Reply To: 2.5 months and haven't heard from him… Help!
How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other exploiters › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › 2.5 months and haven't heard from him… Help! › Reply To: 2.5 months and haven't heard from him… Help!
Hey girl, do you want him to message you? If so what for???
Seriously ask yourself, why do you love him? Why do you want him in your life?
There is no time frame of when a narc will contact you. I went/am going through the same situation. Here is my story and maybe it will help you because it is extremely relatable to your story.
I dated this guy for two years. He was my first love and I thought he would be my last. I was 100\% devoted to him. His huge charismatic personality drew me in. He seemed like the absolute most perfect human to exist for me in particular. He took his car off the road to save money for school. He decided to go to university at 25 years old. So he walked from his house in the country to my work to bring me flowers. This was a 3 hours walk!!!! He once bought two journals and combined them into one because I was looking for a specific look that I could not find in stores so he literally spent $100 to make this journal for me. He took me on lavish dates and spoiled me with beautiful and heartfelt gifts. I was never a materialistic person but I felt so adored and loved by this man.
We NEVER argued for the first year and a half. We were planning to get our own place and our own dog. Then things suddenly shifted. Out of the blue he became distant and he was NOT the man I thought he was. Turns out there were red flags from the beginning but I chose to ignore them. I was so brainwashed by this man. Once we started having problems he made a tinder account. We would never argue really, it was more of him just ignoring me and leaving me completely oblivious to where he was and what he was doing and who he was with. I cried so many nights so confused and desperate to get back what we once had.
I made myself sick. I would literally get physically ill because I was so heartbroken that this guy who was supposed to be my best friend would treat me like garbage. My family and friends saw how sad I was and they had no idea what was wrong until I would finally speak up and they were shocked because they were compelled by his allure just like I was. He was so good at lying and so good at making himself look like such an amazing person.
We broke up for a week and I forgave him and took him back but he did not want to change his FB relationship status after we got back together. He wanted to keep it as SINGLE. I told him that he should make it private, that we didn’t even need to go public with our relationship but I didn’t feel it was fair for it to say single when we were still together. I can’t believe I was so desperate for this man. I was completely brainwashed. It only took about 6 months for him to meet someone else and no he never did change his FB status from single…he told me I was immature for wanting him to change it that it must be our age difference since I was 22 at the time and he was 26 by then.
He met a new girl while he was with me. Began ignoring me again and I was left heartbroken for two weeks I didn’t know what was happening but my gut told me he was with this girl and I was right. Mere days after he broke up with me via text message he made it FB official with her. I wondered what she had that I didn’t. Fast forward to New Years, he was on vacation with her in Australia. He messaged me. I didn’t respond. He messaged me again 3 weeks ago. Today would have been our anniversary if we were still together. I replied when he messaged me 3 weeks ago.
He said breaking up with me was the biggest mistake of his life. He said if he could go back he would and he would love me the right way. I ONCE AGAIN let him fool me. I let my emotions cloud my judgement. I asked if he was still with the girl he left me for and he said that YES HE IS STILL WITH HER. He changed my name to “Nick” in his phone….so that she wouldn’t know that he is messaging me. I was so confused for those 3 weeks of talking to him. I am so embarrassed for letting this guy control my emotions so much. I will never ever get back together with him. A week ago I was still pining for him but not anymore. I know what a narcissist is now and I cannot let him break me the way he did before.
Please go out with your friends. Ignore that loser when he comes back because I guarantee he will. He will come back when you LEAST expect it, he will come back at a time where you are feeling your best. DO NOT LET HIM BACK INTO YOUR HEART. You are a good person a pure soul with a lot of love to give, don’t give your time and love to someone that doesn’t deserve it. Don’t waste your precious life on someone that doesn’t even know what love is.
It is unfortunate, it’s a harsh reality. Focus on yourself and how you can make your own life better. Enjoy your new found FREEDOM! Eventually you will find a true love. But be cautious. I hear that many times people fall back into old habits even in new relationships because those narcs have a way of scoping out the good people…trust your instinct and love wisely, don’t ignore red flags.