By | August 25, 2010 18 Comments

Donna Andersen on ‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry?’

Donna Andersen, author of and the new book, Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, was featured in the Press of Atlantic City today. The article mentions her appearance tonight in Who the Bleep Did I Marry?, 10 p.m. on the Investigation Discovery channel.

Read After losing her heart and her money to a con man, A.C. woman tells her story to help others, on

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And the winner of this year’s Emmy for star of a reality series is…Donna Andersen!!!

Donna, great job! I listened to your story and once again was struck by how many similar themes run through all our stories.

I’m not normally a fan of reality TV, but your episode should be broadcast daily as a public service announcement. Two friends of mine, both of whom have siblings whose spouses are, based on what they have told me, I believe to be sociopaths, have called me because I alerted them to your episode and told me how much your story finally helped them make sense of and name what they have been witnessing with respect to their in-laws behavior. I predict a big uptick in LoveFraud traffic.

And on the personal front, my hope for you is that this episode is broadcast in Australia and New Zealand. Hourly. Again, as a public service announcement.

Job well done. Mission accomplished. Congratulations.

super chic

Donna, you were fabulous on Who the Bleep Did I Marry?

I just finished reading your book a few days ago…
and the book is fabulous too!!

I loved the way you looked in the last few seconds of the
TV program… you looked TRIUMPHANT !!!!!
You looked proud, strong, happy… and I know you are!!

Oh, and your Dad! God Bless him! Justified homicide, right on baby!

Ravenless Tower


I suspect, were I to continue to watch this series, I would see a pattern of sociopathic behavior not unlike that of James Montgomery.

As I watched, I saw shreds of the shell of a man I was involved with – though he was never really involved with me, as you point out. The stories, as Matt indicated, are comprised of a recurrent theme – one solid thread that runs through each and that is this: there are people who walk and talk and live among us who are simply not human as we empaths understand humanity. They are takers… predators… and self-righteous abusers who feel entitled to have what they want, no matter the cost to others because others do not matter to them. Parents, siblings, spouses, children… all pawns in their sick, twisted little games to satisfy their emptiness.

It is horrible that you went through what you did, though I am so happy to hear of your marriage and the joy in your life now. I, too, have moved past my situation, though it seems I still have new realizations of my past ignorance based in a desire to be loved. Of course, THAT isn’t love, is it?

Like you, I never loved towerraven, I loved the “pretend guy” that he knew I needed him to be – a role that he played very well. I told him once he was not a very good actor, and he was so amused by that… it confused me at the time because I was “in love” and had not seen the mask slip – yet.

Now, when I look back it is with humor at the caricature of the man he thinks he is, and with sadness at the fact he never existed as I saw him. Still, my life is better for having known him, because those of us who recover from relationships like this that learn where our weaknesses lie, and how others exploit them.

Thank you for sharing your story!



Congrats Donna, I have spoke with you personally and you explained your horrible experience with James Montgomery, my husband’s ex is the female version of your ex…we sympathize, but boy, did you get even…I am glad to hear you have found True love…you go girl! God Bless
I hope some day justice will prevail in our direction, I used to want to be the one to get even, then I took my power back…now I just want a front row seat when she gets what’s coming to her form the “Higher Power”!

Ravenless Tower

You know Donna, I thought of that while I was falling asleep last night… It’s as though we are idiots who should have known – but with this personality type they never are what they seem – charm is their initial calling card. When they can so easily glean who we are and what our wants and needs are it’s just plain predatory.

It would be great if they could have a psychologist weigh in… It was clear you were not allowed to say P or S or N!




Donna said, “The only complaint I had was the guy they picked to portray my ex in the re-enactments. If my ex was as slimy as the actor, I certainly would have seen through the con. But James Montgomery was much better than that.”

Donna, I hope you told the producers that they missed the mark in choosing your ex for the re-enactment of your story.
Whoever was in charge of casting your ex in the re-enactments on this show may have imposed his own vision of what a sociopath looks like, and it’s not entirely accurate.

I think most of the general public is operating under the false notion that you can spot “slimy” and “crazy” coming from a mile away.

And the truth is you CANNOT!!

Many of these con artists are very well dressed, educated, charming, and articulate.

I don’t think people really have a grasp at how well put together some of these disordered personalities are.

When someone is attractive and appealing to all of our wants/desires, it’s very easy to miss or dismiss the subtle red flags.

I think that’s partly why so many socios are able to get away with their cons for so long….sometimes for their entire lives.

One of the first things I had to do (or undo) when I first started learning about sociopaths was throw out all of my pre-conceived notions and ideas about what a predator looks & acts like.

I think it’s important to start from a blank slate, and analyze each person who comes at you based on your gut instinct, their words vs. their actions, the LOGIC of what they are telling you & not just what they are saying, and any other red flags that you may see.

Let the other person REVEAL themselves on their own, as opposed to imagining what you would like that person to be in your head.

Awareness before narcissism….meaning don’t let your own opinions, beliefs, and ideas skew the REALITY of what is ACTUALLY right in front of you.



Your hard and tireless work has reached a pinnacle. And it will NEVER be done.

How is it that Date Mrs Robinson and Date your neighbor at date show up on THIS page? I find it curious. Especially when they are targeting men with pretty young women scantly clad….

I suspect, it will make you FURIOUS. I hope it does. Do we need to talk to Google Ads?




You make good points in your most recent post.


Thanks, BlueJay.


There are so many fakes and cons in the world that it is amazing. It is like more and more… like you can’t trust much of anyone or anything that they say.. and certainly not when meeting someone over the internet..

Mama Mia

Please, pick me for one of your next episodes …..


wow that’s awesome, lovefrauders of the world unite and take over!


Donna – thanks for posting the info re the ads. you’ve done a lot to protect the site; there is LOTS of doo on the net!

I will email names as they come up.

one step


Dear Donna, I had no idea that you would be on the show. I like to watch these types of show to help my awareness towards PS’s…so when I watched I didn’t really know it was you until you were talking about how a woman can be so intelligent and still be taken (not your words exactly)….I said to my friend, Hey, wait a minute, I think this is Donna!!!! and I was very excited to hear your story…..Wow…..thanks for all you have done for everyone here…and for the lost souls out there…..hopefully finding their way here too…..


‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry’ is now available on Netflix. Donna’s story is ‘The Don Juan Down Under’.Sorry if it was already posted. Shalom

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