Reply To: I can never forgive some people
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Dear Stargazer, I don’t know about the counselor’s final decision or feelings. I only ask myself how such an experience would affect her belief system.
You are right here: “Maybe the most respectful gift you can give yourself is to let it be okay to be angry and maybe the timing isn’t right to change that.”
I used to try to be some sort of saint. Now, I allow myself to be a regular person, to be human. I no longer deny my feelings As a matter of fact, I am at present steaming at the phone company. The tech came out yesterday, would not admit or did not know, that the phone company was what caused the problem. His repair only lasted less than 24 hours. The cell phone company, and my cell phone are history. I smashed the phone with a hammer the day before yesterday — I could not get a connection on it – again.
I’m glad you have been able to forgive your mother. I had a similar experience with my dad and other members of my family of origin. I made a list of things I could remember that were 100\% wonderful with them. Then, I realized that my parents were very young, that both of them had lost their same-sex parent at an early age (dad was 10, mother 17) and that they had no role models. It was easy for me to let go of most of my resentment.