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Donna Andersen

Watch online: He Lied About Everything

Dr. Paolo Macchiarini.

I just watched the documentary He Lied About Everything, available online at InvestigationDiscovery.com. It’s the story of Benita Alexander, who as a NBC News producer, was seduced and scammed by Dr. Paolo Macchiarini, a world-famous surgeon.

I think Benita was incredibly brave in telling her story. While the good doctor was love bombing her, they both recorded plenty of videos. Benita, I’m sure, thought she was recording her fairytale romance. I don’t know what was in Macchiarini’s mind, because he obviously knew his whole involvement was a fake, so essentially what he recorded was evidence of his psychopathy.

Advice for dating again after the sociopath

Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as “Saskgirl:”

I must say that your website is a lifesaver. It has helped me recover from a devastating relationship with a sociopath. It is amazing how many stories I read on your site and can totally identify with them. The people could be talking about the piece of garbage I was tangled up with.

I have been single for about a year and a half and have spent a lot of that time healing and working on me. I am ready to start dating (I think) but I’m afraid that it will be disastrous for me. I was so emotionally wrecked that I’m terrified of being there again. I don’t trust anyone and believe that just about every thing coming out of a man’s mouth is lies.

Woman talks of escaping Danueal Drayton, possible Tinder serial killer

Danueal Drayton, 27, was arrested on suspicion of brutally slaying a nurse from Queens, New York, whom he met on Tinder. He was arrested while holding another woman hostage in North Hollywood, California, and confessed to six other slayings.

Zynea Barney, 26, said she met him last November. Her description of their involvement reveals multiple strategies typically employed by sociopaths:

  • Continuous pursuit
  • Asking about her goals and dreams
  • Interested in what she had to say
  • Pretended to have similarities
  • Constant contact
  • When she broke it off, he begged her to take him back

Forget the checklist — after the sociopath pay attention to how YOU feel in a new relationship

When you’re romantically involved with a sociopath, sooner or later your entire relationship falls apart. The level of destruction may differ, but the bottom line is the same for all of these involvements: There never was a relationship — everything you thought you had was built on lies.

You’re devastated. But if you follow Lovefraud’s advice and allow yourself sufficient time to process and recover from the experience, eventually another opportunity for romance will come your way. Still, you may feel gun shy. You were completely deceived before. How can you be sure it won’t happen again?

Pain as motivation for escaping the sociopath

A couple of weeks ago, I posted an article entitled, How to overcome your addiction to sociopaths. In it, I offered three steps for changing a pattern of falling in love with sociopaths. The steps are:

  1.  No Contact with the current sociopath
  2. Do not date anyone for the time being
  3. Heal the vulnerabilities

The real work is in the third step — healing your vulnerabilities. What I suggest sounds somewhat like the good advice that we get on many topics, like:

  • Eat your vegetables
  • Make time for regular exercise
  • Cut down on sugar, carbs and alcohol

Dr. James Kauffman: military fraud and drug dealer, hired a hit man to murder his wife

A few weeks ago, ABC 20/20 broadcast a show about the murder of April Kauffman in 2012. Last year, her husband, Dr. James Kauffman, was charged with hiring a hit man to shoot her in their home. In January, James Kauffman hanged himself while in prison awaiting trial.

The crime took place in Linwood, New Jersey, which is practically in my back yard, so I’ve been reading the news coverage for years. I began to suspect that the good doctor was a psychopath early on — when he remarried shortly after his wife’s death and tried to collect on her insurance policy.

5 Reasons why the sociopath’s behavior in your relationship makes no sense

Shock. Confusion. Disbelief. These are common experiences when you’re romantically involved with a sociopath.

You ask yourself, or your friends, or your therapist, questions like:

  • “How can he be talking about getting married one day and ghost me the next?”
  • “How can she be so mean and cruel and then act like nothing ever happened?”
  • “How can he tell me that he loves me while he’s cheating with someone else?”

Sociopathic behaviors are so confusing because your expectations about what a romantic relationship is, and how people who are supposed to be in love treat each other, are totally different from those of the sociopath.

How to overcome your addiction to sociopaths

Photo by Merelize at FreeRange Stock Photos.

Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we’ll call “Peggy Sue.”

I feel hopeless. I’m a target for sociopaths, or I’m addicted to them. My ex-fiancé was one. I was with him 7 years and was abused every way possible. I was so confused with the lies and double life. He said I was crazy and I went on tons of medication and was completely isolated.

I finally was able to leave after 7 years with the help of police, only to move back to my dads with nothing and to start all over. A month later fell in love with another sociopath. My friends and family think I’m gonna end up dead by him or killing myself.

Letter to Lovefraud: I’m looking on POF, but I’m scared to move forward

A Lovefraud reader found this ad on POF.

Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who gives her pseudonym as “Erica.”

I’ve been in love with a sociopath for 5 and a half years. He lives in Portland and I live here in Vegas so that has been a great thing, however he still haunts me and I’m trying to move on so I’m enclosing a profile from an online dating site and I’d like to get your opinion of the things that he says. I’m scared to move forward because I’m scared that I’ll attract another one. I seem to be surrounded by narcissism and sociopathy and I’m tired and I’m scared and I lack trust to move forward. Donna please share my email on lovefraud.com so that I can get some feedback from other members.

Annapolis shooter Jarrod Ramos—something’s wrong, but he may not be a sociopath

Jarrod W. Ramos (Anne Arundel Police)

On Thursday, Jarrod W. Ramos, 38, burst into the offices of the Capital Gazette newspaper in Annapolis, Maryland and shot five employees dead.

This tragic situation began as a stalking case. Here are the details: In 2009, Ramos found a former high school classmate on Facebook. The woman didn’t remember Ramos, but Googled him, discovered they were, in fact, classmates, and she was cordial to him. Ramos escalated, began stalking her, and the woman finally pressed charges. Ramos pleaded guilty to criminal harassment and received 90-day suspended sentence and 18 months of probation.

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