Classic psychopath convicted in the UK

A Lovefraud reader forwarded a link to a newspaper article about a con artist convicted yesterday in the United Kingdom. The guy was known as “King Con,” and for good reason.

Bounder with a barrister’s wig preyed on women from lonely hearts page ads

The guy did everything from masquerading as a prominent barrister (lawyer) to stiffing cab drivers to swindling women he met through personal ads. The guy was actually diagnosed as having an “untreatable psychopathic condition.” I hope it means he’ll be sentenced to spend the rest of his life in jail.

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It’s wierd… I miss him and feel lonely like yesterday… then I get depressed last night and I have dreams and this recall of little things that he said and did.. and things that I saw then but that are coming back to me now to look at again… for more awarness…

OH, I know that feeling, Style, and I know it’s so horrible. Sometimes I feel I’m still trapped in his web, feeling I’ve sold him out by turning back to the ways of my family and the legal system and just go back to him. (he has asked me to stop the order of protection I placed on him, for a Christmas present. I didn’t do it, but I’m scared he’ll be even more angry at me now, and REALLY come after me)

But in my gut, I know that if I go back to him, he’ll just use and abuse me more, and “punish” me, which he used to say he’d do if I wasn’t “good.” His punishment took the form of increasing unexpected sadism while making love.

Go back to that? Yikes!

I need to read this blog regularly, and write on it, to remind myself. . . .

Geez Louise.. STAY away from him….read on here.. and do not drop the protective order… just NO CONTACT…

Like I was feeling so low.. that I pondered for a moment contacting him over Christmas.. and now I am into the reality again..
I think that this is just the process to unwind from them..

Don’t put yourself back into their web of deciet .. it will only make you feel more crazy.. work it out here…


it’s like a detox. there are healing crises in detoxing; when we detox we often get a rush of chemicals dumped in our systems that we then need to process. maybe this is the same.

i had a REALLY vivid experience, while I was dozing one night, a few weeks ago, of the spath in the loved boy manifestation coming at me full on – the energy jolted me. detox. let me know what affect she had had on me.

I know the difference bewteen ‘coming’ and ‘going’ with chemicals most often; when I am becoming more toxic or detoxing. They feel different, but the ONE thing they have in common, is that they can leave me feeling clouded and depressed as I process the toxins.

maybe it is the same here. we are chemical/ hormonal beings. this makes so much sense to me – that pyschological expereinces impact on our chemistry. and like me growing allerigc repsonse to mold and other things, we get more sensitive. BUT that also means we can use that to make ourselves safe.

all best style – keep going, keep learning, keep knowing that YOU KNOW. And what you are and want to be is more important that what he is.

It’s the guilt we allow ourselves to ‘own’.
HE did the mean things.
HE was abusive.
HE crossed the line of the law.

This is the whole crux of NO CONTACT!
With 2 plus years NC……I see how I reacted before….and I see how I react now/after.
I AM CONVINCED NC was the only way I was able to get out and stay out…..
For 28 years I bought into and ALWAYS looked for the ‘i love you’s’……the fake ‘i’m sorry’s’….the please help me’s….the i know i need helps…..the ‘you are the love of my life’s’, the ‘you are the only woman I want’…….the blah’s, blah’s, blah’s……..
They only had to be spoken for me to believe the words…..I was desperate.
I WANTED TO HEAR THOSE WORDS, SO I DIDN”T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE “PAIN” of a breakup. Live another day being punished….bring my life back to the ‘honeymoon’ phase of cutesy-wootsy….temporary, yet sufficient for me….to offer me hope….he could change….prove to myself I WAS WRONG…..see EB, he really isn’t the monster I thought…..look, he cried as he said, I LOVE YOU!
This is the crap we allow our minds to play on us……AVOIDANCE through guilt!

Well……the pain of the breakup was NOTHING like living in hell and rollercoaster with a toxic person……the pain of the breakup is temporary and minimizes over time…….
Living in toxicity almost killed me! LITERALLY!!!!
It was a 28 year process of dying. And not one month after booting him……I had 2 strokes, dissected carotid artery and diagnosed with cancer!!!

DO NOT OWN WHAT HE DID! You are protecting your rights as a HUMAN BEING!
The ‘guilt’ is simply your programming to do whatever he wants……and NOW YOUR NOT!!!!!

In reality, you know the outcome……keep reminding yourself of that.
Keep up NO CONTACT…..really, it offers space and time for your mind to heal and become strong and refamiliarize yourself with YOUR own values, morals and wishes!

I truely value my NO CONTACT!
This action and this alone has allowed me to gain EB back-strength to make my own decisions based on what EB wants……NOT HIM! It’s a snowball effect of self esteem…..all coming from NO CONTACT!!!!

It’s like having a strained foot……if you don’t stay off of it and give it a rest……it’ll never get better and you’ll always be walking with a limp. You need time to gain strength…..
(the difference here…..once the strain feels better….you can’t go back to doing the ‘old’ activities again…..)

Stay strong…..
And always remember…..YOUR BEST INTEREST!!!!!

I just read your post and really appreciate it…you see, today is my ex’s birthday and I am at home feeling guilty for cutting off contact with him almost 2 months ago…

His phone call to me when he realized I had cut off contact after a fight about stealing from my house revolved around how ‘insulted’, ‘offended’, and ‘hurt’ he was that I accused him of stealing and how could we be in a relationship if there was no trust…I know he has the STUPID book…its the point of stealing ANYTHING from me…

My point is this…I am having racing thoughts and Im obsessing…with guilt today even though all the lies and manipulations are playing out in my head as well…

Please Rbabe don’t fall for that. My ex-sociopath used the exact same strategy: he claimed he was ‘offended’, ‘hurt’ and also ‘angry’, all at the same time – everytime I suspected him – and everytime I was right.
Actually, correction: I was not entirely right – very far from the truth actually: I only suspected 5% of what he actually did – at the time I had no idea of the extent of his lying and cheating. And still, he was the one trying to make me feel guilty. Don’t let him do that to you.

His reaction would indicate that he stole a lot more than a book from you…

So it’s his birthday, ha? How many years of stupidity?

Interesting thoughts. I know a bunch of half stories…you know, the ones that he told me that left out the ‘catch’ to the situations but made him look semi-good still?

Much of my anger is towards me (guilt=anger turned inward) for allowign all the crap to continue, despite his efforts to really SHOW me who he is.

I appreciate you reiterating the fact about his over reaction to his perception of being ‘accused’. It is true…his reaction did and continues to indicate he stole that…not to mention what ever else he took that is unknown to me at this time…

He is 36 today and you are right again…36 years of stupidity. He lives at home with his parents still…does not drive…and has the NERVE to demand anything from me?

Thank you, eileen—you are much appreciated!

Robxsy, I’m glad if it helps! It helps me a great deal also – funny, it’s easier to deconstruct the very same sociopathic sentences when they come from someone else’s sociopath!

I also got the “if you’re demanding evidence that what I’m saying is true, it means there is no trust and this relationship can’t work” and you know what? When they say that, they are actually telling the truth. Relationships with them can only work if we trust them – if we trust them blindly. If we don’t believe or trust them anymore, they know there are losing the game. Either they try harder to convince us, or they see the danger coming and they dump us for a more gullible prey before we find them out.

I have no doubt now, that even though my sociopath claimed he loved me etc, if I had insisted to see the evidence I wanted when he came up with the trust thing, he would have walked away there and then!

As always I’m hesitant to give details here in case he checks this site and spots me (and then signs up! Argh!)

DEar Eilee,

Good words from you, you are so right, they DEMAND “trust” BLIND TRUST, trust should be EARNED not given to every tom, dick and harry that DEMANDS it, betrays it and then DEMANDS it again!

Oh, Baby, truuuuuuust me! Yea right! that is “P-speak” for SUCKERRRRRRR!!!!

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