Reply To: New to the Site; Obsessed with Him

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Dear bamboozled, no matter how handsome, charming, funny, or occasionally wonderful this guy seems on paper, his behaviors show he does not love or cherish you. You deserve much better than this, but it’s difficult to see it when you are caught up in the addiction. It can take some time, but once you have broken the addiction, you will see things more clearly. One of the things I’ve read about cancer is that we all have potential cancer cells but if our immune system is strong enough, we can fight it. Your relationship with him is likely contributing to your weakened physical state. So that’s a really good reason to stay away from him. Also, I want you to know that I would never judge you for getting involved with someone who is separated and waiting for divorce. The sociopath I dated was in the same situation, only he was lying and had no intention of getting a divorce. I’m guessing there are many lies and deceptions going on with yours too. Just remember that even if he does come back, it will be to play games with you. Please be strong and don’t fall for it.

After I recovered from the sociopath and had the clarity of mind to set some boundaries for myself, I made it a policy just not to date any separated men or even any who were fresh out of a divorce. There are very good self-protective reasons to do that, but of course, sociopaths can be so charming and convincing. I know. I’ve been there. (((hugs)))

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