Reply To: Hi – I'm a sociopath.



“Me”, you said: “life, emotions, feelings, happiness, pain, joy, everything. It’s all just a system. The sadness I felt was just chemicals and electrical signals in my brain. They weren’t tangible — they don’t exist in physical space. They are just things my brain does to occupy itself as it experiences the world.”

I would love to be like that. To me happiness, pain, joy etc “make” me do things I know in my gut are not good for me (like giving the benefit of the doubt to pathological liars one too many times). In my work situation I had a feeling I was dealing with a sociopath (she mirrored me A LOT, which was the “tell” for me), but I STILL gave her the benefit of the doubt, so of course she got to my big boss and told a whopper about me that he believed.

My “conscious” inclination to be fair and give the benefit of the doubt and ignore my gut feeling of “danger” damaged me professionally. Do you think next time (there will always be a next time) I should disengage at the gut feeling stage rather than wait for the final confirmation? Waiting for the final confirmation is what makes me come out as a loser every time with Spaths because I have feelings of “fairness” and “justice” and I force myself to act on these before I act on my gut feelings of “run!!!”.

Do you think brain chemicals and electrical impulses are preventing people from leaving the Spath at the “gut feeling” stage that something is not right? You have decided not to be a slave to brain chemicals and electricity. Is one way to combat Spath’s intents also NOT to succumb to feel good brain chemicals?

Coming back to my work situation, is there any way I could have got out of my toxic work relationship with a skilled s’path without being damaged? I think that even if I had left when I first got a gut feeling, the S’path would have caused the same damage (e.g., “Madelaine left for no reason” or “She abandoned the project”, or “I am SO CONCERNED about Madelaine’s mental state. She just disappeared.”

Is there ANY good way to leave a relationship with a sociopath and end up unscathed in relationships with people who believe the sociopath? Is there any good timing between gut feelings and the act of leaving? Is there anything targets can say to prevent triangulation from occurring?

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