Reply To: His new victim has just contacted me via Facebook

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It sounds like your ex’s new target had enough suspicions to reach out to you, and it sounds like you helped her out a lot. Even if she wavers not knowing whom to believe – you or the spath’s lies, you have given her some info she can come back to in her mind to help her make the right decision to get away when she is ready.

Your idea to just suggest to her she get tested for the STD sounds like a good solution. She will get the point, though you haven’t said anything specific. It sounds like you are being careful not to get too involved, while still extending some help to the latest victim. When I was in the worst of my ex psychopath experience, I wished very much I could talk to his first ex wife, but I did not want to cause her consternation so I didn’t contact her, but I came very close. I felt like she could have helped me.

“I have never been afraid of him , not even when he was running with a loaded gun around the holiday house.” If you were present when he was doing that, you might consider if he was putting anyone in danger. You might consider why you didn’t feel fear and what behavior on his part would cause you to worry. I had a false sense of security about my ex psychopath for a long time. It took me awhile to recognize how potentially dangerous he is. A person with this disorder does not have any restraints of conscience nor empathy to stop him from doing anything, including harming others to the point of murder, if he thinks that it will benefit him and if they think that he won’t get caught. Understanding his motives helped me to assess whether he might act violently. It was inaccurate of me to assume, ‘oh, he wouldn’t do….’ the way we can be certain of normal people’s boundaries whom we know well. My ex psychopath might have killed people or he might not have – depending on what was in it for him and whether he could get away with it. He is a pathological liar so he wouldn’t tell the truth about what he had done or planned to do, unless the truth happened to be the most effective way to manipulate.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  AnnettePK.

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