Reply To: Q-tip – Quit taking it personally

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Thanks for explaining. I don’t think that not taking a spath’s behavior personally is the same as shrugging it off and forgetting about it. For most victims, it’s not possible to respond to profound betrayal, manipulation, exploitation in that way. Holding the abuser accountable and hopefully preventing harm to other victims when possible are responsible choices that can help bring closure for the victim. These are not mutually exclusive with what most
people on this site mean when we speak of not taking the abuse personally, which is an understanding that spaths don’t bond and that they choose to abuse anyone they can get away with it, not that there’s anything special about any particular victim. They just don’t care, one way or the other.

Forgery is a criminal offense, what a blessing that he did not ‘get away with it.’ Sadly, more often than not spaths do not get caught, and much of their abuse is subtle and not technically illegal or very difficult to prove.

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