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Reply To: Can Sociopath/Psychopath feel sorry for what they do

#42305

jenni marie
Participant

Hi Rosy, I have been a LF member since 2012. A series of internet clicks brought me here, beginning with a click on some survey asking “How healthy is your relationship?” where my answers scored high on “Not Healthy”. No surprise I suppose, but I was still in the mode of trying to figure out how to Improve my relationship with “NOMO” my ex psycho bf. Click after click kept bringing up search results about abusive people & liars & manipulators in romantic relationships until I finally got to a link that had to do with jerks and disordered people who may be more than just your average mean jerk which had links to Lovefraud. The minute I started reading Donna’s site I knew that I may be dealing with a Sociopath. I also know that we can’t actually diagnose them as such, so I decided to pay better attention to what he was doing and saying that matched the Sociopath check list so I could hopefully eliminate “Sociopath” as a reason for his behavior. That was in March of 2012. During one of many break-ups I told him that he has ALL the traits of a Sociopath and that he ought to “google it!”. I fought hard to get him to understand that the way he treated me SUCKED the majority of the time and that I knew he could be nice because he WOULD BE nice to me at times, and he was nice to his “Friends”. Friends who “understood what he was trying to say versus me who was supposed to be intelligent, yet for some reason, I just couldn’t ‘get it'”. It took me three years and nine months to finally peel him off of me, and Keep NO CONTACT. Dozens of break-ups and get back togethers happened between my finding LF, until the night in Dec 2015 that I finally said “Enough”. We were apart from June to early Dec 2015 when he texted me a pic of a sunset and like an idiot, I responded and spent the next 2 weeks in hell after he said that during this last 5 month breakup, he couldn’t ignore his animal needs and so he had been having sex with his friends drunken 21 yr old daughter and also had some other girl sending him texts about how sweet it is that they have such deep life conversations and how great of a man he is. I told him that he better not see the 21 yr old again and that he better text the other one and tell her he was with me and she should move on. Hours and hours of me prodding him to text her, he finally sent this text “ya know how your husband is in heaven? Well it’s kinda got to be like that between us because “as for now, I am romantically bound to Jenni Marie”. WHAT? “AS FOR NOW?!?!?!!!” Instead of “Move on” or please stop “coming on to me now”. I laughed and asked him if he thinks he just sent a message that said that he wanted to be with me, or if he thinks that he just sent a message that said “see you in a while?” He said he didn’t want to hurt her feelings because her husband had only been dead for about a year. Yes. Her feelings are what we want to be concerned about, so “GET OUT!!!!!”. I tried to get him to think like a normal bf and spent hours explaining how it’s his mean lying sneaky actions that caused me to be a “jealous angry bitch” and that no one in my life has EVER acted like he does. So, anyway, You have asked a question that I believe you already know the answer to. He is a Sociopath and you have already spent an inordinate amount of time ALREADY trying to get him to understand that it’s HIS behavior that keeps causing him to lose everyone and everything, the whole time you’ve been with him, since the first time his mask of sanity slipped. Yes? So please don’t waste your time thinking about his impending consequences. Focus on Your Future, and always always always REMEMBER, that the ONLY thing that he would be willing to try and change is: Your Mind.
Best Regards.
Peace out, Jenni


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