lf2

Reply To: Hi – I'm a sociopath.

#39910

winterk
Participant

Mine kept insisting it’s PTSD.
Yes, he has thrown out a few hints to me. He would tell me he couldn’t be a sociopath because he had empathy for the handicapped or other sick veterans.
The really cruel one was when he “dedicated” a song to me. The One I Love, by REM. I got the underlying meaning immediately. Told him how dark and manipulative he was… making it very clear to me that I’m “A simple prop to occupy my time” Actually I listened to it over and over to get over him. Made me feel in control in a way.I wrote him a very nasty email using the lyrics in the body of the message. He played dumb and said he thought it was a love song, but commended me on an excellent email.

I must confess I have participated in the mind games knowingly. It was fun for awhile. I kept waiting for him to admit he has APD…
Now he’s way too needy and not the person who I thought he was in the beginning so I am no longer interested. He didn’t play his cards right with me. I was an easy target initially but my common sense kicked in. He thought triangulating with other women as a threat would get me to take action and “claim” him. That failed miserably with me. I kept telling him I’m glad he has someone else since I’m not available. He mentioned how much other women were after him. I knew different. He stays in his house for weeks at a time just sleeping and playing online. He told me once that he was attracted to me for my love of living. When we were together and he was at his “best” he never came up to par except in the bedroom.

It sounds crazy but I do miss him…not the parts that drove me away of course but the person he presented himself to be. He was very bright, had a funny sense of humor and wrote brilliantly…especially about us. He was my ideal. I know he studied me and tried to become that person to me. On texts and emails he was…but when we were together I was disappointed…had an emptiness…he always blew it. When he went into a rage once he scared me…that ended it for me. I can tolerate a lot but not bullying and yelling. I knew exactly what I was dealing with at that point and was smart enough not to let it escalate into something physical. It was if the mask fell off and I saw the real him. So sad because I loved him.


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