Reply To: I just need support
How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other exploiters › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › I just need support › Reply To: I just need support
Hi Searching, first I’m sending you hugs. It’s not easy to sort your mind thru all of their chaos & abuse. I’m so glad that you came here to Lovefraud to post your story & ask for support.
One of the biggest life lessons I have learned from my personal nightmare of being married (now divorced) from a sociopath for 12 years is to ask for help and support. So kudos to you for reaching out for help.
One of the biggest support systems is your countries National domestic violence hotline & local abuse centers. At your local center you can attend free counseling & free women group meeting. The group meetings are wonderful to vent & to learn from other victims. So look into this.
In the USA the number for the National Domestic violence hotline is 800-799-SAFE. Go to these!! They will be a huge stepping stone out of your marriage for good.
As for you talking to him again. These evil sociopaths know exactly how to suck their victims back into their con game with words!! Everything your husband is telling you are LIES…you know this!!
Do you know everything your husband tells you are lies??
He is never going to change EVER….you know this. I knew this too but like you I keep trying to “fix” him & our marriage. I read books & made changes…but guess what he never did read one book or make changes to better the marriage. He, like your husband cheated on me endless times…when i finally escaped, he was cheating with 3 women (maybe 5) in two different states. This was my marriage.
The hardest thing I ever did was drive away from our marriage the last time…the best thing I ever did was file for divorce & got this low life evil sociopath out of my life for good. I have ZERO regret divorcing him…my only regret is letting him in my life in the first place.
What I have learned:
1) Sociopaths are cult leader & you are his cult follower!
(say that again!)
Sociopaths are cult leaders & you are his cult follower!
Do you realize your husband is a cult leader & you are his cult follower??
His lying words are holding you into this marriage. You need to start watching his actions & most importantly you need to make a list of all the mean, abusive etc actions that he has done in your marriage.
It will shock you to see how long the list is. But it will slowly start to wake up your mind to his brain washing & mind control over you.
Bottom line: DONT LISTEN TO HIS LYING WORDS.
Remember the old saying: Actions speak louder then words!!
2) You are holding two different belief system about him. One he is good…two he is bad. I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT HE IS ALL BAD. He has trained you from day one to accept his horrible treatment.
Do a search here at love fraud for “cognitive dissonance” and also on the net. This will explain the two belief system. What you need to do is see him for what he really is = pure evil.
Just like an animal is trained these sociopaths train everyone around them.
Do you know your husband has trained you to accept his horrible behavior??
Google: Domestic abuse Power & control wheel.
This wheel explains how the cycle of abuse continues over & over in a abusive relationship.
3) How he has brain washed you over time.
Google: Freedom of mind bite model
(this is how we were all slowly mind controlled by these evil people)
I will write more later.
Call the Hotline right now. 800-799-SAFE (us)
Hugs to you.