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Reply To: Narcissit advice, how to get them back

#42079

jaxx1874
Participant

jimbob88,

No doubt you are in a lot of pain right now and only time and no contact will heal you. I speak from experience as I dated a narcissistic man for 5 months and it left me beyond confused and in emotional agony. In the beginning, this man love bombed me and spoiled me for the first two months and then his mask slipped when I witnessed him having a narcissistic rage attack against his son. I knew from the beginning that things weren’t right but I ignored my instincts. After a couple more months, he started the devaluing phase because he suspected that I knew too much and he couldn’t pull anything over me. I planned my escape and he went nuts. He pulled out all the stops – pity play, triangulation, guilt trip, etc. and when I finally caved, that’s when the real abuse started. In his mind – how dare I leave him. The cost to my emotional health was dire. I became addicted to him and he knew it – I went from being the woman of his dreams to an unpaid hooker. He knew that the sex was amazing and used it against me. He told me I would be alone forever and that I would never find anyone who would love me like he did. He had another supply lined up immediately and he didn’t hesitate to post pictures of him and her on Facebook, all the while texting me to taunt me with sex. 6 months after our breakup, he texted me to tell me he was engaged and even sent me pics of their rings. That is the tip of the iceberg.

It took me about 2 years to heal from this experience but I could only do it with no contact with him. I thought I would never get over this man. Do I still think about him? Yes, but Im not obsessing over him and stalking his FB page like I used to.

I recommend the following:

– Read everything you can about Cluster B personality types (knowledge is power!)
– Meditate
– No contact, no contact, no contact (this includes cyber stalking and avoiding any associations with him)
– See a therapist who is knowledgable with narcissitic abuse
– Feel your feelings and breathe through them
– Talk to those you trust and ignore those that tell you to get over it

Know that you are NOT alone – many people have experienced what you are experiencing and your feeling are very normal.


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