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Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time

#40132

jaybird
Participant

I broke my phone the night before New Years Eve (we were fighting over it) and I have not gotten it fixed intentionally so I would not receive the many many hurtful texts and pictures of him with other women or us or whatever. We do not have children together, thank God! Over the last year I have been breaking ties we have together. We do not live together anymore. He still finds something though. He would find a way into the house and go through my computer, my house phone, my clothes, the trash, everything over and over… I think to find that I have cheated on him, which I never have. He still comes here to check up on me. He came here twice yesterday. At least he was not enraged or violent. I hate to say it but it was a weird comfort to see him. But he only stayed briefly thank goodness! He called my house phone at 3 am but I didn’t answer. He is seeing someone else and I should be cheering but it still hurts. I hope he does the same to her so people will not think that I am crazy. I know that’s terrible to say. I just don’t want to think it was just me. I am lonely right now. I have let him isolate me from friends. He has sent them hurtful messages and I have separated myself from them so they won’t be a target. I am tired and I want to be better. I want to see him for what he really is! I miss the illusion I guess. I am still infected with that. Its so hard to understand that they cannot get better. He is also suffering from addiction which is hard to see. But he is his own person. I can’t fix him. I just have to keep reminding myself! I just keep reading. That helps


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