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Dr. Phil: Crisis in the Family Courts

The Dr. Phil show today covered the sad story of Katie:

Two months ago, Katie found herself pleading with a judge to order supervised visits for her ex, Stephen, and their 9-month-old son, Wyatt. When Stephen threatened to kill their son and himself, Katie tried multiple times to get a restraining order. After Katie’s five attempts to get protection from the court, Stephen did exactly as he threatened.

and Stephanie:

“Stephanie,” 17, wanted to speak out on behalf of the kids in the middle of custody battles and court rulings. She says because courts have ignored cries of abuse, some kids are left in the hands of their abusive parent. Stephanie fears this is happening with her younger sister. And, meet another mom who says the court failed her and her two boys.

I intend to order the video and hope you will all show your support by watching and commenting. Crisis in the Family Courts


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28 Comments on "Dr. Phil: Crisis in the Family Courts"

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Elizabeth, you’ve made some excellent points. And, it’s vital that “court-appointed” psychiatrists be well-versed in Cluster B Traits.

When I was doing the custody dance, the spath and I were ordered to attend a psychiatric assessment. I told the psych about the abuse, and then completed the tedious tests that were mandated for the assessment. It lasted for about 2 hours, and that was the one-and-only time that this man ever saw me. I had driven from the Philadelphia area to Roanoke, VA the day before, and would be visiting with my sons that afternoon, and returning either that night or the following morning.

The report came back that “Mr. Jergoff vehemently denies abuse, of any kind…” and that I was, “…so self-absorbed as to be an unintentional danger to (my) children…” Spaths can fool the professionals, without a doubt, and I’m living proof.

Self absorbed? LMAO!!!!! Of course, I was self absorbed! I had to drive 500 mile round trips to attend court-ordered this and that, fruitless hearings, begging for visitations, etc. on an average of one trip every 2 weeks in an 18-month span. My resources were drained from attorney fees and travel expenses. You bet I was self-absorbed, and I don’t apologize for it, either.

Buttons and everyone else.
First, does anyone know if Dr.Phil used the word sociopath. To me it is so important to call it what it is, the word sociopath sounds horrible compared to cluster B.
Second,Buttons, what you said above is exactly what I am afraid of and exactly why I don’t just change the locks on him.

We had a case in Australia last year where a father on a custody visit. Place his 3 children in the car and took them for a drive. He drove to the West Gate Bridge in Melbourne and threw his daughter, little Dracy Freeman aged 4 over the bridge whilst her 2 helpless brother watched on.
The father then drove to the Family Law Courts, sat out the front and waited to be arrested, all the while he threatened his little boys he was going to do the same to them as they sat paralysed with fear in the back of the car.

The shocking part of this is the mother had been in contact with DOCS ( department of children’s services) many times with her concerns that she believed the children were not safe in the fathers care. The mother had built up a large file with the department and for what????
Little Darcy had gone and the boys had witnessed something so horrible that they have to live with for the rest of there lives. The man, there father, the person that is supposed to love them, discarded her like an old rag doll to her death.

Strangely after the event of Little Darcy’s
horrible murder, the lawyer appointed to the case had all the documents from DOCS stolen from there un locked car ??????

This is a problem world wide. And like I have said I will never understand my ex s abandoning all his children (3 to three different women), but it is the best thing he done for us all.

I would have been beside myself or on the run if I was forced to hand over my baby to a man that after I left did everything he could to hurt and torment me. I would not have coped under the same situation some of these women are in.
My heart bleeds for these women that cannot protect there babies 🙁

{{{{{{{{{Justus5}}}}}}} bear hugs, girl. Please, please, PLEASE to not let fear determine the course of your actions. I allowed fear to rule my life for over 15 years, and it only fed the spath monkey what it wanted.

The point of my references to the court systems, attorneys, and the like are, perhaps, to give others a frame of reference with which to work, plan, and document. At some point, spaths will trip on the enormity of their own arrogance, whether it’s in court, or elsewhere. The most important thing that I (and, probably everyone else here) can encourage is to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. The documentation should be free of all judgement or “feelings” and contain only absolute, irrefutable facts: dates, times, subject matter, actions, precise quotes, precise threats (especially, veiled threats), children’s quotes, etc. The next most important thing is to seek an attorney AND therapist/counselor that are familiar with socipathy.

If the severance doesn’t involve divorce and/or children, there is absolutely NO REASON to maintain an open line/vector of communication with the spath – none, not one, not for any reason. The “I wish…” texting ploy was a blatant dropping of the lure for her to text back, “What?” Then, the door to dialogue is opened. Block their numbers, emails, IP addresses, and any other technological vectors that the spath uses. Unfriend, delete, remove, EXCISE them, completely.

Dani, my court experiences were ones of helplessness, frustration, fear, rage, anger, and complete impotence. I lost both of my sons because I “Left (my) man” in the rampant Bible Belt of Southwestern VA. I was a “bad woman” and I was treated as such. Took a long time for me to get past that. I’m okay, today, though! All things happen for A Reason, even if I can’t see or accept the reason.

Wow Buttons! I am so so sorry you lost your sons! But what choice did you have.. I know what it is like to be tainted as someone you are not and trying to fight the devil that just keeps getting stronger everytime you try in vindicate yourself. I know all those feeling you had.
My legal team didn’t believe a word I was saying for a very long time, but I had so much documentation. I had many affidavits from people that had worked with my husband, dated my husband and people who knew my husband personally. All detailing his lying, stealing and cheating that they had witness. I also had affidavits of him quoting to many that his intentions were to kill me.
I had phone records, court papers of applications to the courts for restraining orders. All this was to fight for our baby. He ended up retreating and the dissapearing, I put up a hell of a battle and mind you at a hell of a cost. Of course my husband had crippled us with debt but my parents took on the financial battle, they said ” for once this man will be accountable”.

It is so hard Buttons to put one foot in front of the other when dealing with these people and especially one that has a community behind him like the sounds of yours. Your boys will come back when the time is right and I can’t imagine how horrible it would be to loose your boys but keep soldiering on! This is your life to live, the rest will fall into place just keep looking after and nurturing yourself…
much lv 2 u
Everyone on here inspires me, our stories are different but the same and it’s nice to know we all have somewhere to go. We mighten have all the answers but we all the understanding 🙂

Thank you so much, Dani. One may seek me out, but the other is a full-blown, diagnosed Cluster B, and I cannot allow him back into my life, ever. Of course, I still struggle with this issue, and it will likely be something that I have to manage for the rest of my life. I’m getting better and this site has, as God is my Witness, been more helpful to me in the short time that I’ve been a member than all of the hours of counseling/therapy over the past 25 years.

Yes I too get a lot more out of here than on the couch, gave up on the counseling couch and its much cheaper here lol
Atleast with one of your sons you know what you are dealing with. My mother inlaw died never knowing the answers to why her son treated her so badly. She always thought if she did more, gave him more he would love her more. I am sure he sent her to an early grave, she was so sad and I truly believe its because she had no understanding of her son.
Education sets us free and makes us stronger. You are brave and strong, be proud of taking back your life. big hugs back to you! its late here time for bed for me…thanks for the chats! Nite!

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