Reply To: Need help getting out of the obsession stage

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I consciously did a couple of things to guide myself through the process. I allowed myself to indulge my grief and to go over and over a memory I was obsessing about. To a point, then I would deliberately do something else and think about something else. I didn’t look too far ahead; I had small goals. When I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, I would set a goal of getting up and doing one thing – such as do the dishes, and not worry about the laundry that needed to be done and the rest of the mess in the house….
I found that spending time with young children tended to take my mind off my obsessive thoughts. Talking to a friend helped – both whining about my own problems, and also having him or her tell me about what was going on in his or her life. Helping others less fortunate in some way is an excellent opportunity to feel better. Overall, I balanced grieving/obsessing with doing other productive things, and eventually the grieving/obsessing cycles came less often and lasted shorter.
The way you’re feeling is normal. It’s horrible when you’re experiencing it, and it feels like you’ll never be yourself again and have a happy life. You sound like you’re motivated to recover and like you’re doing the right things for yourself.

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