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Reply To: Broke up with narcissist and started no contact, having a really tough time

#40135

AnnettePK
Participant

Jaybird,

What you describe is pretty typical of the disordered. Exploiters prey on women who are lonely or having health challenges or the like, because we are vulnerable.

Blaming you for everything and twisting reality to make something your fault is what he does. It has nothing to do with you. He would blame and accuse and twist reality no matter what you do, if you were perfect. It’s an abuser’s technique for controlling his victim and to divert the focus away from the awful things he really does do.

It looks like he’s ‘moving on’ quickly, but he never bonded with anyone in the first place. (My ex psychopath said he never bonded with his mother.) They are never engaged and committed to a relationship and to another person; it’s all a game.

It is incredibly painful to be the victim of the smear campaign these spaths wage after they discard us. It hurt me a lot, and it took me a long time to stop caring who thinks what about me. My relationships with my true friends, those who really matter to me, were not affected by anything the psychopath tried to do and say. They had known me too long and too well.

It is normal to feel like describe you’re feeling. You are human and you are experiencing normal emotions to having been mistreated, exploited and betrayed. You take your ability to love and your ability to bond and your compassion and all your wonderful attributes and talents with you where ever you go. You will give someone who loves and appreciates you all the good things you have to offer.


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