Reply To: Please help me..



Baby Red,
Welcome to the club. I know you feel alone, and are probably physically alone. However, you are not alone in the world. There are many, many people on this website who believe you, understand you and can offer you support. We have been where you are. We survived, are surviving. You are not destroyed. You “only” feel like you are destroyed.

FEELING destroyed and BEING destroyed are not the same thing.

It is a terrible realization that the person whom you loved and trusted was using you. You are in shock. You have been deeply betrayed and used like an object. You did NOT deserve this.

It is night time and the night will be long. Your first task will be to get through this night. This will entail providing the equivalent of a mother’s caring arms around you. You will have to provide this for yourself. That is OK… as long as your body feels cared for, it doesn’t matter who is providing the care.

I have a box (it is an old fashioned ceramic bread box) that I keep things that comfort me. I have my favorite perfume (lily of the valley), some crossword puzzles and some jokes I downloaded but have not read. These are the things that distract my mind and enable me to get respite from the sorts of feelings you are describing.

What would you put in your “comfort box”? Collect those things now. Have a shower or a bath and use a fluffy new towel you probably have put away and not used. Your body deserves this. Google “jokes” on a topic that you would enjoy…. Any second of respite you can get from your current state is good. Make yourself a hot chocolate. Do you have a pet? It is very soothing to have a warm animal on your lap and stroke its fur.

Avoid alcohol. It makes the feelings worse. Focus on getting through the night and by tomorrow other people will have replied to your post. There might not be a lot of responses because it is the Easter break and many people do go away for a few days. Isn’t it strange how these crises always happen over a long weekend or public holiday?

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