Reply To: Dealing with mutual friends



hi auri12, I’m new to the site too, I’m a gay guy just been involved with a sociopath. Very painful. I’m glad I found this site too. I’m finding these threads so helpful. I now understand what’s happened and I feel like I’m beginning to heal. I read that if the sociopath is good, he’ll have already got to your friends and have made you out to be the crazy one. I’m certainly finding this in my case, I noticed a few of our mutual friends have cut down contact with me. I had seen this before now but just assumed they had their own busy lives (even though I knew it was kind of suspicious how they all had just become ‘busy’ all of a sudden at the same time). I also read that you might have to be prepared to let friends go if that’s what’s happened – that you shouldn’t try to explain what’s happened to them and warm them about him cause if he’s good he will have put real serious doubts in their mind about you and they’ll be questioning whether it’s you that’s telling the lies. This is one of the hardest and most painful struggles I had to come to terms with, letting some people go that I knew I couldn’t convince. The only way I’m getting through it is by telling myself that if they’re so one sided that they wouldn’t try and talk to me first and get my take on things before judging etc then perhaps they weren’t the friends I thought them to be in the first place. I don’t know if any of this will help, I can’t imagine this is the kind of thing you want to hear and I sincerely apologise if this is difficult to take in especially when often it’s those very friends that you’d hope would be there for you for support that are now doubting you, but I’m just warning you about a possible scenario that may occur as a result of it so you can be prepared. It’s better to be aware of the lengths they can go to to destroy your life if they feel that way inclined. I wish you all the best. Stay strong.

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