himself were bad enough, but the innocent children…why?? They said his girlfriend is missing also…I wonder if he killed her?

He probably had a deep anger that finally just reached a boiling point…definitely planned. This is why I do not like my anger…my anger scares me sometimes.


Also, why go to her school and kill her? He couldn’t wait until she got home? I guess because he apparently WANTED to kill the children. Maybe he was JEALOUS of the children? Perhaps because he didn’t have a good relationship with his mom, he was jealous of the closeness she had with her pupils?


Sorry, looks like he did kill the mom at home. This is crazy.

Ox Drover

Apparently the father is not dead, and I’m not sure WHO was the man taken out of the school in handcuffs that the little boy saw….

the news is reporting stuff that is gossip and not fact….so it may be days before we get the real story.


One thing I do know…they lived in a wealthy community. It will be interesting to hear the true story. So tragic. Now I read the mom was a substitute teacher; she wasn’t even on the staff list. Other than this kid was pure evil and hated children, I still don’t see his motive for going in and killing the children. His brother is saying he had a personality disorder…oh, dear.

Ox Drover

Here is a comment from a news article from the Daily Mail Newspaper–had a “personality disorder”–wonder which one.

Adam Lanza, 20, who is said to have a personality disorder, was carrying a .223 rifle and two handguns when he entered the Sandy Hook Elementary school shortly after 9.30am and started gunning people down – after he shot his mother Nancy, 52, in her face at her nearby home.

Read more:
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


Louise, you typed that you didnt like your anger and somehow associated being angry with the heinous shootings in CT. There is a VAST gulf of difference between righteous anger and “disordered” anger. Learning how to process that real and true emotion is what makes the difference between purging it in a “positive” way, and picking up 4 weapons and deliberately causing the massacre of nearly 30 innocent human beings that had nothing to do with the shooter’s issues.

This is why people engage in “road rage,” as well. For whatever reason, THEY have been “wronged,” and they are going to punish any other driver on the road that makes a mistake or drives a car that they don’t like.

If you remember my story, I attacked the exspath in a fit of rage after his final denial of what he’d been actually doing. That rage was based on a fury that the exspath had perpetrated all manners of betrayal – and, the attack was BEFORE I even learned about the financial frauds!

The final straw was actually reading and printing out the email that the exspath had sent to his bondage playmate that he wasn’t going to be able to attend a very expensive BDS&M party in a nearby city because he had loaned his brother “a substantial sum,” and couldn’t afford to go. This confirmed what I had begun to suspect two months prior to my discovery of his bag of tricks. In the span of 5 weeks, I spoke to the exspath on numerous occasions and told him that he needed to tell me if he had been engaging in extramarital activities if there were even a hope of healing the relationship. Of course, he denied this, over and over.

Righteous anger is normal, Louise. “Disordered” rage is when EVERYONE is going to “pay” for whatever “wrongs” the disordered person believes have been committed. I don’t give a fat rat’s ass about what kinds of “wrongs” the shooter may have felt had been done against him. There is no excuse, diagnosis, or reason to include over two dozen innocent lives in his rampage. He shot those people because HE COULD.

This is why the discussion of anger is SO very important. There are ways to process anger in a healthy way, and anger is another emotions and feeling that is real. To deny it, swallow it back, ignore it, or pretend that the anger doesn’t exist is VERY unhealthy and dangerous.

I would like to see more discussion about how to process righteous anger. Donna suggested punching a pillow, and others have suggested smashing raw eggs against a tree. But, whatever SAFE method that someone uses to get that venom out, it’s vital that it is processed.

Then, there’s the feeling of “GUILT” that I was angry at the exspath. Now, how my righteous anger caused me to feel “guilty” is very simple: shame-core. I did not believe that I had any right to feel anything, including anger. Emotions were never validated as a child and, again, in the first abusive marriage. So, FEELING anything resulted in more pain. So, instead of expressng my emotions, I ate them up and replaced a healthy expression with an eating disorder.

Hugs and brightest blessings



You are right. I would like to clarify that I would never hurt innocent children or adults for that matter because of my anger. I would only target those who deserved it! 🙂

Nope, never…it’s not in me to hurt people who are innocent or didn’t do anything to me. I guess I’ve done an OK job of processing my anger so far.

I also used to feel somewhat guilty over feeling angry like I didn’t have a right. Not anymore. Even Jesus got angry in the temple. It’s a valid emotion when it is directed and handled in the correct way.

It is VERY dangerous to deny and swallow anger. I’m thinking that is what happened in CT. That kid obviously had some deep anger towards his mother. We will probably never know why he killed the children though. So sad and tragic. So senseless.

Thanks so much for your post.


Louise, I used to believe that I would never physically harm another human being until the day that I snapped. It doesn’t matter why I lost control, or whether it was righteous anger, or whether I was suffering PMS, or whether I simply ate a stale bagel that morning.

What I learned about my actions of that day was that I lost control. I wouldn’t intentionally harm another human being, but I know that my inability to process my anger at the exspath’s betrayals led to my physical attack against him after his final lie. My counseling therapist tried to explain that I had been pushed beyond my limit of endurance, and I will agree with that to some degree. Even with evidence in my hand of his choices, the exspath STILL tried to lie his way out of the truth. SNAP!

But, I am resopnsible for my vulnerabilities in this situation, Louise. I once believed that I would NEVER harm someone else, and that proved to be a false believe. Today, I understand myself somewhat better, and I know that anyone can react with violence if they are as damaged as I was. This doesn’t make me a “bad person.” It just makes me a human being that has a choice to learn better methods of processing my own emotions and feelings.

Brightest blessings



Again, great post!


We do have a status in the Canadian criminal code that can be accorded a criminal, that will keep them behind bars forever – it is called the Dangerous Offender status. Paul Bernardo has this status. Unfortunately Homolka is off spawning and raising new victims.

There are few people labelled in this way. I think its a good legislation poorly used. There is definitively a gender bias in labeling someone a Dangerous Offender – men are labelled, women are not.

Here’s an exception. Although not a very well written article, the following shows a flagrant misunderstanding in the system of what a (female) spath looks like – but her words and actions speak for themselves.

Kayla Bourque will have to ‘earn’ the designation. it’s all just so terribly sad.

Ox Drover

Truthy, you make a good point about “righteous” anger versus out of control RAGE. The Bible talks about “fathers provoke not your children to wrath” and I always just thought wrath was just ANGER but if you look at Websters it is defined as “strong, vengeful anger” and synonyms are furor, indignation, ire, lividity, outrage–it is in short, anger that is festering, vengeful, hateful and rage fueled.

Sometimes parents can provoke their children to that kind of wrath, or spouses, or even friends….and it is not a good thing. If the person who is “provoked” gives in to the rage all kinds of bad things can happen.

Righteous anger however, I think goads us to make changes….and that is a good thing.


OxD, thanks. There is a huge difference between feeling “angry” and experiencing full-on rage, and I can say that rage is the most terrifying of all reactions that I could ever have imagined.

I had always believed myself to be one who was “in control” of my own emotions, but this is clearly not the case. I would choke back my anger, ALWAYS, because “anger is wrong” and it was always associated with “hate.” By choking back righteous anger – the feeling I experienced when someone did something that was clearly wrong – the anger would develop into resentment.

I choked back my anger because I truly believed that I never had a “right” to feel angry. The first abusive exspath taught me that my anger was a source of amusement and entertainment – that FEELING of having been “wronged” or hurt was simply nullified. That feeling of righteous anger and indignation at being beaten or raped was dismissed. Therefore, ANY feeling that I had was dismissed.

A fit of rage is something that I had heard tell of previous to my own experience. When people say, “I saw RED,” I always thought that was a metaphorical description of just how angry they had become. Oh, my….when the words, “…mind games…” issued from the hole in the exspath’s face, the curtain of red came down over my eyes and I completely lost control. RAGE is a visceral, primal experience that I never wish to have, again.

The one “good” thing that I learned from my personal experience with RAGE was that I had a “right” to feel and express my anger at the exspath’s choices, and I should have expressed those emotions in a “healthy” manner, rather than choking them back and allowing them to boil into a full-blown fit.

What happened with me is similar to what happens to an aluminum saucepan that’s left on a burner too long. The water boils away, and then the pot, itself, melts on the burner.

Of course, there are many, many people (therapist, included) that responded, “Well, don’t you think he kinda deserved it?” Maybe. But, I was horribly, horribly ashamed of what I had done, whether I had been pushed beyond my boundary of endurance, or not.

So, I would like to see more discussion on managing and expressing anger. Anyone who has experienced a sociopathic entanglement feels anger – it’s NORMAL, for crying out loud, and former victims SHOULD feel that anger and express it so that they don’t experience a meltdown like I did.

Brightest blessings

Ox Drover

Truthy, I had a “minister of the Gospel” tell me tat anger was a sin. FUNNY thing, his Bible and mine must have been different because JESUS SAID: “BE YE ANGRY AND SIN NOT.” Which says to me tat ANGER, righteous anger is OK but it doesn’t give us an EXCUSE to fly off the handle. Even Jesus himself was ANGRY. He ACTED on the anger and drove the money changers out of the Temple with a whip. I am betting that he was REALLY angry, and he ACTED to fix the wrong that was going on.

So when we see things that are WRONG we need to ACT. Not necessarily get a whip, but we need to do what is needed to fix or help fix the problem, not just turn away and ignore it. If we see political corruption, we need to work on getting that person out of office, if we see someone being bullied, we need to defend them, or call the cops, whatever is the appropriate “fix.” I know we can’t fix the entire world, but we just don’t need to turn our backs on INJUSTICE and “Sin” if that makes any sense.

ANGER drove Donna to start Love Fraud—anger at being scammed and wanting to educate others. ANGER (and some fear mixed in) got me to hire an attorney to fight Patrick’s parole and keep him in prison as long as possible—who knows, maybe for his entire life. Anger is a change maker because it shows us we don’t like the status quo so we need to get busy and fix it. Make changes. That’s what LF is about…making the CHANGES in ourselves that result in HEALING.


truthy – it’s a journey of learning to understand and forgive ourselves. to know what is ethically right for us, and ensuring that we tend and develop our boundaries – with others, and ourselves.

I recently snapped. i didn’t hurt anyone physically. but a ‘professional’ got a shock when i responded to his bullying in a verbally aggressive way. i have stepped up my PTSD treatment since I was given the cancer diagnosis – as I knew i was tweaked. Even so, my response to bullying behaviour during this time has been to react in an aggressive manner. i am somewhat ambivalent about my behaviour. bullies should be brought down – but in a way that doesn’t harm me spiritually. the way i look at it is – stop someone from abusing me, and then figure out how to do it in a less harmful way. it’s a process. but i cannot allow it to happen anymore. yes, not fully in control of myself, but well enough to say, hell no to being abused by others. I am sorting through these incidents one at a time, and having good talks with myself about them, and my goals for communication – what is radical and right is that i am not allowing the abuse. I’ll get to wisdom eventually. rising up and saying hell no is a very big step. i am scrappy as hell in my advocacy for careful and competent medical care. it’s like any other challenge since the spath – it’s a learning process. right now i am pretty wild. i know that. and i work to understand that and unwind the reactivity and practice other ways.

i hope i understand your quest properly – you want to be humane and do not accept your past responses as the way you wish to go forward. I think what i am learning is that I, who mattered less than others to me, now matter more. i am still a kid with a new understanding and the emo reactions of a wounded one – but I am acknowledging and reacting to the abuse of my external boundaries. I now need to get to my internal boundaries. i do have to accept that i am not always a nice person. and that this looks pretty outrageous sometimes, and is. it’s a moral quandry at the moment, but i believe that i will sort it. some people will be shocked or hurt in the process. i no longer put ugly people, or people being ugly before me. i have snapped in a long and hopefully enduring way. I feel compassion for myself. I will learn how to deal with bad people in a way that leaves me at peace with myself. it will take some time. it will be messy. I have broken my own moral standards. but maybe they were too tight, because they were made when i niavely believed in the goodness of all people.

wisdom will come, because i will work for it.


hi folks – recovering from surgery. long haul. given the results of the surgery and other tests they are now saying that it is NOT cancer. i am now waiting for a definitive diagnosis for a lung fungal infection. while treatable, the drugs are as nasty as chemo. so yay, it’s not cancer, and boo, it’s still not good. thanks for all your good wishes.


ONEJOY……….Omigod, I”m grateful that it’s not cancer, but I don’t like that “…it’s still not good.” Your healing and recovery are in my most fervent positive energies.

And, yes….I never want to be “that person,” again. Righteous anger has its place and can be expressed in a healthy manner. RAGE, on the other hand, is dangerous, volatile, and never ends well.

Brightest, brightest blessings to you

Lone Wolf

One Joy

How fortunate, having not had the chance to be on here much lately, to happen upon your post.

And how interesting given that we both have had the false initial diagnosis!

Still as you say the fungal lung thing sounds no walk in the park, so you can be assured of my continued prayers re: your treatment and recovery. Know also I am thinking of you and wishing you well even when I am not on here.

My loving thoughts also to Shalom and C Queen if they see this.

My thought on the anger thing – if a person is even thinking of, and worried about, whether they may cause lasting harm as a result of their anger, it is almost certain that they won’t! (as they are showing a) self-awareness and b) concern for others/possible guilt. No troubling or spathy traits to be found – move along there please, nothing to see. 🙂 )



hi truthy, thank you.

lone wolf – i think you are correct – if we are working on it, there isn’t much to be concerned about.


Merry Christmas and all the best to everyone for a great 2013!


OneJoy….Brightest blessings to you this Season and may your 2013 be a year of health and healing.

And for all who are still suffering and grieving, peace and comfort be with you. You’re not alone, even if you feel that you are.

Love and peace



Ox Drover

That is VERRRRRRY disturbing….Child pornography she had was not prosecuted? WTF????

Adopted from an orphanage at age 8 months makes me think she may have had some poor DNA to start wiith and got off to a rocky start as an infant even if she had a nurturing adoptive home.

Her mother has apparently given up on her as well.

I hope that she is closely supervised but I have little doubt that however closely it is won’t be enough to keep her from doing something pretty bad iin the future. I’m with Truthy, UGH!!!!!


OxD……….all I can type is: ugh; ew; and eugh

There was someone in my State that was sentenced to 1 year for shooting a yellow lab because she felt threatened. Shot him dead, and that was the harshest sentence that could be dealt. I forget what her response was, but I just don’t get it. If people can harm animals with no remorse, that’s the stepping-stone to abuse and harm of mankind.


Ox Drover

Not all psychopaths are animal abusers, some are and some aren’t but this woman sounds like a pure psychopath to me, but like Patrick, a stoopid one, telling others about her desires.

It is almost like they must have an AUDIENCE in order for the horrible things they do to be “real.”

Some psychopaths do bad thiings in secret and never brag about what they have done, but others seem to think what they do is exciting and they want to share that excitement with others. They don’t “get it” that their twisted desires are not ALSO the same as other people feel and desire. They are devoid of the awareness of other people’s thinking if that makes any sense. Like her showing videos of her killing the dog and cat to the other woman. She didn’t “get it” that the other woman would be repulsed. Patrick doesn’t get it that most people are repulsed by the things he did/does. Spending 20+ years in prison where he has nothing but other disordered people to interact with who DO enjoy the same twisted things he does hasn’t helped him any.

My opinion is that locking people up with others just like them doesn’t teach them anything productive, but it DOES keep them off the streets where they can’t commit more crimes so is beneficial to society as long as they are locked up. Unfortunately the system encourages the families to take these dysfunctional or disordered people back into their homes and families.

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