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Reply To: Help Please! I can´t stop thinkin about him.

#43047

AnnettePK
Participant

Paula,

The way you’re feeling is within normal range. In my own experience I hardly got out of bed for a month. Grieving your loss and processing the betrayal and abuse is a lot of work. Recognizing that you feel stuck in your recovery is a good first step. If there are regular times your thoughts churn, you can try to alter your routine – for example if you think of him when you wake up, you can gently push the thoughts away and replace them with something else – read a magazine over breakfast, if you pray, maybe pray for someone you know who needs prayers, take a walk, turn on the news or another tv program, put on some engaging music, call a friend, make a list of all the people and things in your life you are grateful for, or whatever distraction works for you.

If you feel that there is some unresolved feelings you’re dealing with, you might try writing but not sending, a letter to him telling him what you think about what he did, how you feel, etc whatever you want to get off your chest and out of your mind, and then burn it and scatter the ashes. These are just ideas, you will know what will work for you. For example one of the things I did was print a picture of a tombstone (http://www.tombstonebuilder.com/) with his name and the dates of our ‘relationship’ and tacked it up in my kitchen. It satisfied my feelings and it memorialized that he was gone and it was over, for me.


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