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Intuition, purpose and sociopaths

In my previous two articles on this blog, I wrote that our awful entanglements with sociopaths often have a larger purpose—our personal spiritual growth.

This is an extremely difficult concept, especially when we believe in a benevolent God, universe, or higher power—whatever term you want to use—who only wants the best for us. Why, if God loves us, would he/she want us to experience the deceit, betrayal and destruction of a sociopath?

In my case, the terrible experience allowed me to unearth internal pain and disappointment that was blocking me from feeling love and peace. My sociopathic ex sensed the negative feelings within me, and promised to be the answer to my prayers and the fulfillment of my … Read more

Posted in: Lovefraud books

I wasn’t that stupid

Editor’s note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud’s statement on Spiritual Recovery.

A Lovefraud reader recently sent me the following link from Wikipedia:

Psychological manipulation

The author of the article on psychological manipulation based most of its information on three books: Who’s Pulling Your Strings?, by Harriet B. Braiker; In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, by George K. Simon; and The Psychopathology of Everyday Life, by Martin Kantor.

The first two sections of the article are excellent. First, the author discusses the requirements of successful manipulation:

According to Simon, successful psychological manipulation primarily involves:

  • manipulator concealing aggressive intentions and behaviors.
  • manipulator knowing the psychological vulnerabilities of the victim to determine what
Read more

Why did this happen to me?

As I discovered my entire marriage was a scam, one of the questions that I tormented myself with was, “Why did this happen to me?”

I couldn’t understand it. I am an honest, responsible, forthright person. I honor my obligations. I am considerate of other people. So why did I end up with a lying, cheating sociopath, who took from me almost everything—my money, my career, and even, to a certain degree, my identity.

It didn’t make any sense.

I know other Lovefraud readers have asked the same question. Generally, we are a caring, helpful, empathetic group of people. This virtue, we’ve found out, turns into a vulnerability when we cross paths with a sociopath. Our caring and … Read more

Posted in: Lovefraud books

Win a copy of ‘Love Fraud’

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Love Fraud (Hardcover) by Donna Andersen

Love Fraud

by Donna Andersen

Giveaway ends September 15, 2010.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

 … Read more

All I wanted was a date

Back in the summer of 1996, when I logged onto the America Online Love section, I had no idea that it would be the beginning of a journey that would change my life.

I was single, had never been married and was about to turn 40—yes, I heard that biological clock ticking very loudly. I ran my own copywriting business and finally, after 13 years of struggle, I was making good money.  Maybe, I hoped, it was finally time for me.

When I logged on to AOL and looked at the personal ads, all I wanted was a date.

Enter the sociopath

What I found was James Montgomery, who turned out to be a con artist—a sociopath.

Like … Read more

Posted in: Lovefraud books

Love Fraud: A guide to taking back our lives

By Kathleen Hawk, author of the After the Sociopath: How Do We Heal? series on Lovefraud.

Donna Andersen is living proof that even the most successful, confident and assertive people can get emotionally entangled with a dangerous predator. Her story is a textbook case of how a professional con man can seduce his victim by offering her the dreams she has not yet achieved by herself. And then ups the ante of what she has to pay until the relationship becomes not just expensive, but destructive and toxic.

But this book is not about being a victim, but about being a victor. It covers three main topics. First the awful relationship, which followed a pattern that is familiar … Read more

Love Fraud: An inspiration to anyone who has been targeted by a sociopath

By ErinBrock

Get the book, get the book, get the book!!!!!!!

LOVE FRAUD: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, by Donna Andersen, is a must read for anyone left in pieces after a toxic relationship involving a sociopath. Survivors of sociopathic relationships are left wondering, “How did I get here?” and “Where do I go from here?” Donna’s book will give you insight into finding these answers and provide the inspiration to know ”¦”¦ it’s not over until the “fat” lady sings.

We can survive; we will recover! Trust the plan.

Donna Andersen is an inspiration to anyone who has been targeted by a sociopath. Follow Donna’s story and you will be compelled to pick … Read more

Love Fraud: A gift to all survivors of sociopaths

Editor’s note: The following is a review of “Love Fraud – How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan,” by Donna Andersen

By Matt

It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes just one woman to bring down a sociopath. And Donna Andersen became a one-woman wrecking crew when she set out to seek justice against her sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Ms. Andersen has written a riveting story of her simultaneous journeys seeking justice against Montgomery, and inner peace from the havoc he wreaked in her life.

Ms. Andersen was forced — by both internal and external facts and circumstances — to pursue two very separate yet intertwined paths. The first path was … Read more

Love Fraud: I read through the night – I couldn’t put it down

By Ox Drover

Donna Andersen, a successful journalist from New Jersey, who is the author of the Lovefraud.com site and blog, has written a book about her life experiences, both before and after her marriage to James Montgomery, who she believes fits the profile of sociopath (psychopath). Donna’s  journalism degree from Syracuse University and her experience as editor of Atlantic City Magazine contribute to the readability of this book, called Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.

The day I received my copy of the advance uncorrected proof of this book, I was entirely excited and rushed from the mail box to my favorite chair and perched there the entire night ”¦ that’s right, I … Read more

Love Fraud is a new classic on sociopathy

By Steve Becker, LCSW

Steve Becker, LCSW, profile on the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide.

In Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Donna Andersen has written the most compelling nonfiction account of a relationship with a sociopath I’ve ever come across.

In her Introduction, Andersen is careful to assert as “opinion,” rather than fact, that her ex-husband, James Montgomery—her central, but by no means only—subject in the book, is a sociopath. From my careful reading of Love Fraud, I’d suggest no such qualification is needed: Montgomery seems to me to embody the classic sociopath perfectly.

This book is many things: it is, first of all, a flat-out “page-turner,” meaning it will … Read more

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