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Donna Andersen

The gift of understanding and recovery — a 5-part Lovefraud Masterclass

Feel better in the New Year! Starting in January, I’ll be presenting the six webinars to help you understand and recover from your romantic involvement with a sociopath. This is Lovefraud’s best deal ever! You get:

  • My 6 best-selling webinars, presented live with updated information, on Wednesday evenings starting on Jan. 16.
  • An opportunity to ask me questions during the webinars.
  • A private forum for each webinar, where you can ask more questions and connect with others
  • Immediate access to the existing recorded webinars

The webinars usually cost $25 each, so six of them would be $150. But the price for the Masterclass is only $99 — a savings of $51. And, if you sign up by January … Read more

After the breakup, do sociopaths return?

Here’s a question I hear frequently from Lovefraud readers: Do sociopaths return?

The answer: Some of them don’t, but some of them do.

Many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths experienced the sudden “devalue and discard.” One day the sociopath loves you. The next day the sociopath tosses you aside like a used tissue and walks away, without ever looking back.

As the person left behind, you may be in shock. You may have had no idea that your partner was unhappy. You may ask yourself, did I do something wrong? Why didn’t he or she say something? Can’t we work this out?

You are also astounded at the callousness of your partner’s behavior. All those … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen

Fake spy with 3 wives — on TV and in real life

Mary Turner Thomson when she married Will Jordan.

The BBC is running a new TV drama called Mrs Wilson — about a woman who discovers her “secret agent” husband has three other wives.

This is exactly the story of Mary Turner Thomson, of Edinburgh, Scotland, whose ex-husband, Will Jordan, claimed to be an American CIA agent. In reality, he was a computer developer with three wives. The Daily Mail recently wrote about the similarities in the stories:

Woman, 53, who thought she had the perfect marriage with her American ‘secret agent’ husband discovers he is serial bigamist with THREE other wives and 13 children.

Lovefraud has been writing about this case for years. In fact, Lovefraud was instrumental … Read more

Three miserable Christmases with the sociopath, and how to heal from the memories

James Montgomery and Donna Andersen at Christmas, 1996.

I spent three Christmases with my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Every one of them was stressful, unhappy, worrisome and bereft of joyful holiday spirit.

Christmas 1996

We had known each other for five months. We’d already had a secret wedding in Australia with his friends and family. For friends and family in New Jersey, we were planning another wedding in January, complete with bridesmaids, a fancy reception for 60 guests and a six-piece band. Montgomery had already blown through $50,000 of my money and credit, and I did not know how we were going to pay for the wedding. And shortly before Christmas Montgomery pressured me into leasing a … Read more

How to dump the sociopath

Suppose you realize that you’re in an unhealthy romantic relationship. Or, your instincts are telling you that the person in hot pursuit of you is bad news. How do you end the involvement?

When you’re romantically involved with reasonably normal individuals, you usually try to spare their feelings. You don’t come out and say that they’re boring, or needy, or oafish, even if that’s what you feel. You make up excuses. You tell them that you’re getting back with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, even if that’s a lie. You say you’re just not ready for a relationship right now, even if that’s also a lie.

In essence, when breaking up with an okay person who just isn’t … Read more

Signs of a sociopath: Elizabeth McKeown admits cutting a woman in half in road rage incident

Elizabeth McKeown ( Greene County Jail)

Elizabeth McKeown, 46, is charged with murder after she intentionally drove into Barbara Foster, 57, of Springfield, Missouri, according to what she told police.

McKeown was stopped at a busy Springfield intersection, behind Foster. Frustrated that Foster wasn’t moving, McKeown accelerated her black Mustang into Foster’s car. Foster then got out of the car to inspect the damage and yelled at McKeown. As Foster returned to her vehicle, McKeown ran her over. The Washington Post reported:

According to police, she told investigators “I tricked her, you know, make her think I was going to be nice, be still and everything.” Instead, she said she slammed her car into Foster and “cut her

Read more

3 steps to prevent a sociopath from taking advantage of your vulnerabilities

Image by Gustavo Verissimo

“Is it really a vulnerability to respond to somebody (apparently) liking and desiring you? Is that not just a basic human need that we all want to have fulfilled?”

The Lovefraud reader Dorabella asked these questions on a story that I posted a couple of weeks ago, The sociopath as your soul mate. They are great questions. The answers are: Yes, it’s a vulnerability to respond to someone desiring you, and yes, it’s a basic human need. So although these are vulnerabilities, they are also normal human qualities.

To be human is to have vulnerabilities.

A vulnerability is a weak point, and whenever we want something, that creates a weak point. Most of … Read more

“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths do

Lance Hart of England shot his wife and daughter, and then himself.

Claire Hart, or Spalding, Lincolnshire, England, had just escaped her emotionally abusive and controlling husband. In July 2016, Claire’s grown sons, Luke and Ryan, packed up her and their 19-year-old sister, Charlotte, and moved them into a rented house.

Five days later, the controlling husband, Lance, shot Claire and Charlotte in the parking lot of a local sports center. Then he shot himself.

A Lovefraud reader just sent me a story about the tragedy that The Guardian newspaper published last year. You can read it here:

‘We didn’t recognise that he was dangerous’: our father killed our mother and sister

After the shootings, Luke and Ryan … Read more

Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spirit

Terry Kelly and Donna Andersen in front of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Plaza, New York City.

For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated.

At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights.

Then came the best part — the … Read more

Signs of a sociopath: Man allegedly gets out of prison and immediately kills a woman

David Bohart (Tucson Police Department)

David James Bohart, 34, of Arizona, got out of prison on Monday, November 19, 2018. That same day, police in Tucson received a 911 call in which a man reported that he was just released from prison and had killed his girlfriend.

Bohart was arrested in a Tucson motel on suspicion of second-degree murder.

The victim, Marika L. Jones, 49, was found dead in a home. While searching the home, detectives found a Department of Corrections file box belonging to Bohart.

None of this looks good for Bohart.

This story gives multiple hints that Bohart may be a sociopath:

  • If he did, in fact, commit the murder, well, killing someone is a big
Read more

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