Reply To: Married to high functioning sociopath


Donna Andersen

Sun – I am very sorry for your situation. It might help you to understand that sociopaths are not all the same. Personality disorders are both a syndrome and a continuum.

A syndrome is a collection of symptoms that are usually found together – like shallow emotions, lying, uncontrollable rage, Jekyll and Hyde personality, grandiosity and other traits.

A continuum means that a person may have all of these traits to greater or lesser degrees.

Therefore, people with personality disorders may have a multitude of traits, and all of them to various degrees.

It may or may not be possible to diagnose your husband as “a sociopath.” But I would certainly say that he is disordered.

If his behavior has become worse over the years, or continue to get worse, this could be an additional problem. Some disordered people can “hold it together” for a period of time, and then, at some point, they decide that keeping up the appearance of being a partner is no longer worth the effort. Then their negative behavior escalates.

He is unlikely to change, and may get worse. The question for you is, do you want to stay in this kind of a marriage?

Of course, if you leave, that might be a major trigger for him to escalate his bad behavior. You will also have to decide if it’s worth the risk.

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