By | December 30, 2010 21 Comments

Coleman murders: Friends tell of victim’s fears

Back in 2009, Sheri Coleman and her two sons, ages 9 and 11, were found strangled in their beds. Christopher Coleman, the husband and father, is charged in the murders. His lawyers are trying to prevent prosecution witnessees from testifying before a jury a about the victim’s fears, claiming it would be hearsay.

Read Coleman judge hears victim’s friends tell of her fear, on

Read previous Lovefraud coverage, Christopher Coleman charged with strangling his family.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Laws and courts

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Ox Drover

Assuming that what is published in the news reports is correct. (I guess we should put that as a addendum to every story we read in the papers about anything.) It sounds to me like this guy planned the murder of his wife and children. Most times if one of a couple is killed and there are no witnesses, etc., the cops FIRST look at the other spouse, and apparently this isnt’ the first guy to realize only too late that if there is an affair in the recent or even distant past that he ends up being charged with the murder.

I recall the one (can’t remember the name) where the doctor put cyanide in his wife’s prenatal vitamins so she would pass out and have a car wreck and make her death appear like an accident, then he ran over seas and hid for several years before being caught and dragged back here for trial. Scot Petersen is another example, and on and on….they think they are SO CLEVER in how they are going to do the murder and either make it look like an accident or a stranger killing….yet, the “stupid cops” get it figured out. I am sure that the cops miss one here or there but while these psychopaths are so arrogant and so sure that THEY are SMARTER than the “stupid cops” they aren’t as smart as they think they are.

I hope that the judge will allow this testimony as “dying declarations” or whatever they need to use to get it into testimony, but it appears to me that there are enough things that they have already to show that this man arranged to have his wife killed or did it himself.

I know many people admire Joyce Meyer’s ministry and I have myself listened to some of her lectures/sermons (whatever you want to call them) but I have a real PROBLEM in how she lives her life, in fact, I have a real problem with how most if not all of the various “televangelists” live their lives in mega-mansions. I have a “problems” with any one who styles themselves a “minister of God” living in McMansion, or driving a Bentley. I don’t have a problem with a minister being PAID, just not paid and supported like some kind of sports-star. Come to think of it, I don’t think a guy should get zillions of bucks for throwing a ball either, or hitting it with a little stick to land in a hole, but that’s just me—I DO think, however, that school teachers ought to be paid a living wage. Oh, well, I’m just a cranky old bat from Arkansas who doesn’t like a LOT of the things about the way the world is run.


The fact that he served as a security CHIEF for Joyce Meyers really struck me. Wow.. guess his “wife and kids” got in HIS way of having an affair. And yet some might claim he was just a “low level” psychopath before this ordeal.. and now that he’s actually committed something horrid they’ll say, “What an extreme example..” No.. more like what a COMMON example of what freaks of nature walk amongst us everyday.. they’ll do anything to get what they want, even murder their own wife & kin. …How are psychopaths evolutionarily viable again?

“It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”
– the late Carl Sagan ( Rest In Peace )


How are psychopaths evolutionarily viable? – BECAUSE they is a relatively small number of them; BECAUSE they procreate without conscience – it’s a numbers game.


but the fact of the matter is, there is a relatively small number of them – so they aren’t THAT viable.


Another sad story, the murder of a young mother and her children. It would have been better for the wife to throw in the towel (end her marriage), being alive today. She possibly hoped up until the end that by some miracle of God, their relationship would improve. The husband didn’t want to divorce his wife because that would jeapardize his job (everything was all about him, a totally selfish person). I really think that the public would profit from being educated about sociopaths and/or psychopaths – maybe, if the wife learned that her husband was a sociopath, she would have made better decisions, high-tailed it out of her marriage.


Hi it’s me the resident cynic.
you said that there is a relatively small number of them.
hmmm….Genghis Khan
does that ring a bell?
dna studies have been done that show lots of people carry that monster’s genes.
Well, I’m not as worried about the genes as I am about the legacy of his war against humanity, but still…
My exP had a brother, who is now deceased, thank God.
He was a drug addict that never stopped fathering children. ended up with 5 or 6 before he died in his early 30’s. Never supported any one of them. Luckily he died in a car accident with his drug addict friends. He was charming and beautiful BTW. Everyone liked him. He lied constantly.
Yep, it’s a numbers game. In my life I think there are 2 people I know that aren’t spaths. My sister is one and her (slightly disordered children due to an N father) and one business associate.
They climb the steps to power, they father children, they are everywhere that can create the most impact. yes, it’s a numbers game.


morning sky – my point is related to their ‘evolutionary viability’: there are relatively small numbers of them (compared to the non disordered) AND THEREFORE THEY DON’T JUST KILL ONE ANOTHER OFF IN ENDLESS PLAYS. if the populations of the world were 95% spaths, the population would just implode. at 4% to 10% we have huge problems caused by them.

Ox Drover

One I agree with you, there has to be some evolutionary advantage. I think their propensity to switch partners and to not bond to or take care of the offspring but let the mothers care for the offspring.

The cowbird and there are others too, lay their eggs in someone else’s nests and lay several more eggs than they could care for themselves. They leave their offspring for normal nurturing birds to raise, and as a side effect as well, the cow bird baby grows faster and kicks the host bird’s babies out onto the ground.

I think many of the kids in the foster system probably have psychopathic parents or parents high in psychopathy, because their parents have had and abandoned the kids either on purpose or because of jail/prison/drug activity, record numbers of grandparents are also raising kids whose parents I believe are high in P traits and/or mental illness and/or drug addictions.

So yea, these people both male and female are breeding like rabbits and then turning the offspring over to others to raise (which is probably to the benefit of the children in some if not most cases) even still if the kids are adopted out, more of them have conduct disorder (pre-psychopathy) or other problems even in “good” environments.


I like both your posts spathy sons is one of those adopted from the foster system, and likely birth dad AND mom in his case were P’s. so…why am I so surprised he is like he is…? That being said…I work in older child adoption and NOT every child waiting are high in P traits…but most certainly have trauma and PTSD issues, and scars of that. I also do work with a fair amount of kids whose parents were also products of the foster care system- usually aged out without being adopted- and these are very sad cases indeed…so the whole breeding theory has some truth to it…

Also, my spath radar is on high alert regarding a pastor of a friends church, whom we are helping with music tonight- my friend calls him a “prophet”, and at rehearsal last night, I’m thinking…hmmmm….he drives a Hummer, lives in a beautiful home, much of it decorated in palatial/Roman type style…pillars, statues and the like…inside I’m thinking, is this what Jesus would live in?? The pastor is also a musician and as we rehearsed in his uber fancy house the ego was apparent. Finally, he “Prophesizes” for his followers…my friend in particular about new homes he pictures them having…my friend and her husband already own 2 nice homes, and his prophet had a dream about a home- described it perfectly to them_ that he sees them in, and is praying for them to have…it is a $800,000 home. Oh yes…the spathy radar is spinning!

Ox Drover

Dear Roodyzoo,

Yea, I went to a church like that one time with some friends and their “pastor” had this GREAT “investment opportunity” and then God spoke to him and told him he should not be selfish and he should open it up to the entire congregation to invest in and also get rich, and they people were standing up, holding up their hands and swaying and I KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING, AND IT WAS STILL HYPNOTIC….by the end of the service I was almost wanting to throw money at him. LOL

You know the thing is, they use the same tricks that a carnival barker uses to get you to play their “games” and toss nickles at the plates on the bear’s heads….they make things look so easy, so “something for nothing” (Bernie Madoff) and they hold this mirror out for you to see your fondest wishes in.

Yea, I agree, “Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television Show?” LOL

I think your P-dar is right on, Roodyzoo!



Yeh, you are so right. I suspect that Jesus would be appalled by the way some of these preachers live, enjoying the the high life. He didn’t have a home, walked around preaching the kingdom of God, depending on His Father to provide for his earthly needs. If I were a preacher, I would feel guilty living a lavish life style while members of society (or my congregation) were homeless, unable to pay their bills, etc. I would think that God does not want us to live like kings (or queens), spoiling ourselves outlandishly, but rather we should live in a balanced way.


dancingnancies –

‘some might claim he was just a “low level” psychopath before this ordeal.. and now that he’s actually committed something horrid they’ll say, “What an extreme example..” No.. more like what a COMMON example of what freaks of nature walk amongst us everyday.. they’ll do anything to get what they want, even murder”

I sooooooo agree with this. As Oxy commented on another thread earlier, it is possible to have a “mild case” of some disease or a “serious case”.

But how could it possible to have a “mild case” of a lack of empathy? or of grandiosity? or dishonesty? You either feel empathy, or else you do not. You are either grandiose, or else you are not. And there is no such thing as “half” a lie – it’s either the the truth, or else it is some shade of the opposite; a lie.

These symptoms/traits/factors, BY THEIR VERY NATURE defy “grading” on some sort of scale. Both the x-wife prior to me and me, firmly believe that given half a chance and the ideal circumstamces, our xspath would happily kill us. He hasn’t done so, only because the opportunity to do so has not been present and because he needs us to still be alive. He needs HER to care for their 16-year-old son (for whom he has no use or time) and he needs ME because he thinks that by dragging me through court, the judge is going to kick me out of my home and give him my money, which he mistakenly thinks is HIS money that I took from him (he has wasted all of his and needs a “top-up”)

Her son and my money have so far been our “protection”.
I have no doubt that if I was still with him and had money, I would be on some kind of hit list. When this was the case (very late in the relationship), there was a strange and confusing incident that I now see was an attempt on my life which was being set up to look like an accident (and yes – I WAS insured…and he WAS the beneficiary)

So – on the surface, his bad deeds look “mild” enough compared to some, but they are only that way because it served his purposes to have them so. So far….


aussiegirl, absolutely. Was Ted Bundy “low level” before he killed ~36 women? I mean, after all he didn’t KILL anyone ( during that time ), right? He went through all the MOTIONS of normalcy, college degree… law school… ( His own college roommate was floored and completely shocked upon finding out that he was a serial killer! He said he didn’t think Ted was “that kind of guy”.) hey he even had a “girlfriend!” ( she broke up with him within a year but that’s a whole ‘nother story. She was just another “object” to him )

aussiegirl said :

“These symptoms/traits/factors, BY THEIR VERY NATURE defy “grading” on some sort of scale. Both the x-wife prior to me and me, firmly believe that given half a chance and the ideal circumstamces, our xspath would happily kill us. He hasn’t done so, only because the opportunity to do so has not been present and because he needs us to still be alive. He needs HER to care for their 16-year-old son (for whom he has no use or time) and he needs ME because he thinks that by dragging me through court, the judge is going to kick me out of my home and give him my money, which he mistakenly thinks is HIS money that I took from him (he has wasted all of his and needs a “top-up”)”

Yep, it’s all about opportunity.

Ox Drover

I’ve read quite a bit on Ted Bundy and when the truth came out, he was NOT “low level at any point,” I don’t think, it just wasn’t known what he was doing. He was a pathological liar as well.

I guess you could say that any psychopath is “low level” before they commit a crime, or a violent crime–actually I think there is a difference between those that just don’t give a flying fark what they do to you and those that ENJOY your pain. Neither of them have any empathy or compassion, but ones like my P son ENJOY causing pain. Others will just “eat the last piece of cake” knowing you haven’t had any but they don’t eat it to deprive you of it, just because they want it and don’t care that you haven’t had any. Then there are ones like my son, who will eat all they can and then flush what’s left down the toilet so you are deprived of any cake.


But who are we to make that distinction… who are we to say low level or high level… as aussiegirl has said, “These symptoms/traits/factors, BY THEIR VERY NATURE defy “grading” on some sort of scale.”

I think escalating abuse as a means of getting a reaction can be equated to “enjoying” the pain inflicted on you. Anyway you look at it, it’s evil.

What I also wanted to add is, whether we have these “grades” or not, we simply don’t know what these psychopaths are capable of, and as such I think it is really not our place to be placing any definitives..


that’s an excellent example about the cake and the INTENT behind eating it.
But I propose to you that the difference is not in the intent, they always eat the cake JUST SO YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY. But the difference is in their awareness of their intent.

The theory of memetic envy as proposed by Rene Girard, is that babies naturally have envy because that is how they learn what is good and what is bad. They can read your face and know when you are enjoying something. That’s why when you want the baby to eat his food, you put the baby spoon to your mouth and say, “yum yum!”. Then the baby will eat it. But the baby is aware that one food is not the same as another. He wants what YOU’RE having.

An emotionally retarded person is just feeling all the things that a baby feels, but he can rationalize to believe he wants something for himself, not simply to see you suffer. At some point, the most evil sociopaths – like my exP, realize that they really only want to take things to enjoy the look on your face when you are massively disappointed. He loved watching the faces of losers at the casino and told me he was sure he could tell when one was going to commit suicide. Serial killers have described pleasure in seeing disappointment in the face of the victims when they realize that they will not live.

My little sister at 9 months old, demanded my doll because it was mine and she saw the pleasure on my 3 year old face when I played with it. That was bad enough but when my mom forced me to give it to her, over and over every day for a year, she observed another look on my face: anguish. My mom re-inforced in my spath sister the idea that anguish on my face meant winning for her.

She has always been obsessed with me. She followed me around as a kid and when we grew up to have boyfriends, she would always talk about me, to them. She would tell them something about me – not sure what, that made them envious of me, as if they were competing with me for her admiration. One boyfriend had a saying, “…your sister, huh?”

I have yet to meet or hear of a sociopath whose motive WASN’T about eating your EMOTIONS, rather than about eating the (symbolic) cake. In fact, I would say that one definition of a sociopath is that he is an emotional vampire. They do what they do in order to feed off your emotions, that is why gray rock works so well – no emotional feedback, means no reward and they lose interest.

It follows that if a person truly has another motive or hunger that is not about sadism, then he is not a sociopath at all. He may be immature, self-centered and selfish, but not reduced to the level of an infant, like sociopaths are.

Here is a story that I don’t think I’ve told here before. It’s hilarious. I was driving and stopped at a light. 2 lanes of traffic in each direction, I was in the right lane and was pulled up about even with the rear window of the car in the next lane. I looked over and there was a baby about a 14-months old, in a carseat, giving me the middle finger!! His face was contemplative, emotionless. In fact he wasn’t actually giving ME the finger, he was just holding it up and contemplating “the bird”. We just sat there like that for a few minutes and I rolled down the window and waved to get the attention of the grandparents in the front seet and his 2 parents in the back. Then I pointed to the baby. They looked over and recoiled in shock! All 4 of them physically jumped in their seats as if they’d seen a snake, but for a few seconds did nothing to stop the baby, they just stared in horror, pressed back against their seats with their open mouths covered (I was laughing)! Finally, the dad reached over and grabbed the babies hand. I immediately realized that he had seen someone give the fingar at some point – felt the emotional charge that it contained, maybe watched the fallout – and was trying it out. AND BOY DID IT WORK!!!

The only ones I’ve ever seen who are as good as manipulating our attention and our emotions as expertly as a spath can, were babies.


Your spath sister sounds like my spath sister except that our ages are reversed – she is 2 years older than me, and since about age 3, that I can remember, she always wanted whatever I was playing with! And since she was bigger then me, all she needed to do was grab it from me behind mom’s back. This she did all the time! I remember teachers telling my parents that I was very good at sharing…I wonder why? Maybe having no choice had something to do with it? Anyway, I was used to not having any “possessions”.

Even at an older age, I was 10-12 years old, she was 12-14 years old she always wanted to sit where I was seating on the sofa, if I consistently showed a preference for a certain spot (I even tested this out several times) Ok, this is psycho. And she is still obsessed with me, but has never shown me any real kindness. Even weirder, was her emotionless face when she would beat me up.

Well, thanks for pointing this out – I had never even heard of memetic envy before. Yet another proof…


someone on an earlier post commented that their ex would have killed her and x wife if he didn’t have a reason for them to live. I am convinced dear sister would have easily strangled me if there was no consequence (she was often violent but emotionless doing it, even gave me whiplash when I was 14 that I still suffer from 26 years later).


satya –
That was me and I am sure it is true.

I think that murder by spaths is two-fold in purpose.

They either no longer need us for supply but want us out of their way so that we pose no obstacle to their next lot of scams; or else they would stand to gain significantly by our death (for instance, in the case of a life insurance policy of which they were the beneficiary).

The other ex-wife and I are still potential sources of supply to our spath, in his thinking.

I am bracing myself for the back-lash when I finally put him in for insurance fraud, but I look at it this way – I have spent the past almost 4 years expecting him to make some sort of an attempt on my life. If I’m going to live that way, I might as well take him down too, right? And maybe, if his butt lands in jail, I will be safer for longer.


spaths give a whole new meaning to sibling rivalry…
Funny that you were really good at sharing, me too! And helping and teaching and doing your homework…it’s my programming.
I’m not familar with your story, were your parents Ns or Ps?

Ox Drover

Thanks for posting that link Donna. Glad he was convicted. Hope he at least gets to spend the rest of his miserable natural life in prison.

I do feel sorry for his parents and sibs though in being unable to believe he is guilty….I think that is going to be more painful for the family than the acute pain of realizing he IS GUILTY….

Keeping up the family pretense of “everything is wonderful, we’re just one big happy family” though many times does go with some uber religious families and this may be one of them…who knows? I do know though that this man sounds very high in P-traits to me. A sad story, but glad that at least some closure and validation for the victims’ family and friends.

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