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Donna Andersen

9 Questions to help you discern if your caring, helpful partner is faking it

overcoming numbness

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She makes you drinks and home-cooked meals. He cuts your lawn and fixes your car. Your new romantic interest just can’t seem to do enough for you. You never felt so cared for. It must be love!

Maybe it is. Or maybe it’s a sociopath who is trying to soften you up for later exploitation.

I’ve often written on Lovefraud that sociopaths do not have the ability to be caregivers. Many readers find this confusing — the sociopath they know was always doing things for them. So let me explain.

First, some background.

Three components of romantic love

‘Alertas Rojas de Estafa Amorosa’ ha sido seleccionado para ‘Mes Indie’ en Amazon!

Amazon quiere celebrar el fenómeno de la autopublicación por todo lo alto, por lo que estan organizando el “Mes Indie”, una promoción especial de libros Kindle en español que celebran mundialmente del 1 al 31 de octubre.

“Alertas rojas de estafa amorosa — 10 señales de que estás saliendo con un sociópata”, por Donna Andersen, ha sido seleccionado para la promoción.

Este libro revela, por primera vez, las tácticas de los depredadores sociales que buscan relaciones sentimentales no por amor, sino para explotación. Este libro explica cómo los sociópatas seducen a sus víctimas, por qué es difícil escapar de las relaciones, y cómo las personas pueden protegerse.

5 reasons why antisocials are great actors

Man with maskLast week Lovefraud published an article by Eleanor Cowan entitled, When sociopaths use righteous indignation to exert control. In it, Eleanor relates how her fiance twisted her comment about a pedophile priest into an opportunity to establish his moral superiority over her. The fiance, of course, was disordered and a pedophile himself, but Eleanor didn’t know it at the time. He convinced her that he was a righteous, religious man.

A Lovefraud reader commented on the post:

Donna Andersen on BlogTalkRadio Sunday, Oct. 8 at 8 pm ET

I’ll be interviewed on Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives talk show on Sunday, Oct. 8 at 8 pm ET. Bonnie counsels straight women who have discovered, to their shock, that their husbands are engaging in gay sex.

People tend to think that the men who do this are gay, but haven’t come to terms with their sexuality. Sometimes that’s the case, but often the husbands are sociopaths who will have sex with anyone.

I’ve done Bonnie’s show before, and the discussion tends to be wide-ranging. So listen in! And if you have a question, feel free to call in!

Women allegedly betrayed by philandering Air Force colonel petition for official investigation – you can help!

Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Military officers are held to a higher standard of behavior than the general public. Military law criminalizes “conduct unbecoming of an officer” such as adultery — that is, if the law is enforced.

One woman thought she was in a genuine romantic relationship with a lieutenant colonel in the Air National Guard — also a doctor — until three years later when she learned that she was just one of many. She says the lieutenant colonel used “military assignments” as excuses to juggle the women. She says he even rotated the women at Air National Guard events, and none of his fellow officers called him out.

Bikers protect kids who must testify against abusers

Guardians of the Children is a biker organization that protects victims of child abuse. When a child must testify agains an abuser in court, the bikers escort the child to the courthouse, keep the child surrounded, and sit in the courtroom during the testimony. Their actions make the children feel protected.

This organization is based in San Antonio, Texas, and has chapters in 20 states. I would like to see them everywhere.

More information:

Guardians of the Children

Stephen Paddock, the Las Vegas shooter, and his psychopathic father

Stephen Paddock, the Las Vegas shooter.

Here’s the big question after the horrible massacre in Las Vegas: Why?

Sunday night, Stephen Paddock, from his room on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Casino, started shooting at the 22,000 people attending a country music concert. From his elevation, and with automatic weapons, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. A total of 59 people were killed and more than 500 wounded. It is the worst mass shooting in recent American history.

Stephen Paddock, 64, is the son of Benjamin Hoskins Paddock who robbed two banks between 1959 and 1960. He was sentenced to 20 years in prison in 1961 — but escaped in 1968.

What I learned about trauma from my dog

Bo in my office. His tail is blurry because he is wagging it.

My husband and I adopted a five-year-old rescue dog, Bo, in July of 2016. I wrote about him when we brought him home, which you can read here:

My new dog offers a lesson in letting go, on Lovefraud.com.

Bo has been living us for over a year now, and he is an absolute joy. When I’m working, Bo usually spends the day snoozing on his cushion on the floor beside me. His internal clock tells him when it’s time for his walk, and he gets all excited — he loves going out. Who is he going to meet this time? Bo wants to approach every human, dog and even an occasional cat that happens to be along his route.

Think of sociopaths as aliens — it may help you understand them

Image courtesy of hyena reality at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us.

I’ve spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask,

“But how could he do it?”
“He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?”
“He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?”
“How can he be so cold and calculating?”
“How can he look me right in the eye and lie?”
(Substitute “she” for “he” as necessary.)

Did football star and murderer Aaron Hernandez have a personality disorder or a brain injury?

Aaron Hernandez

Aaron Hernandez

In 2013, Aaron Hernandez, the former standout tight end for the New England Patriots football team, was charged with murdering his friend. Hernandez had a history of violence and infractions with the law, so his behavior appeared to be that of a typical psychopath. For this reason, Lovefraud covered the story:

Aaron Hernandez charged with murder; his cousin charged with contempt, on Lovefraud.com.

Hernandez was found guilty of the murder on April 15, 2015 and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Two years later, at the age of 27, he hanged himself in prison.

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