Reply To: Do I sacrifice my 15 year old son whose father is a sociopath to save my family?



This is a heartbreaking situation, bradysmom. I’m so sorry you must go through this. I resonate completely with Donna’s advice. You must be completely drained and exhausted, and I imagine at some point this will affect your health if it has not done so already. Donna mentioned a tactical retreat. I would extend that to an actual physical retreat, maybe for a week to a spa where you can relax and clear your mind, if you are able to. If not, then just a retreat from the fight to regroup. The situation is completely unfair but much of it seems out of your control. I agree that if you stop fighting, the monster may withdraw – he is in it for the fight and for the win. If he is truly a sociopath, than he regards your son as a commodity and way to hurt you. He knows you are hurt by how much you are fighting and the emotion you show. Remember, these vampires prey on your emotions. If you stop fighting and let go, he will get to see just how hard it is to raise a 16 year-old. And if not, there are only two more years left. He can’t win if you don’t play. There is so much peace in letting go, even though letting a child go must be the hardest thing to do. Like Donna said, I would find a way to let your son know that you love him and that you’ll be there for him. Stay in touch as much as you are able. This may be all you can do, and it may be the best you can do for yourself and your young daughter.

I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is to want to protect your child but you can’t. I’m so sorry. The sociopath can control a lot of things but he can’t control your inner peace. Please find a way to be peaceful and don’t let him take that away from you. Perhaps it’s just knowing that true love conquers all and that your son will see this and return when he is able. Or to know that karma will take its toll on your ex with or without your participation.

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