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Donna Andersen

Donna Andersen explain sociopaths and how they hook people in a new podcast

What is a sociopath? Why do people fall for them? How does the mental health profession diagnose them? And how can everyone protect themselves from these human predators? Donna Andersen answers all of these questions — and more — in her most recent interview.

Donna was a guest on MyNDTALK, hosted by Dr. Pamela Brewer. This hour-long interview is packed with information to help you understand sociopaths and how they affect their targets. Click the link below to listen or download the interview.

MyNDTALK – Love Fraud – Donna Andersen

5 steps to get the sociopath out of your head

(David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

I once heard from a woman whom we’ll call “Rochelle.” When Rochelle was in her 50s, through a high school reunion, she reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. Rochelle had a crush on him when she was 14. They dated for almost five years, although he always seemed to have an eye out for other girls. When they broke up, Rochelle was heartbroken, but she moved on, married, divorced, and life was reasonably good—until that first love came back into her life.

11 Answers to questions about sociopaths

Man with maskI heard from Lovefraud reader who realizes that she’s been in a relationship with a sociopath. She’s in the phase of trying to wrap her brain around about what these people are, and sent me the following email:

What happens to these people?  These sociopaths?  How do they end up in life?  Do they just go from victim to victim?  Have any of them ever realized the affliction of which they suffer?  Do they ever realize they are not capable of love?  If they are not capable of love, they will never be happy, right?  So…you could present “Red Flags of Love Fraud” to a sociopath and they would not see themselves in it, correct?  Do they ever see the error of their ways?  There is a rather cryptic site called Narcissism Cured, but that doesn’t seem to be possible.

Women aged 40-70: Be on the lookout for Internet predators like Tom Guida

Tom Guida, of Toms River, New Jersey, was accused of bigamy, but got away with it.

More than two years ago, Lovefraud posted about Tom Guida, age 55, of New Jersey. This guy is unbelievable. He finds women online, tells them he is a Ph.D. psychologist (lie), Special Operations military (lie), and suffering from brain cancer (lie).

He tells the women he loves them (lie) and then proposes marriage. He doesn’t tell them he is already married (truth). In fact, he’s a bigamist.

Here’s the Lovefraud story:

Tom Guida, aka Tom Gatto – fake psychologist, fake Special Forces, fake brain cancer patient – gets away with bigamy

10 things sociopaths want from you (besides money)

Photo by David Castillo Dominici

A Lovefraud reader asked the following question:

If the sociopath is not in it for money (he pays for everything with no access to my accounts) then what are other reasons to stay in a relationship if he doesn’t live with me nor do we share anything financially? Many of the posts I have read involve financial fraud.

If a sociopath has targeted you, it’s because you have something that he or she wants. Often it’s money, but not always. Here are 10 more things that the sociopath may want:

1. Sex

How long does it take to recover from a sociopath?

Pensive woman

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When I talk to people who have had their hearts broken into a million pieces by a sociopath, a question that I’m frequently asked is, “How long does it take to recover?”

I wish there were an easy answer to the question, but there isn’t. Involvements with sociopaths cause serious damage to our emotions, psychology, health, finances, social connections — to our very lives.  What I can say is that recovery is certainly possible, but it will probably take longer than a typical breakup.

Not breakup — betrayal

Why is recovery from a sociopath so difficult? Because this is NOT a typical breakup — it is a profound betrayal.

Posted in: Donna Andersen

Grateful for the truth on Thanksgiving

Photo by Jack Moreh

I remember the last Thanksgiving holiday with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery.

We were fighting. He kept telling me money would come in from his business venture, and it wasn’t happening. As we drove to my family’s house for Thanksgiving dinner, I was still steaming. The thought popped into my head, “All I want is my money back, and then I’ll get a divorce.”

I surprised myself. It was the first time I thought about divorce.

I never did get my money back. In fact, with all that was taken from me, I had to declare bankruptcy. Still, on this Thanksgiving Day 19 years later, I have much to be grateful for.

Posted in: Donna Andersen

5 stages of endurance to help you recover from the sociopath

Sociopaths do terrible things to us. I hear so many painful stories from Lovefraud readers — perhaps you have a similar experience:

  • You may have had your heart shattered into a million pieces
  • You may have lost your home, your job and all your money
  • You may have suffered physical assault, illness, and emotional or psychological breakdown
  • You who have lost your children, because the sociopaths got custody, poisoned the kids’ minds, or both
  • You may who have lost years of your life, time that can never be replaced

After getting rid of one sociopath, another sociopath shows up

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I’ve heard from multiple Lovefraud readers over the years who were annoyed, angry, horrified. These readers had finally realized what they were dealing with—a sociopath. They extricated themselves from the relationships and had no further contact with the disordered individuals. And what happened? Another sociopath came into their lives.

The readers asked: What is going on? Why can’t they leave me alone? Am I a sociopath magnet?

The answer is, not necessarily. Following are some observations to add perspective to the situation.

Millions of sociopaths

These disordered individuals are everywhere. As long as we’re living on this planet, we face the possibility of running into them.

Devin Kelley, Texas church shooter, exhibited a pattern of psychopathic behavior, but no one saw the whole picture

Devin Kelley

The stories coming out of the massacre in the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, are horrific and heartbreaking.

The shooter, Devin Patrick Kelley, 26, walked into the church dressed in combat gear and killed congregants in the pews.  One survivor reported that Kelley became enraged that children were scared, and shot them multiple times.

Kelley executed 26 people that day, including nine children. Eight members of one extended family were killed. Twenty more churchgoers were injured.

Authorities release IDs of Texas church victims, on ABCnews.go.com

Afterwards, of course, everyone is asking, “How did this happen?” “Were there any warning signs?”

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