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Reply To: Hi I'm new and need help

#42230

Jan7
Participant

Hi Sweetness, you’re so welcome! We have all been where you are now. You want the pain to end but not quite ready to give up on the relationship.

You have to do a lot of soul searching to realize you deserve so much better then what you are settling for. It’s better to be alone with your children then to be in a emotional, mental & verbally abusive relationship.

Did you know that manipulation is emotional & mental abuse?

Do you know that lying is emotional, mental & verbal abuse?

Do you know he is trying to control you & have power over you every time he leaves you?

This is all abuse.

Do you know that you are in a abusive relationship?

Do you know that the bulk of domestic abuse is not physical abuse but rather emotional, mental, verbal & financial abuse?

The fact he is emailing/texting women while at your home leads me to believe that he is most likely cheating. Whether emotional cheating or physically cheating.

It is extremely common for narcissist & sociopaths to go missing for days or weeks when they are cheating on their mate. So open your mind up to this possibility seriously. He might have said things to you that you just chose to ignore or at the time made no sense but now his words make sense.

You should be proud of yourself. You are starting to see & accept the truth of his behavior. You should be proud that you have done some research into his behavior. Not reacting & acting “needy” is a good place to be & also a huge step in leaving him for good. So YES!! Be proud of yourself hon. We have all been where you are…it’s not easy to break free of a narcissist or sociopath narcissist. You are making amazing steps!!

These types will always use “sociopath blame shift” “narcissist blame shift” (do a search on LF & the net). He is dragging up the past to control your mind from seeing that once again he left you.

Beware these types always boomerang back to past victims.

At one point you have to make the chose to just get off the emotional roller coaster he is creating everyday. This is the “cycle of domestic abuse power & control wheel” (google”.

Nothing is ever solved with them. It’s always goes from calm, to tension building, to fighting, to break up to make up and then the cycle repeats over & over & over.

It’s emotionally & mentally & physically exhausting to be with a narcissist or sociopath narcissist.

The only time you truly have peace is when they are out of your life for good. You and your children deserve peace!!


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