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Reply To: I am leaving – but I feel bad because I am not confronting him before leaving

#40311

cyndyinaz
Participant

Hi Jan7,
I love what you say — trust your gut! So many times I didn’t trust my gut and every time, I regretted it.
Even though I feel like an a&* because I am being nice to him so that he won’t detect I am leaving, I remember just a couple of months ago when I was confronting him on his lies and letting him know I found his behaviors of calling me over and over on Mondays controlling (Monday is one of my days off), he started smothering me and even rushed home after one phone argument because he thought I was leaving. He has never been physical with me, but I just feel that he would try to talk me back as well as make hired movers uncomfortable or something”¦he would try to stop it in some way. I am not sure exactly what he would do but for some reason, it makes me feel fearful. That might be my issue and nothing to do with him. I don’t know. Even though I don’t think he would ever physically hurt me, I am afraid. Sort of going off topic, but he has lots of guns and I have a few. We go shooting at the shooting range. He suggested that one time we should go to the desert and go shooting. I said, “Heck no!” This upset him, I think because he knew I was afraid to and he hated I thought that. Again, I think that is my issue. What is most important to him is his stellar image — he is thought highly of and admired by many. Everyone thinks he is Mr. Wonderful and I am just the luckiest person to be with him. This keeps him from doing things that are overtly harmful — it is all covert. (took me sooo long to figure this out). Nonetheless, after getting feedback from all of you kind people on this board, I feel like I am doing the right thing for my dog and myself (MANY THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT!!!!  — I feel like I don’t have much support. I am leaving next week and I am pretty darn anxious)
Thanks for sharing your story — man — that ex of yours was a real piece of work!
Thanks for the links — I will check them out — I am really looking forward to looking at the adrenal fatigue stuff. I thinking I am coming up on menopause but I have noticed that I am having a hard time getting up and getting going — last year when I left, I would get up, pack stuff, get stuff done — this time, I am the opposite — everything is taking forever to get done.

Thanks again for the support — I really appreciate it!


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