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By | May 9, 2010 17 Comments

Con man swindles a long line of women–until one stops him

Sara Terry of the UK thought she met her mirror image in Peter Berry—the same view of life, the same interest in sports, even the same type of dog. She fell into a relationship with him, and later discovered she was one of many who did the same, and ended up swindled. But Sara Terry fought back.

Read I was caught in the seducer’s net on Mail Online.

Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Cases, Media sociopaths

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Ox Drover

This psychopath’s con game is so typical of most of them. I did note in the article though that he had been ADOPTED at 6 months of age and his adoptive parents were noted as very caring and his up bringing good.

The article also mentioned that he left school at 16, which in many countries is the case with students not destined to go on to college, but into trades of some kind. Apparently his first job was no success and at that point he apparently decided to con instead of work.

He had conned his family as well as outsiders, taking 100,000 pounds from his mother.

My guess is that his upper middle-class background gave him manners to use as tools to pretend to be “successful” when he presented himself to new victims.

I’m glad this lady fought back and the man was convicted of fraud. He deserves to do some serious jail time, but apparently won’t. At least his picture being all over the papers and on the internet may make a few women aware. I hope so.

Dani S

How brilliant that Sara fought back. Good on her! This man in the article is so closely simular to the man I gave my heart, soul & money too.

They make me so angry! He will brush him self off and keep going. Just a minor little set back for him.

bulletproof

eew God…the blood runs cold. Peter Barry eh? yes just look at him, he will brush it all off and start again!!! that’s the baffling thing about these conmen swindler Ps and she says:

I didn’t question it because he overwhelmed me by organising one activity after another…

yes that’s what they do…baffle..fog..mystify…pile on the good vibes so you would say yes to anything.

So BIG WARNING SIGN IS FEELING OVERWHELMED (lovebombed, euphoric, intoxicated, dizzy with excitement as if all your dreams begin to come true….time to really stop and get help)

Dani S

So true bulletproof! from the begining my head was spinning with all the activities, trips, dreams,hopes, promises then in the end my head was still spinning, lies,abuse,activities,dreams,abuse,promises,hopes,abuse,lies lol I couldn’t think straight from from start to finish…..
It amazes me that like Peter Barry there is no money! My ex S had taken hundreds of thousands from parents/women/friends but doesnt have a cent to his name. He has a few assets in other peoples name but the amounts don’t add up. He was always robbing Peter to pay Paul and will lways do so.
Strip me bare and I am happy with the person I am but Ex S had to a surrounded by nice things coz everything inside was rotten!

Genevieve79

Fascinating stuff, the guy was clearly a sociopath, especially telling was how hs mother and sister disowned him.
I’m going to be a little bit controversial here though and say that I have my reservations about Sara as well.
First of all she speaks about him being her ‘mirror image’ Quote: “They had a similar view of life, enjoyed the same sports and both were dog owners with much-loved Labradors”
She mentions how he was 40 and a successful business consultant (he said…) and describes how he took her to look at multi million pound houses
“‘I wasn’t working at the time and he said he was enjoying a break after several successful business deals so we spent lots of time sailing.He taught me how to kayak, which I loved. He also said he wanted to buy a house for us and we went round looking at several £3million-plus properties. I admit that I was smitten and quite overcome” ”

We get some info on her first husband “Just before Christmas 2008, she took her children on a family holiday with her former husband, a property developer…” and earlier on in the article we find out where she lives “…on the third date he asked if he could come to her home, a detached property in a picturesque Hampshire village”
During the course of her relationship with the conman she presumably started working “An articulate and attractive 42-year-old divorcee, she would not seem an obvious ’victim’.
Like many women of her age, though, she is fully occupied. She looks after her young children on the South Coast and works in a chandler’s”

OK can anyone see where I’m going with this yet? Her last husband was a property developer, she lives in a detached house (presumably from the divorce…) on the South Coast looking after her kids and wasn’t working when she met the conman. The detective on the case describes typical victim as “Many, who are high-powered lawyers, GPs, fund managers, senior civil servants and businesswomen, haven’t wanted to press charges in case it affected their careers”

When she mentions her later job we find that she is neither a lawyer nor GP but a blue collar worker, working in a chandlers (candlemakers – a shop or factory…)

I’m probably going to come across as a beetch here but everything about her screams gold-digger to me…Her ex was wealthy – and this conman guy came across as wealthy too, even looking for 3m pound houses with her.
Especially telling is how she describes him as her ‘mirror image’ when she first met him. Granted sociopaths do this to gain our trust but I’m wondering if in her case it was somewhat more literal!
So yeah, I’m thinking she’s not so much a typical highflying victim but a gold digger attracted by wealthy men who got her fingers burnt!
Whaddya’ll reckon? =) xxx

Genevieve79

Socioeconomic Postscript Special On The UK for US readers – Hampshire villages (and alot of the UK south coast in general) are expensive places to live. Detached house or not, normally only professional classes would be able to afford to live there. As a single woman she’d have to be a highflying professional like the detective describes to be able to afford the lifestyle she has, if she wasn’t the divorcee of a wealthy property developer…. 😉

anneka

this is my true story :-
————————–
http://www.blurty.com/users/slayerslapper/

http://theexecutorssite.blogspot.com/

bulletproof

Genevieve79
there is a thin line between gold digger, high flying professional and woman looking for nice guy that resembles her “dream”
I will totally go with the probabillity she was genuinely looking for someone she could connect with, not so much the man with the Gold. But hey if he happens to have that as well…yay! He LURED her with the bait he was in the money, of course that would re affirm idea that he was a together person who could turn his dreams into reality…that is a natural turn on for intelligent women, is it not?? does not nessecarily translate into Gold digger….

Dani S

stay happy with who you are. That is the key to this nightmare ending. You did nothing wrong, you believed in a con man, not your fault!

Oxy

interesting that he was adopted, I think it is particularly hard for adopted people landed in the wrong chemistry/family…untold damage occurs that is hard to feel is true since “REAL” parents “GAVE YOU AWAY” from this position, lying could become normal/everyday….for example…we rescued you when no one wanted you not even your own parents….you were the angel we picked out and rescued because we love you so much…blah blah….when the REAL child needs the real truth which is adoptive parents benefit from the situation because they have a dependent needy child that will love them because they are there…..thats a benefit, a priveledge and an undeniable tragedy for the birth mother regardless of the “story” given…..

Ox Drover

Bulletproof, your “theory” about adopted kids feeling “badly” because they given away/abandoned etc. but the presumption is that kids are born a blank slate upon which environment writes, which is more and more apparently NOT SO. Studies with idential twins both adopted and raised with different families (not the same families) show that if oone child is a psychopath there is 50-80% chance the other one is as well. Other research shows that inheritence is more inclined than environment alone to produce a child with psychopathic traits. The poor kid who has psychopathic parents to raise it and abuse it along the way gets the double whammy of “abuse + genetics=psychohpathic.”

Even some of the chemicals that have to do with bonding with others have been isolated and show up as not functioning properly in psychopaths. Oxytocin is one example.

There are several articles here about scientific research, you might get some of what I am talking about by reading them. (((hugs))))

bulletproof

Oxy

it’s not a theory, it’s my experience on meeting my son who I “lost” to adoption. (catholic country disgrace/sent to unmarried mothers home etc)
He was 16 when I met him, and through out the years he would tell me that to be “abandoned” by your real mother is absolutely devastating. He was very angry with me, very upset, emotional and stayed glued to me for 10 years despite being 16 and with really good, happy beautiful adoptive parents….so I do not think you get a “blank slate” as the foetus lived for 9 months within the mother before ever going anywhere…..
BUT I really do not know in the case of a psychopath…I guess it IS a state one comes in with??? I certainly do not beleive it is the fault of adoptive parents, I think GENETICS play a part, the PERSONALITY of the child plays a part, The UPBRINGING plays a part and also the UNRESOLVED FEELINGS AROUND BEING GIVEN AWAY plays a part.
My son, who I gave up at birth to adoption, has the EXACT SAME mannersims as his biological father EVEN though he did not bring him up. My son also has the exact unusual sense of humour that I have, that I can only explain by the fact we are “Of the same stuff” regardless of upbringing…there are extraordinary physical likenesses, medical problem commonalities, the fact I can chat to my son for hours….because he thinks the same way and we have the EXACT same “way” of talking is incredible.

As for psychopaths I’m unsure. Maybe it’s when all the factors conspire at a certain pitch ….a psychopath is born….maybe they “come in” that way regardless of parents…..but it is interesting if a psychopath was adopted….it’s another question mark, another angle to explore. How many of them are adopted for instance? etc. etc.

I guess a normal kid “feels” the sadness associated with not knowing his real mother/father…what does a psychopath say about it? (((hugs back)))

bulletproof

The P was not my sons father, my son is not a P…he is full of empathy and feelings.
The P’s response to my life story (my son being adopted etc.) was:

tell him to get over it. His mother has a right to live her life. he has no right to ask you for anything. He has no respect if he does (and of course he did ) my son objected to the P and there was a huge standoff between them. He was very impatient with him and more or less told him to F off the P told me to “forget him” and have another “proper” baby with him so we could be a real family…thank god I didnt…..

Ox Drover

Dear Bulletproof,

I’m sorry I misunderstood about your son’s parentage. I AM glad you did not have a child with the P!

Oh, I definitely agree that genes play a big part in who we are. I have raised animals for decades and seen the FAMILY lines of disposition in many kinds of animals, even cattle, which most people don’t realize have very deffinite patterns of “attitudes” and dispositions. I can almost perdict the aggressiveness of a given animal by the “family” traits in their lines. That is why it is so important in animals to “cull” for disposition in animals that can be aggressive (dogs, cattle, horses, etc) it isn’t just the species or sex of the animal that makes the difference, but the family line as well.

I do understand some of what your son felt about being put up for adoption, my P-sperm donor did not come around me and I knew about him, I also WONDERED what he was like. I wondered why he had never been around me. Of course, too, with him being a psychopath, I was way too open to “loving” him and that let me become his victim because JUST because he was my “father” I gave him WAY too much trust! (ANY! IN HIS CASE!)

Dani S

Oxy, How old were you when your started seeing your father? My daughter although only 2 1/2 is full of love and empathy. She adores animals and is very gentle, effectionate and loving with all family members and our pets. I am so worried if she has a personality like mine even with all the information on her father she will be sucked into him given the chance. I dont want her to get hurt the way everyone else has by him. It is my biggest worry and would love some feed back on it 🙂

Bulletproof what an amazing person you are!

bulletproof

Dani S

Thank you! I have felt far from amazing in my life before the P came along, like a failure mother, the saddest woman and could never consider having another child because I left the one I had!! it was a desperate mistake to give my son up. It was years after re uniting with my son, and alot of therapy forgiving myself etc. I felt I deserved another chance at love…when I ran straight into the arms of the P…talk about unlucky!! or maybe lucky because don’t we learn so much? it’s like the honours class in lessons to learn isn’t it? Its the Phd in Reality!

neveragain

I got hooked by a multi-millionaire…and he really is. But I am not a gold digger. Plus, usually with the really rich there are pre-nups and all that. But I knew in my heart that if he gave all his money to his kids and came to me dirt poor, I would have taken him. Come on! We all know about the spell they cast. There are many who PRETEND or ARE wealthy, thinking that is the best thing they’ve got going for them. But if you look at the profile of females caught by these kind of men, in “Women Who Love Psychopaths”, they don’t tend to be golddiggers. They tend to be loving, giving, generous, unselfish women, forgiving, trusting, etc.

HE IS THE BAD GUY. If she is not perfect (but I bet she is as caring as most of us on this website), so what? She was emotionally raped and also experienced financial fraud, suffers anxiety attacks. She deserves 100% support! But Genevieve79, good for you for thinking that way! You are on hyperalert for sociopaths, and so am I, and if we error on the side of being too suspicious once in awhile, it is a whole lot better than the alternative. And if I’m wrong about this woman, so be it, and once in awhile a con gets conned, but usually not!

Ox Drover

Dear Dani,

Sorry for the slow response to your question. MY P-sperm donor didn’t see me between the ages of 2 yrs and 17 yrs. I have ONE vague memory of him being at my grandparents house and me being shy about him (as a stranger) sort of hiding behind the door and looking at him. I never saw him again until one day when I was barely 17 he showed up to see me “while passing through town.” Actually he only spent about 10 minutes with me and the rest telling my mom what a BIG SHOT he was and I think that was the most of the reason for him coming there. The “blindsiding” us all and showing up out of the BLUE was very TRAUMATIC for me, and I cried and I cried (not sure why I was crying but I was)
He didn’t show back up again for another year, not one word, but at that time I went to live with him. and I REALLY GOT TO KNOW HIM, and that he was EVIL.

I spent the next 10 years healing from my 2 yrs of living with him. Trying to figure out the license number of the truck that had hit me head on. It was only decades later I found out what it was….a psychopath but by then I was dealing with another generation, my own P son. My son is very much like my father in many ways, he glories in being a “bad ass” and seeks attention and to “impress” others with himself and his “famous grandfather” who actually wouldn’t have peed on him if he had been on fire! LOL But my P-son is not even aware enough to know that his P-sperm donor one generation removed (i.e. grandfather) wouldl have not even spit on a convict like him! LOL LOL ROTFLMAO

Genevieve79

Cheers for your responses bulletproof and neveragain. Normally I would have instantly felt sorry for her but yeah I guess I am starting to read between the lines alot more lol! =D I noticed a few things in her story that made me feel it was a good idea to play devils advocate, express what I was thinking and to see what you guys thought about that.
Something you said resonated with me neveragain about the conman sometimes being the conned. Interesting that, I wonder if that does happen? I suppose it does (anything in this universe is possible really!) but it’s fascinating to think about how often it happens and in what way. Can a seasoned conperson be conned? Excellent question! 😉 xxx

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