Reply To: Spiritual sociopath. Am I wronging him? Am I the problem? How do I move on?



Hi annvr,

I hope things are going better for you now. I think time + no contact can give a lot of insight and clarity and dial down the pain. Very hard to do no contact – I really understand that in my own situation too. What I’ve found helpful is confiding in trusted friends and family. I don’t know about you, but for a while I was protecting my relationship to the person in question and therefore hiding what was going on from people who really cared about me.

If you have people in your life you trust to be kind and compassionate with you, but objective and insightful about the person troubling you – those are the people to go to now. I keep thinking that these sociopaths, narcissists – whatever type of predator – are very adept at exploiting emotional vulnerabilities. It’s very easy to go back to the alluring things they seem to offer, forgetting that their secret deal is unacceptable to you. If you have to write a list of the things about this person that troubled you and stick it up on the wall, please do it. I made a list called ‘For When You Miss Him’ and printed it out so I could remind myself of the truth every time I felt that pull towards him. I still wavered, but not much. Maybe try that?

Good luck and don’t be hard on yourself.

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