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Reply To: Do I sacrifice my 15 year old son whose father is a sociopath to save my family?

#41103

AnnettePK
Participant

Do you have a good attorney? It sounds like you need the very best in legal representation. Even though it’s expensive initially, it’s likely it will save you money in the long run. A good attorney may be able to get the $90,000 that’s owed to you.

Do you have access to a good counselor or therapist for you and for your children? It could be helpful in all that you have to deal with.

Donna’s idea of a tactical retreat/pause in the action sounds like it’s worth considering. You might discuss this change in direction with your son to get his input. You don’t need to view it as ‘sacrificing’ him. A change makes sense because what you’ve been doing has not solved the problem, though not because you’ve not tried your best.

Spaths like the fighting, they like making you miserable and harming you. Some victims have had some success in dealing with spaths by letting the spath think they don’t want custody, and the spath will do all he can to see that the victim gets custody if he believes that it will be an unwanted burden on the victim. That probably wouldn’t work in your situation, but you might look into the grey rock technique and get some ideas about what would work for you. https://lovefraud.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/
https://bullyvaccineproject.com/the-grey-rock-technique-for-dealing-with-psychopaths/
Consider taking away the spath’s payoff as much as possible, which is seeing your distraught emotions and the pain he is causing you. Try not to show him anything at all about your emotions, feelings, thoughts.


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