By | June 14, 2017 7 Comments

Confusion: The top warning sign of an abusive relationship

When someone is involved in an abusive relationship, the most prominent warning sign is likely to be confusion, explains Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT. People who are involved with abusers can’t figure out what is going on — and sometimes counselors misinterpret their clients’ confusion.

Mary Ann will be presenting her Lovefraud CE program, Love and Exploitation, on July 17 and July 24, 2017. This program offers 4 continuing education credit hours for psychologists and social workers.

In this Live Online webinar, you’ll be able to ask questions of Mary Ann and interact with other learners.

You’ll also be able to take advantage of a new feature of Lovefraud’s Continuing Education courses — a private forum for everyone in the course. Ask questions and compare notes with other learners — even after the webinar is over.

Love and Exploitation:

Part 1: Recognizing the exploitative relationship and its impact on the intimate partner Monday, July 17, 12-2 ET.

Part 2: Overview of therapeutic strategies for partners in relationships with exploiters Monday, July 24, 12-2 ET.

If you want this information right away, a recorded version of this course is also available.

Sign up today!

Comment on this article

Please Login to comment
Notify of

It’s often struck me that inconsistency is the hallmark of an abuser. I suppose it signals a lack of what we’d otherwise call “personal integrity.” At any rate the “confusion” Mary Ann Glynn speaks of is certainly a natural reaction to an abusive partner’s inconsistent (and therefore “incomprehensible”) behavior.


Interesting! Whenever he had me exactly where he wanted me – which was in knots, too weak to fight – I would plead for transparency, telling him I was confused. He would consistently reply with “I know.”


Donna & Mary Ann excellent interview video!! Mary Ann you have a amazing ability to break a domestic abusive relationship down to simple terms.

YES! Confusion is the best way to describe someone in a domestic abusive relationship.

When I escape my ex husband & found a counselors. The first thing I said to her was “I’m so confused. I just left my husband and filed for divorce. I dont know who is at fault me, him or both of us”.

I believe using the word “confused” the counselors tuned in immediately and started to ask me very detailed questions. And within 20 minutes told me that I was married to a sociopath. At the time I did no fully understand what this meant but I knew I had my answer that I had be praying for to finally leave him for good. The counselor gave me a book that day about sociopathic relationships & sociopath traits and it was ALL there….every page was a explanation of the hell I had endured for over 12 years. The lying, blame shifting, emotional, mental & verbal abuse. Everything.

I think if you see someone that you believe is in a domestic abusive relationship simply ask them if they feel “confused” in their relationship. If they say Yes. The you know they are being abused.


This is true before the victim learns what a psychopath is.


when they (the psychopath) NEVER do something, say something or react to something the same way twice, its confusion/inconsistency and a BIG REDflag. when something they say or do is over the top reaction to what did occur, a BIG RED FLAG. when they under-react to a catastropic event..its a BIG RED FLAG. the word NORMAL, ORDINARY, USUAL just does not work with these people.




Hi Takenmylifebac, here is the video 😊

Lovefraud is being upgraded. Comments and forum posts are temporarily disabled. Dismiss

Send this to a friend