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Donna Andersen

To survive a sociopath, we sometimes act like a sociopath

act like a sociopathI almost didn’t recognize myself. There I was, plotting with my cheating husband’s mistress to steal money from his bank account.

Before I married James Montgomery, I never would have considered such an action.  But after he convinced me to blow $227,000 on his ridiculous business schemes, and after I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam, I was angry, broke and desperate. I did what I had to do to survive a sociopath (although at the time, I didn’t know he was a sociopath).

Maybe because of your own entanglement with a sociopath, you’ve found yourself doing things that you never, ever did before. This happened to “Stevie2018,” who just posted her story in the Lovefraud Read more

Love Fraud book excerpt: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath)

Love Fraud book excerptBy Donna Andersen

I met James Montgomery online in 1996. Although he was originally from Sydney, Australia, he moved to New Jersey and lived about a half-hour from my home. After corresponding for a month, we met for breakfast:

My scrambled eggs arrived—James only ordered coffee. “So you’ve worked in Hollywood?” I asked.

“Yes, I was one of the founders of the cable channel, Movietime. Later the channel was sold to Time Warner and became E! Entertainment Television. When I was there, our concept was to make Movietime interactive. But this was back in the late ’80s—we were ahead of our time.

“I also did some screenwriting—I have credits for Crocodile Dundee II. The Crocodile Dundee movies were … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen

As Valentine’s Day approaches: Why was I betrayed by the sociopath?

When you’re single, Valentine’s Day is rough. I know, because from my teenage years through age 40, I never had a romance going on Valentine’s Day. I was lonely, and loneliness sets you up as a fat, juicy target for a sociopath.

The commercialization of the holiday doesn’t help. When you’re “between relationships,” all the advertising for jewelry, flowers and special restaurant menus is painful — a constant reminder that romance is missing from your life.

When I was alone, I couldn’t figure it out. I was reasonably attractive, nice, considerate, successful, active and loved to have fun. What was the problem? Why couldn’t I get a date?

So there I was, single and about to turn 40, … Read more

Interview: Donna Andersen on spotting and recovering from sociopaths

What are the warning signs that partner may be a sociopath? If you realize that you’re already involved with a sociopath, how do you escape and recover?

Donna Andersen answers these questions about spotting and recovering from sociopaths — and more — in the IndoctriNation podcast, hosted by Rachel Bernstein. Rachel is a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in helping people trapped in cults, and a relationship with a sociopath is just like being in a cult.

In the beginning of the interview, Donna describes the upcoming Lovefraud Understanding and Recovery 5-part Masterclass, a series of webinars that begins on January 30. Then she talks about typical control tactics sociopaths employ, parental alienation, and more.

Listen to … Read more

Legal Abuse Syndrome: the result of facing sociopaths in court

Legal Abuse SyndromeBook review — Legal Abuse Syndrome: A Preventable Public Health Problem, by Dr. Karin Huffer

Review by Donna Andersen

You’re traumatized by your experience with a sociopath. Then you face a divorce, child custody or some other court battle against the sociopath — and you’re traumatized all over again.

The sociopath lies about you, smears your reputation and makes false accusations against you. So do his or her attorneys. And the clueless judge allows all of it.

Thirty years ago, Dr. Karin Huffer, a marriage and family therapist, witnessed this phenomenon among her clients. No matter what she did to help them, they kept getting worse. Then she realized that everything she did for them was being … Read more

Tribute to Karin Huffer, author of Legal Abuse Syndrome

The survivor community lost a shining star recently with the passing of Karin Huffer, who wrote Legal Abuse Syndrome: A preventable public health problem. She also pioneered the use of the Americans with Disabilities Act to help people dealing with sociopaths, narcissists and psychopaths get a fair hearing in court.

Through her consulting practice, Karin personally accompanied her clients to court to help them stand up against manipulative sociopaths, whom she called “power centered individuals.” Despite the fact that she was a very senior citizen and needed a walker to get around, she was absolutely indomitable in court, protecting her clients against lies, smear campaigns, and power plays from the opposing parties.

But one person can … Read more

“I encountered a serial killer and escaped”

Kylr Yust (Facebook)

Kylr Yust (Facebook)

In response to a question on Quora, a writer called “Frances Red” said yes, she had escaped a serial killer, and told the story about her ex-boyfriend, Kylr Yust:

Out of nowhere he bashed my head into the dashboard, zip tied my throat to the back of his seat, and forced himself upon me. I was traumatized, all these years we had been friends and he has never even so much as raise his voice at me now all the sudden he is beating the living crap out of me and stealing a big part of my innocence and Trust. After he was finished he Release Me From the zip tie that was around my

Read more

About Lovefraud.com — new index of features and resources

Lovefraud offers you a multitude of features and resources, and now you can find an index of them on our new About Lovefraud.com page.

The page includes links to:

  • Lovefraud’s FREE checklist — is your partner a sociopath, narcissist or psychopath?
  • What’s a sociopath? — the information you really need to know.
  • Webinars for survivors and mental health professionals
  • And much more!

Please visit the new About Lovefraud.com page. It’s located in the red navigation bar on a laptop, and the black navigation bar on a phone. Maybe there are features and resources you haven’t discovered.

About Lovefraud.com

Plus, Lovefraud has gone back to our roots — displaying blog articles on the home page. A couple of years … Read more

Why sociopaths can’t love

caregivingOne winter, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I traded colds. I got sick first, and Terry made chicken soup and did what he could to make me feel comfortable.

Then, despite my best efforts to keep my germs to myself, Terry got sick.

By this time I was feeling better. So I went to the store and bought cold medicine, tissues and orange juice, because I’d used everything up. I made him chicken soup. I even made him a pot of chili.

As I did all this, I noticed a warm feeling within me.

It was the joy of taking care of someone I loved. I was concerned about his health and wellbeing. I was happy and energized … Read more

29 excuses that sabotage our instincts about sociopaths

Almost all of us have an instinctive warning that something is terribly wrong early in an involvement with a sociopath (antisocial, narcissist, borderline, histrionic, psychopath). Almost all of us ignore the warning.

Last week I wrote about the physical symptoms that we often feel in 8 ways your body warns you about sociopaths. I included fear, chills, difficulty breathing, crying, pounding heart, upset stomach, nightmares and a nagging feeling. The post was widely shared, and several Lovefraud readers added more physical warning signs: immobilizing exhaustion, poor appetite, nervous tension, tiredness, cloudy thinking, vague upset, tightness in the chest.

When we’re involved with a predator, our bodies desperately try to get out attention to warn us of the danger. … Read more

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