By | August 18, 2010 49 Comments

Donna Andersen to star in the premiere episode of ‘Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?’

Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry? Many Lovefraud readers have asked themselves that question. Next week, I ask—and answer—the question on national television.

Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry? is a new show airing on the Investigation Discovery network. “Pulling back the curtain on bizarre double lives, this series examines stories of men and women who thought they were happily married until the day they uncovered a shocking secret about their spouse,” states a press release from the Discovery Network.

In an episode entitled Don Juan Down Under, I talk about my ex-husband, James Montgomery, who presented himself as a dashing Australian entrepreneur, but turned out to be a bigamist con artist. The Discovery Network thought the story was so compelling that it selected my show to be the premiere for the new series.Some Lovefraud readers have told me that they’ve already seen promos for the show on the Investigation Discovery channel, although I haven’t.

In TV listings, the Investigation Discovery channel is referred to as ID. The program will air as follows:

  • Wednesday, August 25, 10 p.m.
  • Thursday, August 26, 1 a.m.
  • Saturday, August 28, 4 p.m.

The following week, the show will tell the story of Mary Jo Buttafuoco, who was shot in the head by her husband’s teenage lover back in 1992.

Read the Discovery Network press release.

See clips from the show.

View TV listings and sign up for an e-mail reminder.

Love Fraud available on Amazon soon

Coincidentally, the day of the TV show, August 25, 2010, is also the official publication date for my book, Love Fraud. As of August 25, you’ll be able to buy the book on

Much to our surprise, is already discounting the book. Although it was disconcerting—we have no control over the price they set—we take this as a sign that Amazon believes the book will do well. Therefore, we have also reduced the book’s price in the Lovefraud Store. It now costs the same as it did during our pre-order special. And, if you buy another book at the same time, you’ll save an additional 10%.

Love Fraud will also be available on other online retailers and in bookstores, although we’re not sure exactly when that will happen.

I can’t wait to see the show.

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Ox Drover

WOW!!!! DONNA!!! How exciting! I don’t have cable but I will sure go visit someone who does! Can’t wait to see it!!! Gosh, on top of coming out with your new book you’re gonna be “famous” woman!!! What a wonderful teaching opportunity to get the word out about psychopaths, the book and Lovefraud blog! You GO GIRL!!!!! TOWANDA!!!!


Keep on getting the word out! Sociopaths are everywhere…….we all know them and we all have the capacity to be harmed by them.
It’s not just the ‘stars’ of the world…’s the ‘normal’ peeps like us too!

It’s important to educate as you are…..I hope the end result of the discovery show mentions SOCIOPATHS and the behaviors to spot!

Congratulations on your success and your tenacity to keep on keepen on girl!

kim frederick

Yay Donna. That is so cool. I can’t wait to see it. I have seen promos and thought it sounded like a great show, but it’s going to be even better with you telling your story.


That is so cool Donna! After I post this I am going to DVR the program so I won’t miss it!
I received my signed copy of your book (#40) and plan to kick back with it this weekend at the beach….I have been saving it for my vacation book and it has been difficult not to delve into it right away.
Today I emailed my sister the article “10 Signs That You’re Dating a Sociopath”….she recently discontinued a 3 year relationship, and was upset about it but knew she did the right thing, but was feeling very disconcerted about the break-up.
After she read the article she emailed me…..”WOW! Ego, high testosterone, overly attentive, charisma, know-it-all. He’s classic! The ‘predatory stare’ is freaky and so true! It’s that delusional look in his eyes when he is lecturing about how great he is. My God….”
I am sure you will be gaining another LF club member. 🙂
Thank you Thank you Thank you for this wonderful site, and all the wonderful people here, who share their stories and their strength.


Congratulations! Way to get the word out! Hope you isp is prepared for all the hits this site will get! Woo hoo!

Ox Drover

Dear heartmoonstar,

Hey, sista’ welcome back! Glad to see you posting. Hope all is well with you! (((hugs)))))


Thanks Oxy!

I can’t remember the last time I posted….maybe January…but I have been reading some of the articles when the LF email appears in my inbox.
It’s been a lot more of the same stuff but I did have a win in court this month. The X must replace the funds he pilfered from our minor son’s college acct, plus pay a couple thousand of my attorney fees…..a small win but a win nontheless. As you are probably wondering right now….no, he has not yet paid the funds back or the fees. I am wondering what will happen if he refuses to pay by the date certain…it is a waiting game at this point.
BTW, the X married his divorce atty….hmmmm. Does a marriage of two S’s to each other work out….? I have always thought she jumped into the fray to get his moolah…now I know for sure.
Anyway, I always wish I had more time to spend here and catch up with everything, but that won’t happen unless I stay here reading 24/7 for a month solid (at least!) 🙂
I see EB is still kickin’ butt….I read her saga about the friend of the spath that wanted to “rent” her watercraft….was she on to him! Gave me the giggles!
I hope you are doing well too! Xxoo

Ox Drover

Pretty good, heartmoonstar, GLAD YOU at least got a JUDGMENT, whether you collect it or not! It is at least a moral victory!

A marriage of two psychopaths is what I call a “gasoline and fire” relationship and I hope that they explode and my guess is they WILL! Let us know and we will dance around the bonfire with you! (((Hugs))))


Wow. What great timing with the book. Congrats! Boy could you ever imagine this would be your life when you were going through that nightmare? ANd that all these people would want to hear YOUR story? I did see you on a Tv special, but don’t remember the show, just remember the interview. It is why I respected Love Fraud so much, you’ve been there. Stuff that sounds bizarre to other people, unfortunately you know happens way too often.

If anyone can suggest, I don’t have cable. Is there an internet way to see this show? (Weird but ya’ll understand, when I left my s-path, I went underground and will remain as hidden as possible until the divorce is final. SO weird to have almost no friends and certainly no friends who know MY story, so I can’t go to a friend’s house to see it.)

Thanks if anyone has a solution!

Dani S

Ok I couldn’t stay away, I missed the place to much & I am over the other thread cuffuffle, Thanks BloggerT!

I hope somebody You tubes it as I will never get to see it over here & I would love to see it. So important to get these stories out and educate the public….

Well done heartmoonstar! You may never see the money like I didn’t but as Oxy said it is a Moral victory!

I do hope you see the money tho! 🙂

Ox Drover

Dear Dani,

Welcome back!~ The thing is that we must not let anyone or anything stand between us and our healing path! Sometimes when we get triggered, that happens, though, but as soon as we calm down, we need to get back to controlling our own life and not RE-acting to others in a self defeating way.

We are going to continue to run into things and people that trigger us, or devalue us, or attempt to degrade us, but we must not let that happen. We have to take back CONTROL of our feelings and our lives. The set backs we have along the road are just that “set backs” but not, NOT, defeat. I’ve been triggered and melted down, once years ago was devastated by a personal attack here on LF (they happen rarely) by a person who was disordered here, posing as a victim herself, and almost left LF because I was so hurt. At the time I was in such an early phase of my healing I just felt horrible.

Now, I am much less a potential victim for another’s disordered projections of their own bad behavior and thinking on to me. I am more able to validate myself, my own opinion, and my own behavior. Sure, I’m not perfect, and I do dumb things still, but I’m much more able to recognize if the dumb is me, or someone else’s attempts at projection on to me.

These set backs are LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES, so utilize it as such! Welcome back! Glad you are here!!! ((((Hugs))))


Totally Cool concerning the TV show!


Wow, what exciting news for the show 🙂 Congratulations! I hope its available online, I’ll be on vacation next week and unable to see the episodes on TV! Have a great weekend everyone!

Dani S

Thank you Oxy, you are right, the incident was definitely a trigger. Dealing with Aggressive self righteous peeps always throws me back but I must learn to rise above and keep growing stronger.

I can’t believe you had such a terrible experience on here, I am so glad you didn’t go anywhere, your input is invaluable and you are a comfort for so many.

And don’t we all dumb ass things? LOL We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t!

I gave up smoking a week ago, it is going well, helps that I have tonsillitis. I took up smoking 18 months ago when I was not coping, but it is now time to take control of my life and my emotions. After smoking I will concentrate on the emotional eating LOL
All the best 🙂

Ox Drover

Dear Dani,

I used the nicotine replacement but I had smoked a long time. I quit about a year ago, actually can’t remember the exact date. I quit the nicotine replacement a few months ago, kind of tapered off. Long term I thinki the N replacement may not be good for your body, but even then it might be better than the smoking+Nicotine. In any case, there is little desire now for nicotine or smoking.

I too have some of the stress-eating or comfort-eating, but am working on that as well. Have cut dopwn on the exercise because of the terrible dangerous heat here this year, so far the hottest summer on record since they started keeping records over 100 yrs ago.

I am glad you are doing better, and cheet happens so don’t take it personally. We must learn to validate ourselves and not to let someone else’s rant be taken personally, especially on a blog.

I know it is difficult especially in the early stages, but best to just post around them and not even address them. Sometimes I still get frustrated with bloggers who keep on hitting themselves in the head with a hammer and complaining their head hurts, over and over and over, but I’m starting to deal with MY feelings along those lines too.

I know one thing I don’t know all of the answers, I don’t even know all the QUESTIONS so just do the best you can and give yourself leeway to be human and make mistakes. The Lord knows I’ve made more than my share and continue to do so. Wouldn’t be human if I didn’t and there is no commandment that I know of in the 10 commandments to “be perfect or else” LOL We can work toward perfection but we AIN’T GONNA GET THERE! Not in this lifetime at least! (((Hugs)))))

Hi Donna,

I just set my DVR for the 25th at 10 PM; however, the guide summary is saying that Mary Joe followed by the Cuban story will be the first two to air. Love your book! Thank you for all you do. Let me know if you hear anything differently about the date and time. Sandra

Wow, Donna. Really terrific news. Congratulations!


I’m glad you chose to stick around…..
I think we all find things that trigger us at LF…..but the bottom line is….if we ‘deal’ with those triggers as they come up….and remember to not take anything personally…..we will be better off.
These triggers are personal issues that tell us we still have work to do.

I think they are a ‘good’ thing….in the end. (depending on how we handle them).
We can turn a frown upside down!!!!

I remember back to things and posters who have had experiences or opinions which triggered me……if I just backed away and looked inside….it was very telling for me.

Quite honestly……I would rather have triggers from/with my online buds, then in real life……I can go through it and work it from my own private space……and no one get’s the ‘pleasure’ of my outward anger/emotions/reactions in public.
It’s been very healthy for me. 🙂

We’ve all been through so much pain, we’ve all made decisions we maybe wouldn’t ‘today’….but we are all here to grow and learn and be supported.
Sometimes support comes in a straight forward and direct post.

I think learning hwo to communicate and interpret others interests in us is vital to our futures.
LF gives us a good ‘practice’ ground to learn about this.
We are in good company here, with people who are understanding………

None of us are perfect…..and if you don’t appreciate a certain poster……don’t read them…..or read and don’t respond……whatever….
I’ve noticed certain posters through the years…..grow and grow…..when I maybe didn’t appreciate some of their views or attitudes in the beginning……I sure love to see everyone grow along the journey!
It’s reflective of my own journey.


BTW…..good going on kicking the smoking habit!!!!! Don’t need more problems to complicate our lives……cancer sucks!

Dani S

Thank Oxy, sorry to hear you are having such a hot one over there. Do you live in Fire risk area? We had a stinker of a summer 2 years ago and consequently had our most devastating bush fire’s on record. We sat on my mother’s porch and watch 6 fires fronts sweep through, one was less than 1km away. The fire storm winds were up to 150 km a hour to fast and too quick to out run. Nearly 200 hundred people died that day and thousands lost everything.

Stay Safe & the exercise can wait! lol….. Well done on the non smoking, I have smoked on and off for about 20 years, I am looking forward to finally kicking the habit, such a dumb thing to do anyway really, But I have eaten a hand full of marshmellow’s because I heard that is what Madonna eats, so surely they are not fattening if she eats them lol I also ate a cherry ripe, which is not good and no one eats them and stay’s thin……
Dam Comfort eating! it is like I blank out for a couple of seconds and nothing registers and before I know it I look like Homor Simpson with dribble down the corner of my mouth!

EB thanks for your message, I really appreciate it and you are right, all it show’s is how much learning and growth I still have ahead of me. Which sux when you are actually thinking you are doing well LOL
I know I am a gazillion miles of where I were so I will just keep plodding along….

My mother said to me not long again, why do you spend so much time on LF and I said to her ” you will never understand” because I still really don’t understand what happened to me but I know I want to be there… And my lordy it is cheaper than therapy and I believe I get more from here these days anyway. Not to discredit therapy because in the beginning that was the only thing that worked for me but now my happy place is LF…

And EB as you said about Cancer I was thinking the other day I took the dam things up again because I was not coping with the spath… He killed me emotional for a while but I didn’t want him to kill me physically. He would love it if I died, I only have to look at our little girl and she is so worth not getting sick for because if anything happened to me I couldn’t cope with the thought that she might have to go to him to be raised! Not that we know where he is or he know’s were we are, it is not worth the risk of him ruining another innocent soul!
Hope all is going along well for you EB! and thank you to you both and the hand full of others that make the journey of growth and strength more enjoyable x 🙂

Ox Drover

about half the state is in fire ban area now and there have been some small wild land fires near here but nothing big this year.

We had an extremely wet spring and previous winter and then in June the rain essentially STOPPED and the heat turned up to fry and trees are turning leaves and dropping them, my lawn looks like dry dust (grass just withered and disappeared, it is GONE) leaves are covering the grass now and lower limbs are dying on trees.

But at least we are not like northern CA or Russia, 20% of Russia has burned and wheat prices have gone up 157% since June, their crop which they used to export won’t feed their citizens this year, and so much of the country has burned. Pakistan has 20% flooded, with millions of people and three crop years destroyed and the infrastructure destroyed and people angry and desperate, sick and hungry and without clean water and no way to actually get to them because of weather in many cases. Haiti is devastated, so no matter what happens here we are better off than those areas of the world, and Africa is almost a total disaster of horror and famine right now, or civil war.

So I try to count my blessings and realize that we have so much to be thankful for…and it keeps me from dwelling on my own aches and pains and losses so much, which keeps me out of the dumps a bit too.

It amazes me daily what strong people the bloggers here are and what we have been through and survived—maybe not a major earthquake or tornado, but chaos of a big magnitude in any case! So TOWANDA for us! We are starting to take care of ourselves, in several ways—so you are doing great and don’t you forget it. ONE step in the right direction is still progress!

Dani S

You are so very right Oxy! and this is why here is so important, yes we are lucky, there are people all over the world starving, homeless and in despair, richer country’s try to send aid but it is slow…..
Here we send aid to each other, we are only a small group but we also know despair, many of us have ended up homeless like myself battered and traumatised by our experiences but we have hope. Something that we didn’t always feel and something people all over the world in desperate need of help from natural disasters feel they don’t have when the initial disaster hits.
I dont think too many people on this planet get clear sailing from bad things and hopefully everyone finds there aid when they need it…….
We are not starving, we are sheltered. All we need is something to do, something to love and something to look forward to! And while we are doing those things we have each other!:)


Life IS learning and growth! You are doing well……your on the journey.
As I approached 40 and went through all the medical crap along with spath crap realization……I learned I will continue to grow… matter how much I learn! 🙂
The more I learn…..the more I learn…… (and trust me, I learned about stuff I never wanted to know or knew existed close to me!)
Life is like driving….we get on the frwy, we get off….we stop at a store, we go to the beach, we go home, we leave again…..we are constantly on the move……so is the learning/growing process…..
So… long as your moving…..learn…..we just never arrive at the ‘learned’ destination….because it doesn’t exist! Or maybe that is death? Who knows……

What you say about your daughter is exactly how I felt, and what pulled me to the next hour/day of my illness AND spath realization……at times it was very bleak! BUT……I KNEW…if I died…..spath would be the one to raise the kids…..and they wouldn’t have a chance!
I wasn’t going to let HIM kill me.
He tried…..inadvertantly….or covertly……
I decided I wasn’t afraid of dying…..and if I died…..then I had been a good mother and my kids KNEW the lessons in life…..I was a good wife……and I was a good person……I lived a good life in my own right…
I took away that fear of dying…..if it was my time…..then so be it….
BUT…..I wasn’t going to let spath kill me! At least NOT without a damn good fight, where the trail would be clear.

He filed for divorce when I was at me weakest point. I had just filed the TPO and once extended….he filed on against me…and was denied….so then he filed for Divorce.
He ‘thought’ I would not be able to go through a legal ordeal…..BUT…he sadly underestimated me.
I used it to my benefit….I wouldn’t recommend going this route….but I had no choice.
SO… I recuperated in seclusion, after radiation…..I researched….and researched……and organized…..and plotted.
And I hit him between the eyes AND the in the balls!!!!

I’m sure he was like….damn….how’d she have the energy for that……WELL….HE INFUSED IT IN ME. I learned how to be a spath…..and farked him right back!
I used every tactic…..but twisted it…..back on him!

It was the ‘backatchababe’ approach!

Anyways…….don’t be hard on yourself…..I soooooo beleive…..EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON….and it’s up to us to see the reason or at least trust the process. ‘It’ will be revealed soon enough.

Keep on keepen on Dani…..your on the right freeway.


My kids needed me…..and it wasn’t my time.

Dani S

The ultimate Backspath EB! well done! You probably underestimated your self too. What a wonderful victory when we undo them….
Although I was not physically sick after I left the spath I was emotionally. He tried to break me, silence me with bullying, lies and cruelty. He had done this to all his ex’s so he was free to take off with there money.
But I fought back with everything I had left in me as well. We took him down through the legal system.
He was kicked in the balls by my barrister and the judge and we were in and out of court for over 12 months, in the end he didn’t even turn up to court!
I didn’t get all my money back but boy did we get a moral victory…. He couldn’t handle it and hated me for it, so much so he went around telling everyone that would listen that our daughter wasn’t even his lol that is why he never wanted to see her……………
Him saying that alone was what gave me the strength at the time to keep going and bring him down, I thought you can make up lies about me but it is unforgivable that you would about your own daughter for what ever pathetic gain he was trying to achieve at the time…..
Telling everyone she wasn’t his I guess gave him in his mind the right to never have to see me or her again. He ruined his other 2 daughters to other women so at least he will never have the opportunity to hurt this one as she was 6 months old the last time he saw her.
I think, and I would think you would be the same, after this we can get through anything… How strong they made us, how more aware and educated they made us, I wont thank them for that but I am glad I am a evolving human being. I dont like to be a victim, I like to turn crap into knowledge, knowledge into empowerment & the biggest thing Learning & not repeating… Even tho I love learning & growing I did kinda love living in a world prior to meeting him where spath’s only lived in the movies and they were not that really real lol :)!



I was actually ‘bracing’ for the….kids aren’t mine….at tack.
He never went’ that far. He stopped at ‘she died’.

He did offer to sell me the kids for 80K. I pay him 80K and I could have full legal custody.
I think for a moment he thought we were living in a country…..where selling children was more acceptable.

Dani….listen to you……how strong you ARE!

Dani S

Who tries to sell their kids at any price, oh that’s right a spath!
God they make me so mad!
I probably would have paid mine off for our baby but I knew it was only a matter of time before he would just disappear and I wouldn’t have to worry.
EB does your ex see your kiddies? Or is he awol like my ex?
I would think mine tells his next victims that he doesn’t even have kids, much easier that way than to have to explain anything!
Just low life dogs arn’t they.
I am sorry you had to face a morality scare with your illness and I prey that you are C free! It is my biggest fear getting sick when I have a child to a spath! We simply dont have the luxury to leave our babies behind. I honestly felt if I stayed with the spath any longer I would end up physically ill, he was eating me alive.
Gee it must of peeved your ex to know not only did you recover from your illness you went and kicked him where it hurts too!
I love that, that is victory!
You know my ex used to say to me all the friggin time “Just kill your self Dani” If I had a dollar for everytime he said it, I would be one wealthy women now lol… He so desperately wanted me to kill myself, then he could play the poor widow of the mentally ill wife! Glad I never gave the bastard the pleasure 😛


No…..he hasn’t seen the kids in over 2.5 years.
The TPO and court orders physically kept him at bay…..but most of all the kids want NOTHING to do with him.

I think he ‘cried’ foul to some….but the fact he has an 18 year old who doesn’t contact him…..might raise a few questions in peeps minds who he has claimed ‘she’ poisened thekids….it’s her fault.
Uh… got a legal adult son…..and he still isn’t pushing down the doors to see you? OR CALL YOU?

I would imagine at this point, he speaks very little of having kids.

I got a forward from someone last week about what he wrote on FB… was pretty sad….

“John my dad passed the day before my b-day strange this life’!time to give your wife more time your blessed take care of the good things!KEEP DA LOVE!”

This John guy just buried his father that day, and it was Johns birthday. He also said he was to say goodbye to his daughter on Wednesday as she was going off to college.

You’d of thought he was a respectable family man….time to give your wife more??????
Yeah buddy,…….guess you FAILED that one.
Doesn’t anyone ask the ‘next’ question………as spath (if jr. graduated) should have had a jr. also leaving for college?

Does he really think he can relate to people? This guy? Any guy????

Dang…..thank god he’s got to live with himself…..and I DON”T!!!!!!

BTW….I am doing fine with my health….ThANKS!

Dani S

Oh how pathetic are they? For god sakes anyone that met my ex initially thought he was the most caring father and husband in the world. Spath used to say when people were around our daughter was the one thing that motivated him in life and she makes his world a place worth living in and he has never been so in love with anything before her! chuck, chuck, vomit, vomit! yer he was so attached to that child yer right!
I think of all the horrible things they do, we are so lucky we do not have to co parent with them and I feel for anyone that is dealing with co parenting with a spath.. Kids always figure it out in the end!
So glad your health is fine EB 🙂 I’m off to bed now, it is my eldest daughter’s birthday tomorrow 11 kids for the day party and 7 sleeping over. I have tonsillitis and feel like I have been hit by a bus so cant say I am looking forward to it lol!


Party down girl!

I hope you feel better!


Congratulations, Donna… Strike a blow for freedom for all of us!


Great job Donna, keep them sweating. Any time you need to verify a suspected fake veteran, don’t hesitate to give us a should at

All the best,

Steve Waterman

Dani S

Donna just watched the link. That is fantastic….. Funny how he thought it reasonable to put (your) rings in his safety deposit box and dob himself in at the same time to all the incriminating evidence. They are so stupid!

I hope James Montgomery know’s you are still exposing him years down the track because that is justice & well deserved!

I love the TV program wish we had one here, I would be knocking the station door down to expose my ex lol
Well done Donna! What a wonderful year you are having on the 5th Anniversary of LF!

Now off to party with 11, 10 year olds…God give me strength!


Our Donna Anderson is a movie star ~ ! and I have an autographed book from her. I am so proud. 🙂


Donna….I would suggest and advise with the best intentions….I feel and have a hunch, intuition, gut response….DO NOT place your identity with this illusion…this idiot …..there is more to it…blessed be


Congratulations Donna! Keep getting the word out! Maybe the world will be rid of some of this evil!


NICE, Donna and a HUGE Congratulations! It’s imperative that the word gets out about these monsters!

The ex just got out of prison last month – all the while he was in prison, he called and called…I didn’t answer, but filed violation after violation of the restraining order…this went on and on for 6 months – nothing happened, nothing changed. So, I changed my number and the phone calls stopped. Now, he’s out and guess WHO he contacted via email? ME! Surprised??? Again, no response from me, again file violation…he waited one month to the day he got out before he contacted me…and he’s contacted twice…with no response from me with the first one, the second contact is more demanding…I can see it escalating. So, more filing…I already know…they aren’t taking it seriously, they think it’s an ex boyfriend/girlfriend spat… – glad word is getting out about these evil people!


James Montgomery picked the WRONG chick to mess with. He must be changing his name and crawling under a rock by now. There is NOTHING a sociopath hates more than having the truth about what they have done exposed to all. Course they will always say it’s lies and we are all “crazy”, but that’s part of their sick little drama game. It’s amazing how many of these despicable people exist and how many of us fall victim to them.


I worry sometimes that he is actually getting air time..every time Donna speaks of him…he is publicised I get creepy feelings sometimes he is actually getting built up by the exposure. I can see him laughing at the “look what she is doing next!” with his other woman or women…bad publicity is never the less publicity…energy spent on HIM…feeding his Dramatic tastes and love of storytelling, I’m reading Donnas book right now and getting to “know” him and I just want to swat him off…he is like a fly in treacle!!! I just cannot stand the creep….he is grotesque…and even using a big grandiose word on him is a waste of time and energy….so what I have to do is keep telling myself this is a story about Donna…NOT him, he is inconsequential to this person now, even though he caused her horrible pain and unacceptable levels of mental torture….Donna has been treated appallingly by this moron..and I do not think he deserves any limelight good OR bad….my humble o…if She could only tell the story without Him in it!! ha ha that would be safer

what bothers me is…the slimy rat makes for a good adventure story and I don’t want him to!! there…I’ve said it. Sorry for blabbling on no doubt very annoyingly…but I’m in 2 minds about how “great” all the limelight actually is….it makes HIM great…and he is nothing more than a boring sad dangerous sociopath trying to pass as exciting…..ok stopping now


I guarantee you, he’s not enjoying the publicity. It warns too many people to be aware of his con. They want the world to think what an accomplished, great guy they are. When we blow their cover, that’s the worst thing we can do to them. That’s why they react so strongly to being “busted”. They are used to a very certain charade. They have a very honed act. By outing them, they have to come up with an entirely new gig. This is annoying to them, because they’ve worked for years to deliver such a smooth performance. That’s why when we find out the truth and have a chance to compare notes with other victims, we discover they’ve been using all the same lines on us all. So this guy is not enjoying the limelight. He is more than likely struggling to figure out a way to spin the story to make Donna the villain and him the victim. I loved reading how he portrayed her as an “incompetent employee”, to his other victims. We’ve all known what it’s like to be portrayed as something completely other than who we are. I’ve never known a guy who cheats on his wife, who doesn’t report what a horror she is. Then we find out she’s some great looking, fit lady, who is a fabulous mother to beautiful children and a loving wife. Yup a real monster alright. When you get far enough away from it and you are no longer under the spell, you discover how text book these people all are. The thing now is to educate people so they know what to look for, so they don’t have to do one run through with such destruction, in order to learn the hard way. Peace to all here.


limelight for Donna, slimelight for the other one


From my experience with the sociopaths in my life….(business and marriage), they don’t ‘go’ away.
It is extremely effective to keep the heat on them as long as it takes to expose them to the world.
As more and more people see their mask fall, they are provided this public information of the severe wrongs the spaths have committed.
This type of exposure serves to warn so many of the dangers of this person.

It also serves to ‘teach’ the sociopath that “YOU” can’t be messed with……there WILL be follow through and they can’t get away with the behaviors they have grown accostomed to getting away with.

NO….they don’t ‘like’ it…..but by public exposure of the truth….we teach them that they must stay as far away from us and may as well spend the rest of their lives in hiding from us……because the minute we hear of a new ‘issue’……with the facts in hand…..WE WILL EXPOSE!

This disarms them in a way they are NOT used to.

I say…..fight like hell…..and Backspath em to the unth degree……..they will be kicked ‘off balance’ and they just don’t ever know…..the next dupe they con…..might just be another NIGHTMARE for them to make it soooooo not worth their while!

One thing a spath does NOT enjoy… public humiliation….or any humiliation for that matter.

I believe what Donna is/has done is a great service to SO many around the globe.

Blow the lid off of them!

kim frederick

I’m torn on this one. I think it depends on the spath, because I know their are attention junkies in the media who don’t care how they humiliate themselves, as long as they are in the lime-light.

Even some serial killers get off on the attention when they’re arrested. Ever seen the interview with BTK? You’ll never want to watch it again, cause it’s soooo obvious his ego is being gratified every time anyone does.

On the other hand, I agree that most of them abhore being outted. They are invested in appearing above-board and upstanding, normal, good, civic minded, etc. etc, etc, blah blah blah.

My X spath had a way of being glib and charming, even after just committing the most heinious emotional torture, and if he could snow-ball me and get me to “forgive” him, he could emerge from the incident unscathed, as if his conscience, his sence of integrety was inside me. Anybody else experience that?

Ox Drover

I’ve seen them BOTH ways, Kim. Ones that ANY publicity was a WIN and ones that were scared cheetless that someone would say something bad about them that would be believed. My P sperm donor would think some publicity was a WIN but if anyone normal had seen it they would have crawled into a hole and pulled the hole in after them in shame, not him! He didn’t even know it was negative. But at the same time, he was TERRIFIED that someone would tell the truth on him and be believed.

So in a way, he was both ways. I think a lot of time what WE would consider shameful or bad publicity, they consider it good. They just don’t think like we do.


Ya see…’s the ‘end result’ that matters….
Exposure. More people knowing the truth.

Who cares if they like the attention or hate it…..
Anyone with half a mind……(not a spath) see’s it for face value and runs.
Spaths sit back and gloat….I’m a tv star….I’ve got attention…..they just don’t understand THEY are the only ones impressed with themselves.

the public outcome is key……

They have no outward feelings of shame….they’d stick a knife into a bunny at a picnic and announce…..I just got a bunny! (As everyone else around him is astonished and sickened).

kim frederick

I agree, EB, I just wish we could educate the public without them getting their jollies out of it…I wish there was some way to make sure they didn’t get their jollys out of it.

But I guess if people learn about them, and can see them coming, eventually the number of targets will be limited, and much harder to find.


The P did everything in his power to go undetected but something in him got bored… there was a piece of him that wanted the attention…not so much the kind of attention but the SIZE of it….the bigger the better …He did it in an underhand devious way, I got glimpses of it and it was chilling…hair stand on end creepy and deffinitely untouched by any sense of fear…fearless…I sensed a dark side that wanted to express itself but was “under wraps”it’s shameless and very scary but daring me to bring it out…no thanks not on my time.

in a very deliberate attempt to crush me (I guess like garlic to get the most flavour out of me) he applied pressure… said I was mentally ill and unable for rejection when I got upset and started outing him, when I stood up and fought him he went with…ok I was strong…maybe even a better person… He turned THAT around to suit himself… saying so you learned a lesson because of ME so what are you giving out about… responsibility…all blame projected out on others and twisted to fit whatever he fancied.. saying sorry was a ploy… He deliberately escalated the pressure on me because It felt like I wasn’t supplying enough attention for him anymore…I’m talking surface attention…he hated deep attention really or intimacy

the fact remains He is a chamelian to suit himself…look what I did over there…look at the impact I had here….all about him and the size of the pie (energy) I can feel him in my life still..he still feeds on my energy transmissions via just thought…the best thing to get him off is to ignore, focus elsewhere, let go….even forgive and deffinitely forget….

my sense is He unconsciously IS looking for his match, his fellow Spath He wants to be caught because his shadow side is excited by the attention and the challenge.. fame and adulation (yes…lots of sickos would be happy with it no matter what way it comes).. and he will keep going until he is stopped by some force…someone to make a dint in his life because it’s empty….look at the calibre of people on this site…they do not go for weak people now do they, they are attracted to strength because that’s what they want…all your strength!! to hi-jack and plug into…to light up what is for them intolerable emptiness…I say leave them in their emptiness…and keep them away from me…

you know there are also many women out there who would be attracted to him BECAUSE he is bad just so long as he has notoriety because they also seek the drama to feed off, maybe their fantasy is to love someone no one loves etc…look at the prison letter writing scene…they brag and bluff for one reason to build themselves up without it they might have to face something…but as long as there is something to love bomb, pretend to, suck up to, torture, rob, inflict himself on he is ticking over, enabled and laughing all the way to his prison cell..


Like Oxy said…..They don’t think like us.

I use to say that to the spath…..You don’t think like others……you don’t ‘get’ what peeps say to you as intended….

I know for a fact the spath was adversly affected by my backspathing….in numerous ways….

He now reaches for completely new peeps…..because the old are on to him. He hates that. And his acts are always exposed by him sooner now, then when he hid behind his ‘family’….US.
BUT…..there will always be another dupe down the line to be temporarily ready, willing and able to think he’s wonderful and honerable…..worthy of their attention etc….because it’s INATE to believe ALL PEOPLE ARE GOOD.

I believe, to keep my spath away……I had to do what I did…..AND be ready to go further if need be!
I will never let him get away with anything other than staying many states away from me and kids and out of our ‘smell’ zone.

I know my spath lives a life of…..It’s spath or nothing………..
Let’s rethink this…….If it’s me OR you……IT”S GONNA BE ME!!!

My exposure wasn’t about HIM……it was about ME and my kids!
He was the byproduct.

He might have thought he had ‘glory’ with the negative attention…..but in reality……HE”S THE EXPOSED ONE NOW!

Ravenless Tower

Just set up my DVR to record this… looking forward to hearing and seeing YOU tell your story Donna… I know it is all said and done and edited now, so “good luck” is past due, but I wish you well in the aftermath!



Wonderful job, Donna. I see that they would not let you say the word sociopath, or they edited it out.

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