Reply To: I'm new here and could do with some support/advice or clarification please.



Thank you so much Stargazer,

I get really upset when I think that I was struck down with this disease at the age of 32, just when I was ready to start a new big chapter in my life. Everyone has commented about how I need to focus on my recovery and that has helped a great deal.
I’ve thought a lot about what you said about internalising all the stress from his irresponsibility and bad behaviour. That’s exactly what happened. One minute I had been walking on air for a year after finding my Prince Charming, when the truth came out and I discovered the deception I had a physical feeling of being rotten inside and sick with worry. It was six weeks later that I was hospitalised on a cardiac unit.

I’m trying to shift my emotions from his to me. Trying to stop pining after him and start loving me and being kind to me. The bit that is hard is the grieving for what i thought my future was going to be. Husband, children, continued development in my career. Instead I must accept that my life is now entirely different. I have to live with my parents as I am very sick, I may have to sell my home and I am about to be medically retired from my dream job at the age of 35. I’m working on acceptance of this and it will take time, but thank you. In times of great physical pain I read these replies and messages and it gives me comfort and strength and permission to look after myself.

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