Reply To: Introducing Myself/On BPD and The Definition of Love

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Well, I don’t have BPD, but I still think the author of that article was being rather harsh on people who do. 🙂

Ugh, this is my fault. I should have explained more specifically, but I was trying to keep my post to a reasonable length. Schizoid and schizotypal PD are two distinct disorders, though they’re both in the same “cluster” and have similar names.

Schizotypal PD (courtesy of Wikipedia):

“People with this disorder feel extreme discomfort with maintaining close relationships with people, mainly because they think that their peers harbor negative thoughts towards them, so they avoid forming them. Peculiar speech mannerisms and odd modes of dress are also symptoms of this disorder. Those with STPD may react oddly in conversations, not respond or talk to themselves.

They frequently interpret situations as being strange or having unusual meaning for them; paranormal and superstitious beliefs are common. Such people frequently seek medical attention for anxiety or depression instead of their personality disorder. Schizotypal personality disorder occurs in approximately 3% of the general population and is more common in males.”

“A disorder characterized by eccentric behavior and anomalies of thinking and affect which resemble those seen in schizophrenia, though no definite and characteristic schizophrenic anomalies have occurred at any stage. There is no dominant or typical disturbance, but any of the following may be present:

Inappropriate or constricted affect (the individual appears cold and aloof);
Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric or peculiar;
Poor rapport with others and a tendency to withdraw socially;
Odd beliefs or magical thinking, influencing behavior and inconsistent with subcultural norms;
Suspiciousness or paranoid ideas;
Obsessive ruminations without inner resistance
Unusual perceptual experiences including somatosensory (bodily) or other illusions, depersonalization or derealization;
Vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, over-elaborate or stereotyped thinking, manifested by odd speech or in other ways, without gross incoherence;
Occasional transient quasi-psychotic episodes with intense illusions, auditory or other hallucinations and delusion-like ideas, usually occurring without external provocation.”

It has a lot in common with Asperger’s Syndrome, but you can’t have both at the same time. But that’s where it gets muddy in my case because in the psychiatrist’s office that was supposed to be testing me for Schizotypal PD I said and acted the way my father told me to to get out of there, and basically lied through my teeth. (And would do so again. Knowing for self awareness and curiosity’s sake would have been interesting, but nobody is medicating ME.)

“It takes a lifetime to learn not to take on what the world – and the western mental health system – tells us we should be.”

That was beautiful-like the kind of epic quote that should be on a person’s grave. And I agree with the sentiment. Wikipedia pages and lists of symptoms make EVERYTHING remotely related to a disorder sound like the worst thing in the world, but…for instance, “Obsessive ruminations without inner resistance.” If one wasn’t trying to put everything in the worst light possible, that would be called “creative thinker who is willing to think outside the box (and sometimes overthinks things)” And it’s mind-boggling to me that anyone would resist their own thoughts or ideas. Anyone who TELLS people to resist them (with the obvious exception if those thoughts are about hurting others)-well, that genuinely makes me angry.

And whether you have a high-functioning case of BPD or not, you seem like a really nice person who deserves happiness on your own terms (as opposed to society’s). 🙂 That was a WAY more open and accepting response than I expected. So thank you.

And next time, I shall post more about my father and brother.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  junebug.

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