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Reply To: I just need support

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THANK YOU THNAK YOU THANK YOU.. I have read at least 2 dozen books on psychopaths and sociopaths and it HAS given me strength! A lot more than I have ever had. THIS.. THIS person he created… It’s NOT me!!
The worst part of all of this. I am in a support group. I have people who have actually been in the same marriage that I am. unfortunately some just say move on- they did so I can. WELLLLL they forgot the reality of the situation of they were truly involved with a PP/SP. The destruction to your mind seems to be almost endless at times. I KNOW my husband is a liar, a cheater and probably even damgerous and it’s not just me he tries to destroy on a daily basis. It’s anyone that he is able to. I KNOW in my heart every single about him is FAKE but I struggle to wrap my mind around that. I cannot seem to grasp the reality (until the full blown verbal abuse starts again) that someone cannot feel love. That what he says and does is not real EVEN though I know it’s a lie. This sounds so extremely stupid when it comes out but it’s my honest feelings. I need to stop taking the blame (which is what I have gotten so used to). I truly want out and that’s why I have reached out here. The honesty and reality of everyone’s life on here makes me finally feel completely safe to fully open up. And I am hoping and praying that is what I need.
This Man has called me every name under the sun, sends me videos of him masterbating, threatens, and OHHHH the horrible things he says about me in public.. WHEN I have supported him (because he goes through jobs like no other), He has stolen so much $ from me that I don’t have a savings anymore but live pay check to pay check. I have finally gotten my credit back to a half normal number again. I think about all of the things he has said, done and will continue to do (as long as I allow it) and here I am.. feeling like a failure for giving in to the hovering. AND KNOWING FULL WELL WHAT HE’S AFTER…
I am so sorry to go off on a tangent. I am finally able to get stuff OUT OUT and I feel like I can’t thing and type enough.


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