Reply To: What should I do?



Very sorry to hear of your situation. You wrote, “What if he leaves me? I cannot stand another separation.” It’s gonna be tough — but you must save yourself from this guy. Is he living with you? Does he have access to your computer or any other electronic devices that would give him information such as your posts here? Some on this site will advise you on how to protect and hide this information from him. You say, yourself, that you “think (your) decision was not very correct.” I know you are scared. I was scared — probably everyone at this forum has experienced much of what you are experiencing. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced that in the first relationship after a divorce. It was harder than the divorce. BUT that said, when a guy is messin’ with your appearance — what you should wear, how to wear your hair — and now THIS — “cosmetic” surgery, just for him?! No way. It’ll be real tough, BUT there are good men out there. There are ways to find them, places where you’ll be safe, or as safe as possible. But don’t rush into anything this time. Some things you might want to do are, first of wall, do NOT do cosmetic surgery! It’s you, it’s your body, it belongs to YOU ONLY, and the only cosmetic surgery people get is because THEY want it — not because someone else wants them to have it. I suggest you get rid of this guy asap. No time to love and care for you, but your are his sex object AND he wants you to cut yourself????!!! There are abuse support groups, women’s crisis centers. Call the women’s crisis center NOW. Get yourself some support and help to get out.

Call 24/7 FREE — Call RIGHT NOW! 1-800-799-7233 IT’S FREE. They also have Chat.
You are real scared and upset. Get some support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline — notice they give support for questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship — not just violence, but this guy is being emotionally abusive with you. I think pressuring you to get surgery is emotional violence.

“Our highly-trained advocates are available 24/7 to talk confidentially with anyone experiencing domestic violence, seeking resources or information, or questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship.”

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

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