Reply To: I just need support
How to recognize and recover from sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists and other exploiters › Forums › Lovefraud Community Forum – General › I just need support › Reply To: I just need support
Hi Searching, You are so welcome! Thinking back on my own experience how you feel is how I was too. Not able to make the final move out. I knew he was bad, I knew he would not change, I knew I lived in hell & that his bevior was not normal…but I was so mentally, emotionally & physically exhausted I could not find the door out of the relationship.
I literally would think to myself during that time that I needed someone, anyone to come in a swoop me up & carry me out of my house.
Of course, that never happened. Why? because I never opened up to anyone about what was going on. My ex made sure from day one that I never talk to anyone. SO guess what I didnt.
I am glad you came here to ask for support. It’s a huge step. Yes, you are in a “support” group but it seems like they just dont get the fact a sociopath brain washes & mind controls their victims.
SO you need help opening up your mind now. That is why I asked those questions above. Asking someone that is under the mind control of a sociopath a question(s) will help to free the mind.
So write those questions down and ask yourself those questions every day. Over and over. This will open your mind up.
Just like a victim trying to leave say a religious cult and victims of domestics abuse needs to open their mind up.
YEs, like you, I could see that I was being abused. Like you, I wanted to leave everyday…well really I never wanted to date, move in with or marry my ex. But he knew how to con me..just like your husband does now to you.
What everyone thinks about a restraining order is it stops a domestic abuser…but the real intent (I think now) is to prevent the victim from being sucked back into the relationship. It gives the vicim time to clear the mind fog, brain washing etc. from the abuser. SO a restraining order is your weapon of defense to clear your mind.
So take this time with this restraining order to look after YOURSELF. Use it to clear your mind.
What most people do not realize is the fact all the stress a toxic relationship has on a victim is the fact that the human body response to the stress by releasing large leaves of cortisol, adrenaline and other hormones. This too causes the vicim to not think clearly to get out of the relationship.
DID YOU KNOW THAT MOST VICTIMS HAVE HEALTH ISSUES DURING THEIR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
What symptoms does stress cause a person?
Memoery loss, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, mood swings, sleep issues etc (it’s a long long list)
It takes time for the body to settle down & return all the hormone back to normal. Some how a sociopath knows this and they keep their victims at high level stress level so they have full control over them.
I dont mean to pry but how is your health? (you dont have to type anything here on LF just write down your symptoms you have been feeling since day one with this guy)
and then step back and connect them with him & your stress level.
On another site, the site creater asked everyone vicim if they had health issues….over 400 victims wrote on the post. Most symptoms were the same!!! So the daily stress you are under hon, is also preventing you from thinking clearly & from leaving.
Look into Adrenal Fatigue as the root issue.
The adrenal glands regulate the bodies blood pressure, blood sugar, cortisol & adrenaline levels, and over 50 hormones.
THE ARE A BIG DEAL. Stress is the cause of Adrenal fatigue…ie stress at work, a sport or a toxic relationship.
Just because you removed your husband from your daily life does not mean your body automatically goes back to “normal”. it can take up to 6 months to 2 years to get the body back to “normal”. The fact that your husband is still in your life is still HIGH levels of stress on your body.
GOOGLE: DRLAM. COM AND ADRENALFATIGUE. ORG and also just “adrenal fatigue”
(LOOOK AT SYMPTOMS on both sites to see if you have the symptoms). If you do (which I suspect you do) find a good Endocrinologist doctor to test you for cortisol levels, hormonal imbalance, etc.
TELL THE DOCTOR THAT YOU ARE IN A ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP so that he full understands your stress level. On those two sites they specifically list “toxic relationship”. Some doctors do not “believe” in adrenal fatigue but it was discovered and recognized by the US Medical board over 100 years ago.
It’s real…and once I left my ex & a friend guided me to a doctor that knew right away that my adrenal glands were fatigue my mind started to clear. Within 4 hours of my doctor giving me a Rx of progesterone and dr wilsons adrenal fatigue victims my anxiety was half! It was that quick..my mind started to think more clearly. Within a month I felt almost normal gain.
Like the old saying: Stress can kill.
Also google: Dr Amen depression you tube
If is normal for the body to release cortisol when breaking up with someone but with a sociopath breakup the body has been releasing high levels of cortisol since day one. So when a vicim wants to leave they feel a another surge of cortisol released and it’s scary to feel that stress to the vicim wants to reduce the stress = then goes back to their abuser. But it’s only short lived the relief because the sociopath will once again create a highly stressful home.
Let me know your thoughts hon. Take care.