Reply To: not sure how to cope after deceit



Vonkie, my heart aches reading your post. I am so sorry that you endured this nightmare of a man. They are all con artist. They have been conning people since they were children. it’s highly probable that one or both of his parents is (are) also sociopaths. So he leaned from them too on how to con people.

You were under his mind control. EXACTLY like a cult leader mind controls his cult followers. Your mind & body are releasing all the pinned up feelings now. To feel these feelings percolating up is a awful experiences. It feels like these percolating emotions will never end. Like Annette states you are grieving.

Google: Stages of Grieving. It will provide insight into all of your emotions right now. I promise you one day all the crying, sobbing & anger will all just end. It’s quite fascinating how the body & mind recovers from trauma. Dont stuff your feelings down. FEEL them!! Let them out. Some how our body & mind nows the steps in healing. So dont fight these steps.

Most if not all victims of a sociopath suffer from PTSD. It sounds like you are suffering from PTSD.

I believe one of the most over looked issues of PTSD is Adrenal fatigue. To fully recover I believe that you must heal your adrenal glands.

Our bodies under tremendous amount of continuous stress (i.e. A toxic relationship) will fatigue the adrenal glands. The adrenal glands regulate our bodies blood pressure, blood sugar, cortisol & adrenaline levels (fight, flight or freeze response mode) and regulate over 50 hormones.

Once the adrenal glands are fatigue it wreaks havoc on our body, mind & spirit.

You need to heal your adrenal glands to have peace again.

How do you heal your adrenal glands?

Good clean diet,
no alcohol or drugs (obviously if you are under doctors care you need to discuss Rx you are on),
possible hormonal balancing (no big deal natural hormones pill or cream),
plenty of sleep,
plenty of relaxation,
avoid unnecessary stress (i.e. toxic relationship follow the No Contact Rule (google)

Symptoms of Adrenal fatigue (long list here is the short version):

sleep issues
mood swings
panic attacks
brain fog
memory loss

See sites like Dr Lam. com and Adrenal fatigue. org for full symptoms list. Google Dr Wilson adrenal fatigue toxic relationship. He has an article on the subject.

On another support site, the site creator, ask how many had health issues during their relationship with a narcissist. Over 400 responded and ALL had health issues!!! Everyone posted symptoms = everyone was a symptom of Adrenal fatigue!!

As they say: Stress kills

You have been under an enormous amount of stress during & now after your abuser. The stress you are under now is your mind percolating up all the emotions that were blocked while under your abusers mind control. Look into this issue of PTSD. For me within 4 hours of my doctor giving me Dr Wilson’s adrenal fatigue victims & progesterone hormone pills my anxiety was half. Within weeks I moved emotionally towards my old self.

As for warning the other woman. I did warn 3 women who my ex h, a sociopath, was cheating on me with. One dumped him asap as she had zero idea he was married!! One stayed with him & the other one kept in contact with him. I planted the seed in their minds as to who he was, hopefully they too have escaped his abuse.

I warned them only when I was in a safe place!! THIS IS KEY. If you are not safe = DO NOT get involved!!

If you are safe then you can simply send an anonymous letter with the words “research sociopath traits” and maybe guide her to either love fraud or psychopathyawareness. wordpress. com. Mail it from a post office in another town so that he can not connect that it was you who sent it. No doubt he has many victims on the hook.



You should be so proud of yourself for literally escaping a sociopath!! And for contacting his ex wife. To learn the truth is hard…but it will help you to fully recover.

Thank goodness you have this evil manipulative sociopath out of your life!!!

Keep him out for good!!!

Hugs to you!💜

Wishing you all the best!!

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