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Joyce Alexander

Helpful books for people being stalked

By Ox Drover

Dr. Sherry L. Meinberg, an educator holds the “world’s record” with the FBI  for being seriously stalked for the longest time—forty years!—by a combination of her first and second husbands, who brutally beat her and almost killed her. Even after 17 years in a mental institution for the dangerously insane, her first husband, who had written her letters every day of his incarceration, came after her again, and found her.

Dr. Meinberg’s book promotion says:

Research now tells us that one in twelve women in the USA, and a growing number of men, will be stalked at some time in their lives. Over one and a half million adults are stalked annually, with the vast

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James Arthur Ray: Guru or Charlatan?

By Ox Drover

The ABC network has a new program called Mind Games that plays on Tuesday evening, and I caught their first show. The show was about James Arthur Ray, who is an advocate of the “Law of Attraction” and was one of the people interviewed on the movie The Secret.

Ray has written several “best —selling” books including, Harmonic Wealth as New York Times bestseller. Ray also charges as much as $10,000 for seminars.

Ray’s biography from Wikipedia states that he was born in 1957, the son of a Christian  minister who was so poor at times that the family lived in the Church offices. Ray’s teachings are described as a “mix of spirituality, motivational speaking … Read more

Love Fraud: I read through the night – I couldn’t put it down

By Ox Drover

Donna Andersen, a successful journalist from New Jersey, who is the author of the Lovefraud.com site and blog, has written a book about her life experiences, both before and after her marriage to James Montgomery, who she believes fits the profile of sociopath (psychopath). Donna’s  journalism degree from Syracuse University and her experience as editor of Atlantic City Magazine contribute to the readability of this book, called Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.

The day I received my copy of the advance uncorrected proof of this book, I was entirely excited and rushed from the mail box to my favorite chair and perched there the entire night ”¦ that’s right, I … Read more

“Beware of Greeks bearing gifts”

By Ox Drover

When I was a kid growing up, one of the “old sayings” that was bandied around the family was the one about “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.” As a small child this didn’t make any sense, since there weren’t any Greeks that I knew of living anywhere around where we lived in central Arkansas. (The phrase actually refers to the story of the ancient Greeks invading Troy by hiding soldiers in a massive wooden horse that was given to the city as a gift—the Trojan Horse.)

This saying could have been paraphrased as “beware of ANYONE that you don’t trust bearing gifts.”

Many cultures teach their children that if someone does a favor for you, … Read more

BOOK REVIEW: The Gaslight Effect

By Ox Drover

I recently read The Gaslight Effect—How to spot and survive the hidden manipulations other people use to control your life, by Dr. Robin Stern. I highly recommend this book to Lovefraud readers.

Robin Stern, Ph.D., is a therapist specializing in emotional abuse and psychological manipulation. She teaches at Hunter College, Teachers College and Columbia University, and is a leadership coach for faculty.

This well-written book is quite reader friendly. Dr. Stern starts off by defining the term “gaslighting” as being “pressured by someone else to believe the unbelievable.” She goes on to show that gaslighting is “an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that can be difficult to recognize and difficult to break … Read more

The LoveFraud version of “The Ugly Duckling”

By Ox Drover

Once upon a time there was a mother duck who hatched a large clutch of eggs. She had done this many times before and had raised her clutch of identical ducklings, all fluffy and yellow when they were born, into pristine white adults who then had clutches of their own yellow ducklings.

This time, however, one of her ducklings was not yellow and fluffy like all the others. His neck was quite long and his feathers were an ugly gray color. Plus, he was quite clumsy when he walked. He was so much larger than his siblings that he sort of stuck out like a sore thumb in her otherwise identical clutch of babies. She … Read more

The self-fulfilling prophecy

By Ox Drover

My first encounter with a self-fulfilling prophecy (though I didn’t call it that name) was back when I was a band-aid-covered kid learning to ride a bicycle. I kept hitting rocks on the streets on which I rode, and even though I did my best to avoid those rocks and the inevitable spills that hitting them meant, it seemed I could never miss a one. I seemed to hit them all. When I would see a rock ahead I kept my eye on it so I could avoid it, but somehow always seemed to hit the darn thing even though I was trying to be careful to avoid it. I felt like I was doomed … Read more

Loving ourselves–one piece at a time

By Ox Drover

One of the things we hear frequently on LoveFraud and in self help books we might read is to “love yourself.” This sounds like great advice, but the thing is no one ever tells me exactly how to do this.

Some suggestions for increasing my “self love” and “self esteem” given in various books and articles are to use “positive affirmations” such as “I am wonderful,” or some other positive self talk that I should repeat over and over inside my head until I eventually start to believe it.

Even though I might say these phrases over and over, no matter how positive and “self affirming” they may sounds, somehow I never seem to truly … Read more

Psychopathic parents and the disappearance of baby Gabriel Johnson

By Ox Drover

In the last few years the national media have picked up several stories of psychopaths using their children as weapons to inflict severe emotional damage to the nurturing parent. In the “Clark Rockefeller” case, the man posing as a member of the Rockefeller family kidnapped his daughter from a supervised visitation and held her hostage for several days before he was found.

Another case featured here in a Lovefraud article was about Dr. Amy Castillo’s three children being murdered by her husband to inflict punishment on her after she had warned the judge that her ex-husband had made this very threat. In spite of this, the judge let the psychopath have unsupervised visitation with these … Read more

Practice makes perfect

By Ox Drover

I remember when I first learned to ride a bicycle. Most of us remember the day we first took off the training wheels, because generally, we fell down a few times before we got it right and were pretty safe from falling. It took practice. I can’t remember many days before I was about twelve that I didn’t have at least one band-aid on at least one knee. Even with the continual road rash I usually had on my knees and elbows, it never even occurred to me to not keep on practicing or to give up on learning to ride the “big kid’s bike.”

The past couple of months have been rather stressful for … Read more

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